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Thanks for the comments, everyone!

Light_Devil: The lowercase is intentional.

Bubs: Your criticism of the lowercase is duly noted. It was an experiment; I was attempting to convey a downbeat sense, rather slow and gloomy. I can definitely see how you associated it with emo blog posts. It's maddeningly difficult to set a mood without using the actual text of the story to show it. I wish writing wasn't so one-dimensional -- I want music.

I also had some other odd formatting, though I don't know how effective it would have been. Stupid YWS killed it. *shakes fist*

Cher:

My conclusion is that your brilliant ideas don't trust themselves.

I love the fairy tale idea of someone's fingers running away...

Dammit, Prok. Yes, I like it. And you are always such a surprising boy.

But I feel like there's something missing. The ideas are compelling, slightly [brilliant] and mostly fantastic. And yet I fear that the one thing that is missing is meant to be missing and that my pointing it out will be unfortunately useless. But it would awfully ridiculous if I were to withhold my possibly useless thoughts on the subject.

Anyhow, is this called dancing? Or is it called prior apologizing? Or maybe it is just how easy it is to cry when nothing is as wrong as it is right. Somehow that seems pertinent.

My conclusion is that your brilliant ideas don't trust themselves. My criticism is that you don't take even your own delightful ideas seriously. And then your cynicism shrinks them and they run away into morbidity and mockery where they find themselves...unfindable.

I love the fairy tale idea of someone's fingers running away but then the sincerity of a fairy tale gets lost and I feel like part of the story has been eaten away. And I love the main character in that he fits in his wild world in a supremely ordinary way. His thoughts become ordinary because they fit everything around him and, of course, it is only in comparing that some things are odd and other ordinary. I suppose that goes without saying.

But that's just a bit. There is a tremendous amount of. Of. Of might be the word. There's just too much. And I'm a little bit frightened of it. But perhaps next time I read it I will find it infinitely different. Already happened once.

Good. I'll think about it a little more. And not in an agonizing way. I'll just wonder.

Hey, Pork! This looks really interesting, so let's dive into it.

1: Well, that was a... shocking story. I was expecting some humorous ending, but instead, I got this, and I'm pleased to say that I absolutely loved it. I loved your style, without the capitalization and things. It really just... I dunno. Brings life into the story? It's a truly heartless and heartfull story at the same time, if that's possible. I dunno. There really wasn't much to critique on. I do wish that we could know why the real fingers were bringing objects back to the man?

2. Uhhhh huhhh. So. Um. Let's see. *rereads* *gets the same reaction* so what is this story really about? Something about the imagination and reality and I really don't know what. It was entertaining to read, I guess. I hope your point was to make no sense. I don't really like this piece. Your writing is good. But all of the capitalization is really bothering me. It had no justice in this story. It worked just fine in the 1st story, but in this one? No way.

3. This one, I think, is my favorite. I really like it. It's kind of like... this crazy psycho genius. I like the descriptions you gave throughout this whole piece. It seemed really different, and yet satisfying at the end. I don't know what it is with these, Pork, but you've done wonderfully. And, again with the capitalization. i think that when we don't capitalize, it's because we have a low self esteem. i go emo with low self esteem. the smaller letters tell our brains, "hey you! this person doesn't think very high of themselves." yeah. that's what they think. so only use it if that person has a low self esteem (like the first story) or the lower cased letters really give no effect to the story at all, except degrade it a bit.

-jared

Hello, Pork! I will be your reviewer for today. Yay!

Now, this is an interesting way to write this. I won't say that I like it, but it does work, and considering the nature of these stories it probably works best.

That being said, the first snippet was my favorite one, mostly because I could follow along and figure out a little of what was going on. I was completely lost as far as the second one went though. I know that a security guard and a scientist were hanging out, but that's about it. The third one was much easier to understand, simply because I picked up on something that tied it to the first story, that whole "with a great trombone voice" bit.

All in all, I did like this story. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful or anything. Feel free to PM me if I wasn't clear on something, or if you simply want to complain at me. I'm cool with it. Good job.

Okay first things first; there were no capitals and it burnt my eyes out to read this. The decription was childish and there very barely any adjectives or adverbs.

I apologise if this is harsh, but it is true. Before you can expect anyone to take this post seriously fix up the un-capital letters and consider how to write grammatically correct.

Have A Nice Day.
Azrael