Young Writers Society

It seems more like a message to a friend than a poem. Sense, you wanted this to be about your friend I think perhaps, a poem about what they mean to you or a poem describing your friend might be interesting. I did like the message that you were trying to give out though. I hope that helps good luck.

short and sweet, but lack of interest. it isnt very spasifac and doesnt hold any emotion is the words.

"Nobler and nobler,
my dearest friend,
be true to yourself
as you have been for me."

I found this part somewhat predictable and not very strong. its cute and nice but could use some "feeling" in the meaning.

"And you shall go without worries
or a care in the world,"

a little "stand off-ish"

"and you shall finish any task
that has been deemed impossible."

i liked this part. its strong and a good ending.

the ending of the poem was great. though i would recommend the you do a little re-writting for the begining. you can keep it short but you just have to be more "agressive". put more emotion and feeling into your words. you have great potential. keep it up!!

I agree with Niteowl on this when she says about the idea of writing a poem with the theme of friendship. While it is an althogether nice subject to write about, it's not majorly original.

I liked this; your flow was a bit off but the emotion through the piece worked well in such a small amount of lines. Normally I would say to add to the poem, but in this case, I dont think it would work for the better if you did make it longer.

There seems to be a lack of punctuation though, and that always stumps me. Perhaps try adding some in - a varied kind - so that your poem has pauses for effect and generally makes it easier to read.

Happy writing!

Hi Emma! Personally, I thought your poem was cute, but not super interesting. Friendship is a great topic for a poem, but vague expressions as you are currently using don't affect your reader much. I know that you may write poetry for yourself. I do as well. However, when posting on a site, you must keep the reader's interest level in mind. As it stands, this desperately needs expansion so the reader can feel your poem.

Now that said, I think you have a lovely theme going. I would simply use some more unique images and metaphors to add interest and a cool angle. Who is this "dearest friend"? Where is he/she going? How has he/she been true to you? How does this help them do impossible stuff? Think about these answers first, then think about how to express them.

So there's my opinion. The piece does have potential. Keep it up and happy editing!