Published February 27, 2005
2-9-05
SSSSSSSHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUT!
As the pure yellowy sun strikes low,
SSSSSSSHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUT!
Eyeline dribbling to the snow.
SSSSSHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUT!
Whiny moments crumble away.
S! H! O-U-T today!
SSSHHHHOUUUUUUT!
The heavens, they spin.
SHOUT!
Life rebegins (intot he snow
of death-bird moanings
rrehashed burnings,
shou-shou-SHOUT!
Cry!
yellow Earth’s rebuke,
Singe the stars
with a hero’s broken arm.
***whisper***
star-spangled dew (powns on the floor,
blonds crying “EW!”)
These anaranjado slices
with breath painted blue
whisper this dog bark
back through and through.
And I’m nuts at last, and
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHOUUUUUUUUUT!
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Canary word: Present
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141,419 Literary Works • 674,398 Reviews
If you say it to yourself, it's actually kind of cool.
With imagination you can do anything...*pulling a spongebob on you*
though some of it was like...wow...your brain doesn't really know how to process it.
I agree with everone else, this gave me a headache and it was very confusing. I mean, what was this about? I don't unterstad it at all.
Wow....sorry, but that was very confusing. Some lines didnt make any sense, and it just gave me a headache trying to actually visualize them. And every time you said "SHOUT!" with different spacings it was just too confusing. I dont think you had, or didnt get your point through to the reader about the poem. But it was an experiment so I respect that, but I don't think it worked out too well, and that happens.
I agree with Fire, the poem does scream at you, but unlike him, I like the senstion.
A very very cool poem, but it does need to be spell-checked.
[quote]S! H! O-U-T today! [/qoute]
I didn't like this line though; for some reason, I could see cheerleaders cheering this at a basketball game.
It was an experiment. Yeah, sorry about spelling mistakes. I thought I had ironed them out, guess not. Um, okay, I want to communicate. Read it, in your head. Hear your voice say it there. And I'm not sure what it was about; I just was walking around, and it was busy, and I suddenly had to write it, so I did.
This poem threw me there isn't any other poems like this on here!
At first I though no I don't like the 'SHOUUUUT' but I begin to warm to the idea
and the whole of the poem. You had some great visual words in there however it did sound like it could be a rock song or something.
This whole stanza made no sense to me!?!?! is it just me? There's alot of work to be done on spelling etc and trying to make it make a little more sense.
wu
That just gave me a headache. If it was your intentional to cause me pain, well done. I'm not referring to the just reading it, but when you glance at it the whole poem screams at you. It's scary. Erm..I like it, I guess.
Is this visual poetry? Just wondering how you would attempt to read this. I don't know if I love it personally but it's certainly interesting and differs from a lot of other stuff posted on tyws. It would be interesting if you could develop the poem into even more of a feel of a shout without necessarily having the repeated Ss and Hs and so on.