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Lost Girl

by PuckReusken


Lost Girl

Do I wanna live like this forever? Is this what I want? Not doing anything and just letting my

parents pay for everything. I looked out the window and I saw a girl laying on the ground and

freezing, she had nothing… Maybe I could give her some food. It was already dark when I

came outside. I gave her the food and started a conversation. I asked her “ What’s your

name?” she answered “I have no name, not that I remember. My parents kicked me out off

house when I was 7. That’s my story. What’s your name?” I answered “My name is Ling.”I

don’t know why I came up with it maybe it’s a bad idea, but I asked her if she wanted to stay at

my home. “I have a big closet with toys and books you can sleep there, she hugged me and

came with me.” This was one of my first times outside. The fresh air did me so good the feeling

that you could run away with out bumping in a wall. I feld so free. I opened the door and I

heard my mom's voice, she was screaming “Ling where were you!!”. I pushed the girl under

the table. Before I knew she walked upon me she slepped me, it burned I felt a tear but didn’t

want to cry for more problems. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I screamed from pain “Let me do

what I want, it’s my life, I can make my own choices, give me some freedom.” She answered

“Don’t talk to me like that!” She walked away and said “You’re just a girl, nobody cares about

you.” The pain was like a knife in my throat. When my mom was gone I sneaked to my room

with the homeless girl. When we came in the closet, where she could sleep in, we talked for a

while. I wanted to give her a name, something special, Guang; it stands for light and glory. I

fell asleep next to her in the closet. When I woke up she was gone. I looked for her everywhere

until my housekeeper ran into me, she talked really fast and said “They found the girl in your

closet they are planning to kill her. Hurry up maybe you can still find her.” I ran so hard, I

couldn’t breath anymore. When I came in the backyard I heard a gunshot and heard someone

screaming. When I came at the place where she was shot, she was hit in her leg, I thought this

was it but I heard another shot and this time I saw her with my own eyes falling on the ground

dead… My heart stopped beating it was like the whole world was paused. I cried and

screamed. How could my parents do this? Are they doing this just because she is different?

How can I live with them? Can’t I choose my own friends and does everyone needs to be the

same as them? I ran to my room and packed a bag. I don’t know what I was doing, maybe this

was a big mistake. But I ran away. The first few days it wasn’t that hard. I wanted to go up to

the mountains. But after a few weeks it got harder I began running out of food, people looked

weird at me. I felt lonely. Would nobody care about me? Nobody is looking for me. I couldn’t

talk to anyone, it was like I was invisible to everyone. Along the way hiking up the mountains I

came at a little Village, I looked for food. I saw a guy around my age sitting next to the road,

his head was shaved, I asked him if there was any food growing around here. He ignored my

question and asked “Hi what’s your name?” I answered “Ling, what’s your name?” He said

“My name is Bojing, I’ve been homeless to, along the way running away from a marriage, after

that I got sick and a Buddhist took care of me, I learned the religion and traditions.” There was

a silence and he said “So where are we waiting for, I needed to show you around?” He bought

food for me and we talked for a while. He started talking to me about the buddhism. At first I

didn’t know what it was but he told me everything. He said “Buddhism was a new start, it was

hard but now I know how I want to live my life, the world opened in front off my eyes.” That is

exactly what I wanted. Knowing who I am and how I want to live, living in freedom and peace.

“I want to follow the buddhism and be a buddhist can you teach me how?” I said. This was the

best plan I ever had. Finding my peace and the real me. He loved to teach me but first I

needed to shave my head if I wanted to practice the religion in a temple. He said that he could

do it for me. He saved my head and I almost looked at myself like a boy. He said that it would take a 

few days to climb up the mountain to the temple in those days he could learn me everything about 

buddhism. He told me one quote that buddha told: “The mind is everything. What you think you 

become.” He began with Learning the basic Buddhist terminology. This will make it much easier to 

understand everything you will read, since many Buddhist terms can be very unfamiliar, especially to 

Westerners.He also teached me about the four noble truths. 1. The truth of suffering (dukkha). 2. The 

truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya). 3. The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha). 4. The truth 

of the path that frees us from suffering (magga). And he also learned me about reincarnation and 

nirvana. Buddhists believe beings live multiple lives. Once a being dies, they are born into a new life, 

and this cycle of living and dying will only cease once nirvana is attained.A being can be reborn into 

the human, heavenly, animal, hell, asura, or hungry ghost realms. It was time to sleep so we made a 

fire. It was so cold I was freezing I was shaking. Bojing saw me and he walked upon me he sat next 

to me trying to get me warm. We fell asleep. When I woke up he gave me some berries close to the 

place there was a lake to clean ourselves. We were almost at the top. He also teached me about 

understanding karma. He said “Do your best to not kill any living creature, be honest, not consume 

intoxicants, do not steal, and do not commit sexual misconduct. If you break the precepts, simply 

repent, and do your best to keep upholding them.” When we walked in a path with trees all around us 

the sun was shining through the leaves it was amazing when we came out off the beautiful path we 

were on the top of the mountain and we looked down on a big lake and beautiful trees. It started 

snowing a little bit it was perfect. The smell of flowers, trees and freedom. I felt so peaceful like my 

life has never been better. When I turned around I saw this beautiful temple, red and gold with 

beautiful paintings on it. He showed me around and when we came out the temple at the other side 

there was a little village, not big but full of joy. Little kids were playing in the snow and they all looked 

so happy. Bojing walked me to a house and introduced me to a whole family. When we walked 

outside and he brought me to this place with a beautiful waterfal. Do all you can to make your 

dreams come true.


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6 Reviews


Points: 288
Reviews: 6

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Sun Apr 17, 2016 7:18 am
mysterygirl wrote a review...



Hey, PuckReusken! This story was extremely captivating and I found it rather haunting (and charming at the same time) to be honest. I really liked the detail you put into the story, and how you mostly "showed" me what was happening instead of "telling" me. (like when you wrote, "The pain was like a knife in my throat." I really liked that) The plot of the story was great too, with how the girl chose to think for herself and find a new meaning to life. I only have a few problems with your story. First, there were some grammatically incorrect sentences in the story. I think they were just typos, but you would sometimes misspell a word or misplace a quotation mark. It didn't affect the story, but did kind give me a hard time reading it. Second, you did add great detail, but also kind of lacked detail in other sections (that is, some sentences were rather vague). Most of it was full of detail, but there were some parts of the story that I couldn't really understand because of the lack of detail. Besides those two problems, this story was awesome! I particularly liked the main character's relationship with the girl at the beginning. Her death was very haunting. Anyway, great job and keep writing!

~Trish




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Points: 300
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Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:16 pm
sunnyboo says...



this story is soooo good and i love the journey that ling goes on
your historical facts really help explain buddhism
i like your characters a lot and bijong especially




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130 Reviews


Points: 467
Reviews: 130

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Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:45 pm
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AutoPilot wrote a review...



Hello!

This story is very interesting, but there are a few things about it that threw me off. First of all, how you formatted this is hard to read. I think that you need to take out the double space and separate it into paragraphs. Your spelling and all is okay, but there were a couple things I caught.

My parents kicked me out off house when I was 7.


I read this as 'My parents kicked me off house-'. Also, unless it is a huge number like four billion, eight thousand, four hundred and eighty-seven, which gets hard to type, then you just type the number. So just a couple of typos right there, it should be:

My parents kicked me out of the house when I was seven.


Also:
That’s my story. What’s your name?


I feel like this should have a comma between the two, not a period.

The whole thing is harder to review because it is difficult to read. Would you mind if I re-formatted it and sent it to you so that you can see what I mean?

Throwing all that aside, if this were easier to read it would be more interesting. Great job on your ideas though!

Nice work and

Keep on Writing




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Points: 417
Reviews: 4

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Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:59 pm
duringlondon wrote a review...



I like how you were very descriptive, I feel like maybe you could add some more dialogue like more show and not tell. There was also a lot of spelling and grammar errors which could have been fixed if this story was properly checked over. I didn't understand the last part either, why was she at a waterfall? This part felt to me like it could have been replaced by a better fitting setting. I also didn't understand why they killed Guang. Where her parents just horribly rude? You need to explain these things. Great story overall!




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Points: 417
Reviews: 4

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Mon Mar 14, 2016 8:19 pm
duringlondon says...






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Points: 365
Reviews: 3

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Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:13 pm
Archerstone64 wrote a review...



I liked the descriptiveness you used in most of the story like describing the temple and mountain. Though I wonder if you could have added more detail about her life when she was rich: items, backstory, parents jobs ext. I also liked how you talked a lot about Buddhism I really learned from this story. I also wonder weather you could have described her setting better like town she lived in maybe if she had never seen the outside wouldn't that make her very vulnerable to the cold? Other than these minor adjustments your story was really good.




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Points: 291
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Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:39 pm
Sieanna says...



I really like your story, but I wonder if maybe you could make it into paragraphs? Paragraphs make it easier for the reader to stay with the book and it may seem like to much if it's all scrunched together like. There was a couple of spelling errors here and there, but besides that I loved everything in your story!




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Points: 291
Reviews: 1

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Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:39 pm
Sieanna wrote a review...



I really like your story, but I wonder if maybe you could make it into paragraphs? Paragraphs make it easier for the reader to stay with the book and it may seem like to much if it's all scrunched together like. There was a couple of spelling errors here and there, but besides that I loved everything in your story!




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Points: 452
Reviews: 4

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Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:25 pm
Marishke wrote a review...



I really like the intro sentence, it makes me really curios and leaves me wondering what is going to happen. I wonder if you could check your spelling in the sentence, "Before I knew she walked upon me she slepped me, it burned I felt a tear but didn’t want to cry for more problems.". I like how descriptive you were in this sentence, "When we walked in a path with trees all around us the sun was shining through the leaves it was amazing when we came out off the beautiful path we were on the top of the mountain and we looked down on a big lake and beautiful trees.". I also like the moral of the story, of following your dreams.





Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says, 'I'm possible!'
— Audrey Hepburn