Her Last Dream

As a final thought, this was an okay poem. One thing I wasn't fond of was how you talked about beauty in the end, because that was mighty predictable. It left the poem off with a tame needing that just didn't hit my heartstrings. It didn't have the strongest ending, which dampens the poem quite a bit. It wasn't a bad poem, but it could be better since it has quite a bit of potential and sorry for two blank comments. It just happen due to bad network connection.

It's beautiful

Hey Prakash,
Myjaspercat here for a review for you...

I want to begin with a little bit of advice. I noticed that you have a little issue with the formatting of the poem, (and I don't really know if it is intentional or not but I am going to point it out anyway). What I am getting at is the space between each line in the stanzas and the extra space in-between stanzas. To eliminate that and make it look like how it is below, you need to 'shift-enter' instead of just hitting 'enter'. Now if you already knew that and you think I was out of place saying this, then I am sorry; I just wanted to help. Anyway, on with the review...

I had a dream of him—
We were living together;
We were separated by miles. the repetition of 'we were' just bogs down the poem. My suggestion for this poem, based on what I interpret from the feeling would to use the word 'but' instead.

Each day,
I was able to look
At his broad smile;
Each day, Here is another example of where the repetition bogs down the plot, though here I do feel like it is a necessary thing. Just make sure that you find those words that don't feel to over whelming.
I was looking at
My lone face in the mirror.

I do like this stanza though. The idea that you, the narrator, can see him one second and then the next he isn't there is a very interesting thought. It kind of feels like you want him to be there but he truly is not. In fact I kind of wrote a poem like that myself, if you want to check it out it's call 'Is this truly love' (You don't have to, but it's just a thought to see others ways of writing similar ideas). Any-who, like I said, I really like this concept; now enough with my rambling.

I was waiting in the evening
At the door,
For his return;
I was waiting for a miracle,
On deathbed,
To bring him back. Ok, so the italicized lines don't make much sense to me. I cant really see what you are trying to get at, and that is a bad thing. My suggestion is very simple, make it easier to understand.

It was a new beginning;
It never ended.
It was only a dream;
It would always remain as a dream. I don't particularly like this stanza. It seems to simple and boring compared to what you have written before. I would like something with more of a bang for the ending of your entire poem.

This is a very good romantic melancholic poem. i like the way u used rhyme at some points of the poem. i myself had written many poem on love and separation. I like the intense dramatic mood you brought in the poem at point where u wait in deathbed ,wait at door and wish if he returned.then the feeling that with him living together,his coming back broadly smiling is just a mere dream. i like the poem alot. keep writing such poems.