How could a hearing mother teach a deaf-blind girl how to read?
Before the lights turned out in that cold, blank white room, I thought of such ways that my once-mother Anne would have found it her exact duty to care for Helen. Yes, she was aimless, but by all means, developmentally fit before such teachings, but now Helen, that woman, suddenly became a lucky story in fields of gloom, that a mother’s love could fight against Hellen’s own oppressive state of mind. Now, she was deemed as gifted as a Christmas present, a story of such gifts being reality. Or perhaps, Helen’s own mind, now capitalized in books, wasn't ever her own. Anne was just the one taking over her seemingly feeble mind.
But Hellen is now as gone as the turbulent wind. My name is Janice. And I am the forgotten child of Anne Sullivan. There is no story.
Not anymore.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Hey there Purple! I was intrigued by your description of this, so I thought I would drop by for a quick read/review.
are very powerfully done, with the short sentences giving a very definitive end.I'm always impressed when writers can create something so compelling in so few words and I think you've really achieved that here. The question posed at the beginning is good for drawing the reader in and making them read on. The last few lines
The longer sentences in the second paragraph were the only thing I would suggest could be improved. They well conveyed the run-on thoughts of the narrative voice but at times I found them too long for a piece that's so short, because I didn't get a chance to slip into the narrative and get used to them.
Hope this was helpful!
Icy
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the frightening S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - These are the thoughts of Janice Sullivan, Anne’s imaginary daughter. She reflects on the impact her mother had with Helen, and how they both achieved so much while she simply grew alone…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I’ve got no recommendations to make for this story. If you’d like to continue this I’d be more than happy to read the rest but this is fine.
Chocolate Bar - I like how you described Helen being treated as a symbol more than a person. The way that Janice talks kind of sounds like she wasn’t given a lot of attention from Anne because Anne spent most of her time with Helen and Janice sort of grows up in a blurred corner, living in gray areas and fading into obscurity. This reads like something a person would find if they dug deep into documents and stumbled upon this. It’s intriguing.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, an interesting little short story on the thoughts of Anne’s fictional daughter (or not, who knows) and how she viewed Helen’s (Anne’s) accomplishments. In the midst of all the praises, people forget that people are people, not symbols. Also, it’s not all sunshine and roses for everyone involved. The story is done, there’s nothing left to tell anymore. The finality is clear, the party is over.
I wish you a marvelous day/night! :>