Young Writers Society

This poem was so short yet was still beautiful. I feel like I read so many poems with crazy long imagery and it was definitely a change of pace reading the simplicity of yours. I like how "my friend is eternal" is bolded and draws the eyes of the reader right to it. I also enjoyed how vague the opening lines were, it kept me wanting to read on. This piece is relatable and simple and can very easily be applied to anyone's life.

A perfect example of well written free verse! Often times, I see writers cloud their work with run off sentences and excessive, nonessential imagery, but this was wonderful! The epitome of less is more, which I love. The lines flow together nicely and I can easily see this being recited with passion at a Poetry out Loud competition. The bolding of the line "my friend is eternal", I'm assuming is to put emphasis on that line, but maybe there is a better way to do so. For now, however, it works just find. The line "the minutes in between blur into a serene grace" desperately need commas like this "between; blur into" or "between blur, into" Just to make it run together more smoothly. The last line is a bit choppy, I see what you're trying to say, but I think this might be a common case of "I'm not sure how I want to say it, so let's try it." It needs to be rephrased to make the statement clearer and help it fit better with the beauty of this piece. Maybe give it a subject like at the bare minimum example "Finally, it shone..." However, you could choose however you want to do it.

Other than that, I loved this!

Keep writing! This was beautiful. (wish I could hug you for how lovely this poem is)

Hi REDBLUESTARFISH!
I love this poem! It is short, and yet, at the same time, it is so impactful. I also love the message and the thought that your friend is someone who will stay with you through your entire life and that the friendship is so strong that it will withstand all obstacles as this love is eternal. I also really like how the first three lines are beautifully written and also a bit vague and obscure. I like this because then the reader can apply the line to their own life and then the poem can become something different for each reader and that flexibility is a beautiful thing. I also love the format and how the line "My friend is eternal." is bolded as it sets up a nice contrast with the rest of the poem and makes the line stand out which further emphasizes the point and meaning of the poem. That being said, I do have a few suggestions. I think the line "Finally, shone in my heart and is to be carried on for all eternity" is missing a subject. I think you should add what shone in your heart between the word "finally" and "shone" to make the sentence a more complete thought. Also, along the lines of grammar, I think that there should be a hyphen between the words "in" and "between" in the line "the minutes in between blur into a serene grace" so that it looks like "in-between". Finally, this is kind of a personal opinion, so take it or don't, it's completely a personal stylistic thing. I feel like it would be better if you chose a different word at the end of the last line instead of the word "eternity" because, in my opinion, it is too similar to the ending of the previous line "eternal". Maybe you could find a synonym for one of those words or you could keep it because again, it's totally a personal preference. All in all, this is a great poem, so keep writing and I hope to read another one of your poems soon!

hey there! I'm gonna review this but I don't have much constructive criticism as the piece is so short!
I love poetry like this, because it could mean anything - the meaning you gave it when you wrote it could be completely different to how I view it. I'd love to know what you wrote it about. it's so mysterious, yet beautiful. To me, it signifies a friendship or somesorts - i can relate it to some life long friendships I had where the beginning is 'non-existent' because it seems as though we'd always been friends.
I loved the use of structure and form - with 'my friend is eternal' in bold. This really shows that lines importance.
I'm out of practice at reviews but I genuinely love this poem. You said so much in just five lines.
Sorry for rambling!

Keep writing

HELLO MULTICOLORED STARFISH AND WELCOME TO YWS

this piece definitely give off that "you have to know what i'm talking about to understand it" vibe. if i were to take a wild as guess as to what you were getting at, i would have to assume that you are explaining to us that how a friendship starts and how it ends are not two things that you can remember very easily, at least for most people. it is the moments in between that seem to carry the most weight, everything fading into one lasting memory of the friendship.

this is quite a message and it's very relatable. while many people don't dwell on what started a friendship, unless it something significant, we can always count on the memories we made along the way to hold a friendship together.

My friend is eternal.

Hello, @REDBLUESTARFISH! I'm Yoshi, and I'll be here for your review on this wonderful poem!

First off, it seems like this poem is a bit short. I don't know if you intended it, but it seems like this is the beginning of a long plot.

Your rhythm here is actually decent. Even though you don't use rhyme, your flow is perfect and your use of punctuation and effects is magnificent. I love how you bolded the fourth line, emphasizing the theme of the poem. Usually, poems this short are very hard to find a theme. I think you did a GREAT job!

That nonexistent beginning has a nonexistent end.

The minutes in between blur into a serene grace.

Hi there STARFISH! First off, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions about it while getting settled in, I'd be glad to answer them ^^

I like your choice to format this poem in the center of the page! The resulting symmetry makes it feel very grounded and focused, if that makes sense. Similarly, the fact that "My friend is eternal" is shorter than the other lines and bolded draws attention to that line and helps to show that it's the main point.

Another thing I enjoy about this poem is how you contrast ideas -> "a nonexistent beginning" with a "nonexistent end"; something you'll "never remember" with something you'll "never forget". It shows really well how many different traits this friend has!

Finally, shone in my heart and is to be carried on for all eternity.