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The Hunters: Necromancer

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

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The cold hard snow burned through his skin as it made impact with his face. The portly young boy neared closer to Thomas. His body was bigger than Thomas's weak and malnourished one.

Fido noticed Thomas's fragility as he let out a laugh. "Do you actually believe you have what it takes to become a Hunter?"

"I know I can become a Hunter! When I do Fido I swear I'll make you pay for the crimes that you and other nobles have committed." Said Thomas.

"You'll be dead before you could make any real difference." Fido responded as he punched Thomas.

Thomas quickly did his best to counterattack, landing a single blow to the nose. Fido panicked as blood gushed from his nose. Thomas quickly took advantage of Fido's state of mind attacking him ferociously. One punch after another Fido quickly fell to his knees.

"Stay back! I'll report you to the guards." Fido threatened.

"After what you people did to my friend? After you brutally tortured him just for kicks? The guards will thank me." Said Thomas. His cold eyes penetrating into Fido's heart.

Thomas grabbed Fido by his collar. Fido quickly countered by shoving a snowball in Thomas's face.

"I enjoyed it. I wait for the day that I can do the same to you Thomas". Said Fido as he retreated towards the crowd.

Thomas missed his chance. He didn't fret, he knew that he would have another. Thomas hated the nobles. They did whatever they pleased. Not even the guards could arrest them without loosing their jobs in the process. They literally had everyone in the palm of their hand. Thomas sat in the corner wall of one of the village's warehouses. There, Thomas had the building next to it to block the cold wind from hitting his bare open skin.

Thomas noticed a man holding his infant in his arms which reminded him of his parents. They were killed during a bandit raid when Thomas was only just a toddler. Thomas remembered very little about his parents, not knowing if he had a happy family or not. He had to live on the streets at the age of five only two years before the orphanage ran out of funding to keep the place open. Most of the orphans died soon after. No one could afford to help anyone, not while the nobles were in charge.

Thomas was never told his real name. He had only just recently started to call himself Thomas after his friend was murdered by the nobles when trying to steal food to live for a few more days. He couldn't forget the condition his friend was left after the nobles had finished their torture. His face was barely recognizable as his skin was mauled. His fingers broken and his legs cut from his body. Thomas face reddened the more he thought about it. Thomas punched the ground before finally cooling himself.

Thomas walked around the village. Passing the town square with the gigantic clock tower. Everywhere he looked he saw a villager accompanied by another. Two in particular smiled and laughed as they bought and browsed in the market. They were poor by the obvious torn clothing they wore, but were exceptionally happy. Except Thomas. Being alone and seeing their happiness saddened him. He ran. Holding his tears back as he distanced himself from the cheery villagers that depressed him. He envied them. Envied the way they can be so happy, even in difficult times. He knew it was because they have each other. Someone to share the burden with. Thomas no longer has anyone.

He looked back noticing that the time was approaching noon. He wiped away his tears walking towards a house that sat on the south west corner of the village. Thomas started to climb. Placing his feet and hands on the small openings in the walls, reaching the top. Thomas wiped the last of his tears and waited as the clock drew closer to noon.

It rang, and like a rehearsed scene the lovely gal from behind one of the canopied window got into position. Thomas giggled as he watched her undress. Thomas with all his free time during the summer found the perfect angle to see inside her room. She would always change around this time into one of her large beautiful dresses. Her lovely curvy body mesmerized Thomas.

His perverted nature was common among most young boys his age. However Thomas, whenever he was caught, would call it research.

Usually he would get away with the excuse, but only from the lazier group of guards. The well rounded guards like Captain Wood, if he was ever caught by him, would immediately chase him down through every corner of the village.

Satisfying his perverted nature Thomas laid on the roof looking up to the clouded sky. He closed his eyes. Thinking of the great tales passed through the ages of heroic Hunters conquering evil foes.

The amount of strength their magic gives them to complete their bounty. Thomas thought of Aedre. A female Hunter who fought and killed the Great Elf king during the Human-Mystical beast war. The latter being the strongest elf mage in history. One by the name of Alexander defeated a vampire that's been killing villagers and travelers that visited the Dark Woods south of the village.

Thomas wants to be like them. He wanted the life and glory that it offered. But to be a Hunter one needs magic running through their blood, which Thomas does not have. Unlike the elves, vampires, and orcs who have an affinity for magic, humans with this affinity are limited to a few.

His stomach growled. Thomas could no longer handle his hunger. He had to steal. After Thomas died stealing from the rich, Thomas grew fearful of dying the same way. His friend was mauled by them. They had no sympathy for him. They just laughed and continued their torture. Finally when they stopped Thomas could no longer recognize him. Thomas no longer cared. If stealing from the rich was his only sin then he would do it.

Thomas made his way to the O'neils fruit stall. Usually Mr. O'neil would be half asleep waiting for someone to buy his overpriced fruits. Thomas noticed a figure next to Mr. O'neil, it was his son, Fido! Fido was playing with his cleaned wound, bored from the lack of customers.

Arrgh! How am I gonna do this? Thomas thought, scratching his head in annoyance from behind the house.

With little education he wasn't always able to make a well thought out plan, especially with his empty stomach. The girl Thomas was peeping on not too long ago approached the stall. Mr. O'neil kindly greeted her as she browsed through his stall.

Thomas noticed the type of dress she was wearing. It was a huge type of dress that the nobles would wear that stretches a good few inches outwards making it extremely hard to approach the wearer. Thomas jumped with joy as he thought of the perfect plan.

The hard part would be getting the O'neil's to look the other way. Thomas leaned over, shoving snow aside and grabbing whatever rocks he could find.

Thomas made his way closer, but not too close that they would notice him. Getting behind a crate a few meters away from range. Mr. O'neils voice finally became audible. Thomas couldn't bare him bragging about his son's accomplishments. Most weren't impressive to begin with. Regardless, he made his way towards closer, hiding behind a wagon. Thomas looked at Fido as he aimed to hit him with the first rock.

Thomas threw the rock missing Fido, a foot too high. Thomas took a deep breath. He threw his second rock, accidentally hitting the young lady in the back. Thomas face flustered in embarrassment. He never thought himself of an awful shot. The young lady decided to take her leave. Thomas had to react quick and get this shot right. If he didn't he would starve. He stepped out of cover and threw the rock as hard as he could towards Fido, hitting him in the forehead.

Fido roared in pain. The young lady stayed her place and Mr. O'neil attended his son. Thomas quickly ran behind the Young lady's skirt. Thomas noticed her skirt was transparent at this distance. Thomas shrugged it off as food was the most important. Fido could still be heard complaining about the pain on his forehead. Thomas stomach growled once more. He quickly move around her skirt and snatched a handful of fruits.

Fido pushed his father off him as he tried to touch his wound, noticing Thomas.

"Father look there", he yelled.

Me. O'neil turned seeing Thomas run off into the village streets.

"Come back here you thief"! Yelled Mr. O'neil asked he ran towards Thomas.

Sweat dripped from the forehead of young Thomas. Usually it would take a bit longer to start sweating from exhaustion, but his malnourished body was nearing its limits. His breathing becoming heavy, his legs starting to fail him.

"I'm almost there", he muttered.

The villagers around him doubled in number. The road, houses, stalls moving in and out of his path causing him to believe that they were in front of him. He collapsed. The fat stall owner finally catching up to him grabbed Thomas by the hair, dragging him to the nearest ally. There he started beating Thomas

"You bloody no good for nothing sob. How dare you steal from my stall. Why wont you just die already"?

He couldn't speak or move, not that he wanted to anyways. His vision wasn't any better, the left eye just recently losing its light. The other only just responsive to his mental commands. The bitter cold snow freezing his limbs, and sucking up his splattered blood. Usually the other stall owners that Thomas stole from would leave him be after giving him a good beating. but yet, this one was different. He seemed to have a personal hatred for Thomas. He stopped. Showing signs exhaustion. He left Thomas alone for a good half hour leaving him to freeze up in the snow. On his return he wasn't alone. With him was his son.

"There you go son teach this peasant what happens when he messes with the O'neils". He said spitting on Thomas's lifeless face.

The boy, like his father was relentless. Thomas coughed up blood he didn't know he had. The kicks, and punches breaking his ribs. His lungs giving out. Thomas could feel himself dying. He could feel his soul coming out of him, ready for the afterlife.

Then it stopped. Mr. O'neil, and his son screaming in frustration in response to two mysterious figures.

"What are you doing? Do you know who I am? I'll have your balls for this", Mr. O'neil barked.

"Aaa shut it will ya? Your not in any position to make threats so longs we got your son by the throat", said the mysterious man. His accent not common with the people of the village.

Another man held Fido with a knife to his throat. Fido clearly wetting himself in fear. If Thomas wasn't so beat up he would've laughed at Fido.

"Alright what do you want? I'll give you anything just let my son go". Said Mr. O'neil, panicking as the taller man drew the knife closer to his son's throat.

The man barked at the O'neil. The conversation no longer being audible for Thomas, who was slowly loosing consciousness. Mr. O'neil left in a hurry coming back mere moments with some fruits and a pink jug.

The two strangers looked at each other before turning their attention back at the O'neil.

"Here's your fat son back. Remember if you tell any of the guards about this we're coming after you", said the second stranger.

Fido cried in his fathers arms. Mr. O'neil looked furious. A wealthy business owner humiliated by two mere men, but nonetheless he left with whatever pride he had left. Looking dissatisfied by not being able to beat Thomas any further.

"Ok let's heal the boy first". Said the second stranger as he removed his masked and revealed his dark skin and round face.

He quickly made Thomas drink as he grabbed the boy. Nothing happened. Thomas couldn't feel any different except for the feeling of time standing still. Then a surge of energy rushed through his body. Thomas never felt anything like it. The energy flowing through him felt like electricity. Soon his eye sight returned and even giving him more clarity than before. His broken ribs felt like it was glueing back together. In a matter of seconds the rest of his injuries healed. Thomas couldn't believe what just happened.

"Th... Th.. Thank you. Whoever you are". Said Thomas nervously.

It was silent. The two strangers looked at each other for a moment. The one who threatened Mr. O'neil took his mask off revealing his oblong shaped face. His hair being a dirty blonde color.

"Your welcome. The names Blake and my stoic friend here is Aakil". He said pointing at Aakil with his index finger.

Aakil was a giant. Dwarfing Thomas and Blake.

"I hope you feel better kid". Said Blake.

"Yes I feel great. Better than I have in years. Eh.. The names Thomas. And if I may ask.. Why did you save me"? Thomas asked.

Blake looked confused. He looked at Thomas serious only a moment before reverting back to his smile.

"It's only natural to help a kid from being abused isn't it?" Blake said, handing Thomas some food.

Thomas didn't resist, he grabbed the apple that was handed to him, and took a bite. He was right it was only natural to save a kid in trouble, something the villagers could not do if the nobles were the abuser.

"Blake we shouldn't be wasting anymore time here", Said Aakil. His voice being the deepest Thomas has ever heard.

"Alright. Hey, Thomas was it? You should head off home now." Said Blake, giving Thomas a hand up.

"Don't you worry about that. I'll let him stay at my place for a little while", said a third voice. Thomas spine shivered.

It was Captain Wood standing near the end of the alley. Captain wood being the only one close to Aakil's height.

"Don't worry I know him, he's the Captain of the guards". Said Thomas, dismissing the shiver from before.

"Great, then we'll leave him with you then". Said Blake as he tapped Aakil on the chest.

"I'll make sure he's safe from here". Said Wood with a mischievous grin on his face.

Comments & reviews · 3
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kevin25a
Review

This was a really good story but you did give a pretty obvious way to know what you plan to do to start the next chapter. It's alright when things aren't for certain, but Thomas should know what captain wood will do, and know that is not safe. Anyone who reads this would know that, anyone would no matter how stupid or naive even a child. The story IS good, but I think you really messed up by having Thomas go with cpt wood.

"Even a timid cat becomes a lion if you kick it enough"
"Even the most primitive animal knows to back off if it is dangerous outmatched"
You should consider the meaning behind those two quotes in the future when you plan to end a chapter like that.

I have no problem with the story in general, just how you ended it so poorly.

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Haitianami Comment

This novel was spectacular and like the views before me awfully outstanding. I thought it was very creative and well detailed. Absolutely no errors and kept me intrigued. Keep up the good work!

User avatar
Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review · Fri Mar 13, 2015 8:54 pm

If I may be so bold,

This is an excellent beginning. The details of Thomas's situation let the reader sympathize with him, putting you in a good position to drive the plot forward.

The setting is eventually clear, and the characters that need to be are likable and realistic. However, I noticed a distinct lack of color. You do fine without it, but adding colors would make the setting superb.

The only other critique I have is the overuse of calling Thomas by name. Thomas, Thomas, Thomas. A simple "he" would suffice when he is alone. The audience's first guess with the pronoun is usually that it refers to Thomas, since the story is being told from his perspective. I myself try not to use the same character's name more than twice in a single paragraph. It's a small thing, but it could become bothersome as the story progresses.

Overall, this is a good and workable start, with only minor issues. Have fun writing the rest. I look forward to it.


-Chaser

Color? You mean telling what color some key objects are? I understand. Thanks I really edited and edited and edited multiple times for it to get to where it is. I'm glad it paid off. Thanks again for reviewing.



Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge!
— April, Parks & Rec