I sit motionless on my side of the velvet, green table. Anxiety gives me an unsympathetic glace and Suffering has a full deck of cards. Directly in front of me is Affection, from whom I receive a light scoff as I sink into my chair. Affection places a card in the center, stating "Forming Emotions". My senses are heightened as I know who will go next and I let out a sigh. Anxiety plays the card of "Worrying". Suffering takes their chance and slams down a card. Suffering deceptively lifts their hand, knowing they have all of our attention. "Past Regret" is stated in bold.
The rules tell me it's now my turn to react to these. I analyze my hand. "Risk It", "Cut", "Panic", "Eat Stress Away", "Write", "Paint", "Complain", "Be Positive", "Be Negative", and "Ignore Until Forgotten" lie in my deck. I choose to ignore and Anxiety lets out a giggle. They place down a card that says "Comparison". I've been down this path before, and I want it to end. All my life, I compare myself with others, or others with others, and it's a twisted cycle. But I can only work with what I've been dealt.
Suffering lays down the card of "Destructive Tendencies". I dig my nail into my palm. Affection puts a card on the table, which declares that my "Sexual Impulses Increase". Anxiety bursts out into nervous laughter at that one. I lean forward with my elbows on the table, and rest my face on my inner palm. I try to convey that I am unamused and unfased by all this, but I can't deny it. I try to stuff all this emotion inside me and bury it, but it's all too real. My emotions have minds of their own.
The game continues and I have to make a quick decision. I impulsively slam down "Risk It" and Suffering doesn't try to hide their sadistic laugh. They casually place "Rejection" on the table. Anxiety smiles at their hand and tops Suffering's card with "Blaming Self". Predictable. I feel a sudden wave of disappointment, a tsunami of pain, and feeling worthless. Thoughts flood my head and I wince, on the verge of having my veins pop.
Affection stares at me and inhales sharply. They don't smirk or giggle like the others. Affection looks at me like they will leave the game after being betrayed, repeatedly. The only problem is that this game continues as long as I breathe. And as much as Affection wants to leave, it can't. Affection balances my two sorrows and determines who wins or loses.
Even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it, Affection is always there. They give me a warm smile from across the table and puts down a card. "Acceptance". A weight lifts off my shoulders and the other emotions start to get up. They all don't say a word and they push in their chairs. Acceptance walks away from the game, leaving me in silence.
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140,925 Literary Works • 673,749 Reviews
Hi, Purple. This is Pinkie here for a review.
This story is amazing. You did an amazing job on this story. The characters aka the emotions are very interesting. Their personalities does fit with their names which made this story very good. The descriptions are very good. I can see the characters are playing a game in head while reading this wonderful masterpiece. Also, I didn't see any errors on here which it is a good thing. Anyway, this is a wonderful masterpiece. I hope you write more. Well, have a nice day!
Awesome Job!
Cheers
Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13
I love the plot of this story so much. It's so creative, and it's also very well-written, which is a pretty rare combination. I liked how it ended on a positive note, despite the sad beginning.
The ending was slightly confusing--I wasn't quite sure what the feelings 'walking away from the game' meant. (I thought they were stuck playing the game forever?) That was my only problem, however!
I wish the story had been longer--I wanted to get to know the main character.
I think it's up to the reader to decide what happened to the narrator. Accepting your everflowing thoughts and emotions and problems can mean being at peace or finding an alternate solution. So, you can think what you want. I originally imagined the narrator killing themselves and finding acceptance in death. However, I as the writer could equally imagine them letting go of everything. Finding mental nirvana, so to speak. If they accept that they might have to deal with those emotions throughout their lives, they might not view life as such a pressure-inducing game where they feel like they have already lost. So, my friend, you decide
This was an amazing way to convey life. Stunning. Breathtaking. The only thing I can ask of you is to write more!
This is quite the original story idea. Like most short stories, this could easily become a full fledged novel. Despite the short length, the personality of each character was adequately explained and left room for the reader to fill in the gaps. While in the begining the odds were stacked against the main character, the conclussion made for good closure. This story is just more proof that there will be always be new ideas to turn into stories.
Thanks!
OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS. THIS IDEA. IS. BRILLIANT. MAKE IT INTO A MOVIE OR A NOVEL OR SOMETHING I WOULD READ THIS FOREVER.
Few nitpicks.. such as grammar issues and confusing sentences, BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PROMISE ME YOU'LL MAKE IT INTO A NOVEL.
Okay, I have a suggestion. Instead of using "they" for each character/emotion, develop them into a character. Suffering can be a girl, Anxiety can be a boy, Affection can be gender queer... Give the drawing a little more shading..
" "Be Negative", and "Ignore Until Forgotten"" Ignore until forgotten should be in italics, just to keep it consistent.
"isappointment, a tsunami of pain, and feeling worthless, Thoughts flood my head and I wince"
Should be:
"isappointment, a tsunami of pain, and feeling worthless. Thoughts flood my head and I wince"
For the last paragraph, perhaps change the transition, as it is an awkward one, currently. Suggestion:
"I watched Affection with hopeful, pleading eyes. Even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it, Affection is always there. They give me a warm smile from across the table and puts down a card. "Acceptance". A weight lifts off my shoulders and the other emotions start to get up. They all don't say a word and they push in their chairs. Acceptance walks away from the game, leaving me in silence."
Also, I kind of don't get why acceptance left.. like what happened, man? I thought you were my bff? And I thought acceptance was just played, so it was supposed to stay?
Or was it symbolism or something... Sorry.
EITHER WAY MAKE THIS INTO A NOVEL OR ELSE... OR ELSE I WILL CRY BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER.
Love you <3