...

i am really glad that you are pushing the envelope in writing styles... but i think sometimes it helps to hold back a little. this is too densely strange and kind of.. superior sounding. i don't want to come off like i disliked it or would necessarily change the whole thing around. i like the fact that this is different. i mean i really appreciate that and wish there was more of that around here. i would, however, like i said, hold back. just a little. think a little about the reader and try and make it the teeniest bit more accessible. (you don't want to veer into sounding pretentious!) (right?)

Hey Yote Flakes!

Well. Well well well. My first prose review since years and I have the nerve to pick this up. This definitely tops your list of experimentations on a scale of experimentation. Wheeeeerre indeed do I start? Perhaps, the question is where did you start?

You know, it's funny, but I've always wanted to sit down one day and just let loose all the compressed format stories that endlessly smoulder and smelt in every escapists head. I definitely have to consider that this might be what you have done up there. You realise that someone could actually read this thoroughly and tried to find patterns in it that would disclose the true extent of your insanity and prokaryotism. But then again, I must consider that this was all actually an analogy for some country's history, or the history of humanity or some experience of yours? Hmmmmm.....an analogy? Good god, I hope it's not. I'll treat it as a kind of freestyle fantasy.

Considering that you are at least a very smart prokaryote, I am almost certain there could be something about human behaviour in their. Let's see...breaking it into parts we find--Part Where Fox Makes Entrance, Part of Suspension Where Villagers Prepare, Part of Discontentment, Bakery Invasion and Squeal of First Real Encounter (and then Prokaryote's arm comes to mess things up?), Part of Foxes Capture, Gobbling Up of Housecat and the Chase of Fatty McMuffin, Part of Successful Chase, Saviour-Hopes Dashed and Feast of the Playpen, Part of Nostalgia For the Good Old Days and Present Day Gore and finally, Part Where Fox Goes Back. So, how do you feel Prok? Amused? Satisfied how you're making fun of us with these things, huh? No really, what were you thinking when you posted this.

In frank terms, the main enjoyment came from the turns of phrases, the wacky sentence structures and the wackier words. The themes and possible messages that float around, while sometimes thought-provoking, do not give much except for a decided ominous feeling (this being perhaps the most worthwhile success here). The Fox is a strange character, a kind of anti-hero, who yearns for food, meat, baked stuff, fat people and yet stands for justice as he eats up the greedy guy perhaps in revenge for not having got a donut himself. The housecat, I'm afraid, was a rather unfortunate creature to kill, but maybe it was a protective spirit for the humans Fox was out for.

And now some wacky highs--

"A plump hobbit wobbles out of his hut and gives the fox the evil eye. Fox stops. Fox waits. Fox waits. Fox waits. Fox patient."

"Small one says they should build a grand net to capture all the bad and then they can cook it over a fire and they can eat it right up."

"Wolves dance in their dreams and gobble up the outliers."-----Malcolm Gladwell books? Or just straggling sheep?

"Sliming towards this place of yummery, he is undetected by the villagers, who have mistakenly slept in."----Slimmied and sonder are kickass words.

"He glances at the fox and gives a frightened squeal. How sonder. Fox bares his yellow teeth and demands a recount."---- 'a recount'? Fox runs for President? or Village Chief? A recounting of a story? The associations in the goddarn thing are endless.

"Smells emit, drool slops upon your shoes and barista clothes, and you give a yelp, dismayed by the turn of phrase. Wobble wobble goes the cobble, hobbits: they bounce back and examine the damage."------this really shoes some depth charging to some ineffable levels.

"...and gazes at: fat. You. Fatty McMuffin can't be bothered with fear or pain..."
---real climactic.

-----the petrodosinons are by far the most relatable characters

"Sun is high in the sky. It is yellow and white and gives you light. Fox is a ray, propelled by the vision of ancient shamans begging for celestial help. Divine intervention assists only those who cannot hack the natural way of life and death. Fox shuns the mental order aside and catches his prey, the morsel that rests on the dirt with the mud and pigs, who doesn't so much as want to know why."-----very striking para. Almost makes you appear like an authority on ancient civilisations, the primal, and some weird side show of psychology.

Aaargh. Enough. Forgive me for reading too deeply. Kudos for trying to warn YWSers against greed for coins and donuts. May you never develop a nucleus and cease being prokaryotic.

Peace,
The Plant.