Young Writers Society

This is a beautiful piece of work even though it's about death. I love the ending it just explains everything without doing so. *clicks the like button a million times*

Hello! I love this poem, your boyfriend is evidently a talented poet!
There are a couple of things I would suggest, just as an opinion. First the way you change tenses is a little confusing. (Excuse me saying you, force of habit) You could rectify this by separating them with a line break, or by changing the first two lines, great as they are, to past tense.
And secondly I would recommend you do one of two things with the last bit. You either move the last line break to just after "decided". Or you repeat the words "to knock" thrice, making it ever so slightly onomatopoia (which I can't spell) with the repetition resembling strikes on a door.
By the way I like the way Death's Door is a proper noun. It slightly personifies the metaphor.
Anyways, keep up the good work (thinks of name for Purple's boyfriend) um, Indigo!
Take That You Fiend!

Okay so first off i can see why you liked this its so dark and enticing it leaves the reader changed as well. Now the question i had was when he wrote this pome were you together and were you depressed and he was trying to get you back to him? or were you just said and could not see reason? unless if he's death and by loving and being at his door you are dying. Or could it be you went for a different guy? these are the questions i had while reading. I felt quite a connection with this poem because it reminded me and was very relatable about me and my ex. Very well done



I agree with sunshine " On Death's Door."
- ok, some of this makes no sense. You guys are not just friends anymore(like, boyfriend and girlfriend) because you knocked on deaths door. What? Is he Death and you knocked on his door. How does knocking on deaths door have to do with your relationship with him?
Also, door doesn't need to be capitalized.

Besides the confusion, I thought this poem was well written and flowed beautiful with passion and joy. "

Hi,
here's a quick review. I do agree with LGF. This is awkward, you know, reviewing you BF's work.....

This was lovely. Short, sweet, yet meaningful.
Hers are some things that should be clarified of fixed:

"We were friends, but that is no more

Because you decided to knock

On Death's Door."
- ok, some of this makes no sense. You guys are not just friends anymore(like, boyfriend and girlfriend) because you knocked on deaths door. What? Is he Death and you knocked on his door. How does knocking on deaths door have to do with your relationship with him?
Also, door doesn't need to be capitalized.

Besides the confusion, I thought this poem was well written and flowed beautiful with passion and joy.

Good job, er, to your boyfriend I guess and I hope to see more of his/your work.

Hi Purple, LGF here for a quick review.

It's kind of weird, me reviewing you when your boyfriend wrote it, but I'll do it anyway.

I thought this really was a lovely poem, with a flow that sounded like the lyrics to a slow love song. The rhyming was great as well. The meaning was beautiful and the words that where chosen where perfect. Not hugely complicated which was good as it didn't way the poem down, and it was simple but with a clear meaning.

One small nit pick;

Because you decided to knock

On Death's Door.

I don't think you need the capital d's.

Anyway, congratulate your bf on the poem, cause it was beautiful;


LGF