Published November 16, 2008
Outside the home,
leaves blew with great haste.
Knowing with winter coming,
there wasn't time to waste.
Rain fiercely howled,
and leaves painstakingly shook.
The animals sat and watched
inside their cozy nook.
The wind moaned and groaned,
the grass quaked and trembled.
Clouds gave way to blackness.
The whole world disassembled
Water grew icy,
and winds blew full force,
till all that was left,
was bare ground, icy and coarse.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I liked this. It wasn't so much screaming "Looky! Looky! Snow!" --as it was a subtle introduction to winter. Very nicely done. THe only thing I have a problem with issometimes you use a comma at the end of every line and sometimes you just drop it. Either way is fine--just keep it consistent.
I liked this! *claps eagerly like a little girl* Pretty, pretty!!
Now, I looked at the title and at the poem and think, "But they don't go together?"
It might be just me, but I would appreciate it if you explained the title to me.
The poem though was beautiful, and it flowed smoothly. It rhymed, and had good vocabulary and.....
Well, I could go on and on, but it was good!