me, myself, & I (places I keep returning to)

Yes, it's meant to end like that! Is that too abrupt?

Hello Prudence!
Saw your poem in the Green Room and showed up to rectify that :3

I am intrigued by the formatting. Is this maybe a reference to the grass pattern in a meadow? Or maybe a meandering path?
The first stanza talks about some patches (the grass doesn’t grow as well, + where I would curl up on my side), so maybe these are the breaks in the lines?

Hmm I feel like “hurriedly” doesn’t quite fit the rhythm of the rest of the stanza? :3

I find it very curious how you convey melancholy and loss with “it’s just gray now” despite some of the things that are missing being “cigarette butts” I know they are a standin for a group getting together, but smoking is always something negative to me. Still, I felt sad for them being gone, so good job!

I love the phrase “child-sized grief”, and I suppose it means mourning what once was, what one once cherished in childhood that either feels different now bc we grew up as ppl or bc the place itself is radically different now, even without the added nostalgia?

Ohh and at first I thought maybe they lost their mother (aka she died) but now it kinda sounds like maybe the mother left their live because she couldn’t accept who their child really is?

Ahh I like this abt complementary, not matching colours. Oh what a beautiful image, a beautiful daydream. Now I wanna know why it didn’t work out between them.

Now, here “my mind when [space] I tried to write” I feel like for the first time I might get some sort of symbolism and that this space means the void she left behind. Did she literally disappear or did she just distance herself from the narrator?

Hmmm I do like the turn of phrase abt sprouting from the floor. Did the grandma keep them small and hidden? Because sprouting usually means finally finding your own place and pace to grow…?
But it seems to me that they did prefer their grandma’s way over whatever the grandpa’s new wife does, considering they are afraid of her disapproval, even in spirit?

A very thought-provoking poem!

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wow. i'm blown away, this is really poignant. you've captured these moments and these places really well, i can almost feel what it was like to be there. i don't read much poetry so i don't know what the space or formatting is meant to do, but i like them! idk it's just!! there's so much quiet melancholy and yearning in this, it's like flipping through tv channels while half asleep except the channels are scenes from someone else's life. the line "-wondering why there is a child-sized grief in my arms and a mother-shaped hole in my head" in particular hit hard, like DAMN. i'd say my favorite part is IV, the build-up and payoff (or what little there is) is really good. i also love the wording of "& then I sprouted from the floor" as to say you grew up. good soup.