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Peter Talks about his Betrayal

by Radrook


     The garden was unusually dark and silent that night. It seemed as if the sky was brooding and all the vegetation were in expectation. We had been there before but it had never appeared this way. Our Lord had gone off to be by himself, to pray in solitude and we had fallen asleep. He reprimanded us. Told us to pray for strength so that we would not be overcome by temptation but we didn’t heed his advice.

     Then the night suddenly grew more somber, more silent. A dark, claw-like cloud extended its gnarled fingers across the full moon, and the very wind that had been softly rustling leaves suddenly grew still. There was a movement of foliage in the profound darkness, then Judas appeared from amidst the shadows, accompanied by Roman guards and servants of the High Priest. The others drew back in fear, but I stood by my Lord with my hand on my sword. struck out blindly and severed the ear of the servant of the High Priest. My Lord reprimanded me and healed him.

     Then Judas identified him with a kiss for thirty pieces of silver, and our Lord was arrested and taken away to the Sanhedrin to be judged in a mock trial.

     The rest of the Apostles and disciples immediately fled in panic. I had struck out with my sword but they ignored me as if I had been invisible. Now I alone followed and waited outside in the courtyard, warming myself by a fire, trying to conceal who I really was, lest I be arrested as well.

     The others had abandoned him, but I never would. I had assured him of it during our last celebration of Passover, after he had told us that the shepherd would be struck, and his sheep would be scattered.

     I had objected profusely. Had promised never to betray him although all the others might. Yet he insisted that I would, but I had not believed him. Now more than ever I was convinced that he’d been wrong. Had I not been the only one to resist his arrest? Had I not risked death and imprisonment along with him moments before? Had I not proven that his opinion of my devotion was untrue.

     His words had hurt me deeply and I needed more than all the others to prove him wrong. To prove that even though the others would abandon him, I never would, and so I went and sat outside into courtyard waiting for my Lord to appear so he could see me there and know that he had been wrong. Yet, I tried to conceal myself in the shadows not exposing my face to the direct light of the fire. Why did I not reveal myself plainly? I leaned forward to warm my hands, and a young man who seemed to appear from nowhere and who had seen me with my Lord recognized me.

     “Say! I remember you! You are one of the twelve! He is one of the twelve! I have seen him with The Nazarene many times!” The others around the fire cautiously approached me with torches to get a better look. There was shouting from the Sanhedrin.

     “You are right! He is one of that impostor’s disciples! Let’s hand him over to the Romans!” the man said, flashing a crooked, wicked smile.

     Their growing commotion was beginning to catch the attention of two guards stationed by the Sanhedrin entrance. They had begun to glance over suspiciously and murmur to one another, gesturing with their swords in my direction. In a matter of moments they could arrest me.

     Others would testify that I had been the one who wounded the servant of the High Priest. I would be handed over to the Romans as my Lord had been. Images from memories of what the Romans were capable of doing to prisoners began to assail my mind. The way they barb-whipped a person almost to bare bone. The way they mercilessly pounded the nails into human flesh so that the person agonized for hours as the bones scraped on iron.

     “I don’t know him!” I heard myself almost shout with a fearful voice.

     “But we saw you!” an extremely old, gaunt woman with no teeth and missing an eye shouted.

     “I said I don’t know him!” I heard myself add a few curses in order to convince them that I was telling the truth.

     “But he is one of them! I saw you with him with the Nazarene in Galilee. He certainly is one of them!” a dwarf with a misshapen face said as he prodded my hood aside with a stick.

     “I said I don’t know that man!” I heard myself say once more and a rooster crowed three times just as my Lord had foretold. I remembered my Lord’s words.

     "Before a cock crows you will have betrayed me three times!”

    As if in a daze I rose to my feet to leave and came face to face with my Lord being taken to be judged by Pilate. His face was swollen from the many blows he’d received, was glistening with spittle, and his garments were stained with blood. He stumbled as they pushed him along. Then he gazed upon me with compassion, and I fled. I fled as I had never fled before. Through the dark, narrow streets of Jerusalem-with no destination, stumbling and reeling in an anguish that was tearing me apart, with a sorrow and remorse beyond any consolation. I wept bitter tears of remorse. Then I saw the others, they greeted me, but I fled from their presence.

     I was unfit to be among them. I was no longer an Apostle. I was a spiritual leper that would contaminate them with my very presence, for I had betrayed my Lord the Son of God. But I would be forgiven, I would be restored, and have no cause to weep anymore.


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Points: 4854
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Wed Jan 24, 2018 12:28 pm
LadyOkra wrote a review...



Since the previous reviewer has already left such a detailed review, I'll just point out a little typo I noticed and move on to my thoughts on the piece.

“I said I don;’t know that man!” I heard myself say once more and a rooster crowed three times just as my Lord had foretold. I remembered my Lord’s words.


I'm not very well versed in the teachings of the bible or for that, in any matter related to Christianity. My knowledge is half-baked and is derived from history textbooks. To me, therefore, this story is completely fresh. I think what you have written is beyond beautiful. Your writing style is great. I really love it!

I loved how you portrayed the entire ordeal that Peter went through. He believed that he would never betray the Lord. But in his attempt to prove the Lord wrong, he did exactly what the Lord had predicted. I love how you portrayed his fear of being whipped by the Romans. He is after all only human. This is a great contrast to the Lord, who is not in any way fearful. Towards the end, I love how you expressed his feelings of remorse in beautifully crafted sentences. The only thing that was not very clear to me was:

But I would be forgiven, I would be restored, and have no cause to weep anymore.


I could not really understand what it meant. I'm sorry about that.

All in all, I think this was a great read.

Keep writing more. Cheers. :)




Radrook says...


thanks for the review sand fir the help in making the story better written.
Please note that the narrator is Peter himself telling us what happened. So what the is telling us is that Jesus forgave him. This becomes evident because Jesus appeared to Peter after Jesus was resurrected and told Peter to feed his sheep. Which meant that Peter was still considered an Apostle.

John 21:15 NIV
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."



Wriskypump says...


I see what you were talking about, Rad! You probably ought to have continued the story until the 3 days later after the resurrection. And then even have Peter recall that 'gaze of compassion and knowing' Jesus threw over Peter after/during the whipping/trial God suffered right there



Wriskypump says...


Like, do a small time lapse deal or something. What death happened on the cross was what took the penalty for our faults and allowed God to forgive us. Because God took all of what we deserved, and then buried that hatchet and declared us clean



Radrook says...


I will give your suggestion serious consideration. Will need to let the idea simmer in my brain and see what develops. Thanks for the advice.



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Tue Jan 23, 2018 3:13 pm
Wriskypump wrote a review...



HI!

"It seemed as if the sky were brooding and all the vegetation were in expectation." -- Wouldn't it be proper to say "as if they sky was brooding," since there is only one sky? It may be okay to leave it as is, but it does sound were'd as we have it again repeated after vegetation and so it didn't flow into my mind well the first time or two I read it.

"A dark claw-like cloud exended its ggnarled fingers accross the full moon and the very wind that had been softly rustling the trees suddenly grew still." -- exended, ggnarled, and accross have typos and It sounds like it needs a comma after full moon, for a pause.

"There was a rustle of foliage in the profound darkness and then Judas appeared from amidst the shadows accompanied by Roman guards and servants of the High priest. The others drew back in fear but I stood by my Lord with my hand on my sword as Judas identified him with a kiss for thirty pieces of silver and our Lord was arrested and taken away to the Sanhedrin to be judged in a mock trial."
-- Okay, the only thing I found good about this portion was how you said Jesus was to be judged in a mock trial. Liked the way you worded that. But there are no commas at all. For that reason it blurs by really fast and to the reader it seems there is no chance to catch a breath. I would put a comma after shadows, and after fear. I might even suggest splitting into two diff. sentences after Lord was arrested/ taken away

All the others had immediately fled in panic but I had resisted. I had defended and struck out with my sword but they ignored me. It was as if I had suddenly become invisible. -- All who others? (it's not safe to assume everyone knows this story). The part following it lacks interesting information about the story I think. If I didn't know the story I would feel like something had not been disclosed that I want to know.

fealty? -- I had to look up that word and I'm practically a walking dictionary. Don't you think Devotion, allegiance, faithfulness will be enough?

I have seen him with the Nazarene -- I would capitalize The

would be struck and his sheep scattered. -- it might be better to capitalize His

"There was was shouting from the Sanhedrin." -- I know 'the eye' makes you see 2 of things sometimes. Double was in this instance

" the man said flashing a crooked wicked smile." -- comma after said

"mercilessly pounded the nailes" -- typo on nailes

"I had been the one who wounded the servant of the high priest." -- it might have helped to have been more specific and tell us about the ear incident earlier

“As if in a daze I rose to my feet to leave and came face to face with my Lord being taken to be judged by Pilate." -- it would be more shockingly dramatic if there was a comma after leave, and you said BUT in place of and

His face was swollen from the many blows he’d received, was glistening with spittle, and his garments were stained with blood. -- commas needed for sure in those places

Howabout say, "Yet" he gazed upon me with compassion.

I fled as I had never fled before. Through the dark narrow streets of Jerusalem-with no destination, stumbling and reeling in an anguish that was tearing me apart, with a sorrow and remorse beyond any consolation. I wept bitter tears of remorse. Then I saw the others, they greeted me but I fled from their presence. --- This has some REALLY good imagery

"I was no longer an Apostle." How could I be??!? - it doesn't seem to be enough as it is. I would add some more thoughts for Peter. And I know Peter feels hopeless, but should we end in that state of crippling shame?

(sorry to have been so tough on it, but those are the things I noticed)




Radrook says...


Thanks for the feedback. Will start working on all the things you pointed out. Thanks for the help.




It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best.
— W. Edwards Deming