Words Unspoken ~Dear You

Dear You,

It has been several weeks since I last wrote to you. I didn’t know what to
write about. About your songs that I keep listening to, day in and
day out, in a loop; about the forums that I regularly visit and write
in anonymously; about the fan fictions that I read about you; or
about the doodles that I make of your name in the corners of
notebooks while making futile attempts at studying, or about the
multiple times I gather courage to call you, but cut the call just
before it connects. I don’t know what stops me. Perhaps I fear
you have forgotten me in these three long years. I don’t want
to know it for real. I want to hear your voice, but I can’t
bear it if you don’t recognize mine.

People here adore
you, as they do in the rest of the country. Every café, every
shopping mall makes it a point to include your song in their daily
playlist. Every cab tunes in to listen to your interview. And the
neighbors include the latest updates about you in every chitchat. My
friends gossip about your fashion statements, latest hairstyle, your
country tours and your upcoming stage shows. It’s you and you
everywhere- in the entertainment page of every daily, in the catchy
pictures of the brands you endorse, and in the cover page of more
than half of the local magazines.

All this seems so
surreal. It takes me a while to believe that my childhood spent with
you was real. To remind myself that the face in the photographs I
possess is yours and the person I held hands with while walking
barefoot along the sea shore was you. Do you remember when the old
tree house came crashing down on me? You fussed over me as if I were
a hurt child unsure of myself. And remember the crowded bus we took
to the next town to visit mother. You kept me calm with your roughly
composed songs when my phobia took over. You weird intonations always
made me laugh. I still remember those songs. My favorite ones are
‘Echo’, ‘From the Terrace’ and ‘Will
you marry me?’ I wonder why you don’t include these in
any of your albums.

I cherish these
memories with all my heart. I wonder if you do too. I wonder when I
can see you again in person. Or if I can, at all.

Yours

With Love.

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Dear You,

My pillows are
all wet. My eyes are swollen. And I can’t seem to control
myself. I don’t know if it’s grief or happiness. I’m
confused. I’m not in my right mind perhaps.

 I can’t
seem to think anything other than your words. You said you already
had a special someone in your heart, in the chat show this evening,
when asked about the rumors and linkups. And the honesty and
intensity with which you said it… I don’t know what I
feel is hope or despair. Hope is a dangerous thing. I’m already
on the edges; I don’t want to crumble down. And I don’t
even have a choice. I can’t shut you out. It’s impossible
for me. Everything in this town reminds me of you.

I received one of
the few invitations to your concert that you had given away for free
for the townsfolk. I don’t know if I was meant to get one, or
it was by chance. Dear me, let’s try and believe the latter.
I’ve decided to go, though. I have decided to gather all my
courage and meet you this time. It shall take every ounce of my will
power to be in the crowd that’d be cheering you. But I will go,
or else, perhaps I won’t get a chance in future.

Waiting for the
days to pass.

Yours

With Love.

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Dear You,

I am here, at
your concert right now. I am eagerly waiting for the album launch and
your performance. I can’t tell you how excited I am. Words fail
me. And this place is huge; I had never been to one. Thankfully the
seats around me are empty till now, so I’m fine here.

They have
announced your name and the music has started, but where are you.

Awaiting,

With Love.

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Journal Entry:

If I could live
one of my past days once again, I would choose yesterday.

I watched him
with sweet remembrance as he entered the stage and made it his own. I
watched him smile at the crowd, his eyes searching as the focus
shifted from one end of the gallery to the other. The faces in the
crowd were magnified in the larger screen. He waved his hand
delightfully. And then his eyes found me. With a smile so big, he
waved both his hands and began, “In my old memories, you’re
there, expecting me- beckoning as though whispering…”. 
I stood and cheered for him along with the crowd. I realized it was
‘Echo’- one of those songs that I loved, with revised
lyrics and tunes. I was overwhelmed. I fell in love with the song
once more.

I was shouting
and clapping with the people around me, when the focus rested on me.
I was surprised for a second. He was about to sing another song, but
he was moving though the crowd as the music began. He came up the
steps and stopped right in front of me. I was so happy to see him
that I could have hugged him right then, but something stopped me. I
knew that music. “Will you marry me? Will you live forever with
me?” he then began, in front of those thousands of people, and
perhaps the entire country that was witnessing this live. The entire
six minutes that the song took, I was too shocked to react. I just
looked at him as he circled around me, looking back and smiling at me
every second.

 I fell in love
with him once more, all over again.