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Young Writers Society



Unknown Story Chap. 9 part 3

by Poltergiest


*~*~*

Khor woke with a start and looked around. He waved his hand and the dark cell lit instantly. Standing at the bars, looking in, was Kizen. “Hello.” He said politely. Khor stood and faced him. He instinctively reached for Melden but she was nowhere to be found. Dang! “I came to bring you a meal but it seems you’ve already done that for yourself.” Kizen gestured to the newly furnished room and chuckled.

“Why don’t you come in here and see what else I can do?” Khor replied sharply. Kizen shook his head and replied,

“I was hoping that this meeting might not have been quite as hostile as the last. As you can plainly see, I am a better host of your body than you are. “Hm!” He turned and set a tray of colorful food on the ground and walked down the hallway. He stopped, turned, and snapped his fingers. The lights went out and Khor was left in complete darkness.

He scrambled up to the edge of the bars and reached out in the darkness, groping around for the tray. His hand could not reach it, however. He retreated back to his soft bed and used the Favthom. Khor bent the room and changed only one small thing about it. When he opened his eyes, in the center of the room was a long stick with a kind of hand, to grasp things with.

Khor quickly stooped down and picked it up. He walked over to the edge of the bars and used the new device to reach the tray. The second the stick went in between the bars it melted in Khor’s hand and he let go so it wouldn’t burn his hands. He stepped to the back of the room and sighed. “Dang it!” He slammed his fist against the cell wall.

After hours of sitting in darkness Khor heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. He looked up and saw a dark figure coming down. He put his head in his arms and closed his eyes. “Hello again.” Came a smug voice. Khor clenched his fist and replied,

“Hi. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. I mean, we did leave it off on a bad note.”

“I agree. There’s no reason why we can’t at least be civil.”

“Especially since you’re keeping me prisoner inside my own mind.”

“Tsk, tsk. See, I knew you were still harboring ill feelings about that. I’ll admit, I don’t enjoy the conditions under which we met. I believe we would have made fare friends under altered circumstances.” Khor snorted and replied,

“You mean if you didn’t wrench me out of my world and force me into this festering pit hole. Ha!” Kizen shook his head and rubbed his forehead.

“You have to admit to this Khor, if I hadn’t done any of this to you, we might have had a chance of friends. And the only reason why I’m forced to do this is because it is vital for the operation.”

“I’ve figured that you’re a spirit but I haven’t figured out what you want to do with my body.”

“Ho, ho! You are a smart one aren’t you Khor? Very well, how’d you find out?”

“A living spirit cannot posses a body that’s already taken. And I also know you’re an extremely powerful wizard. It’s a very difficult spell to be able to crawl into someone’s mind and take over as fast as you did.” Kizen bowed and replied,

“I underestimated you Khor! You seem to be much more focused, aware and intelligent than I had first thought.” He snapped his fingers and a comfortable armchair appeared by the cell. He sat in it and addressed Khor.

“So now you understand that I’m being forced to do this terrible thing against my will?”

“No, no I know you could back down anytime you wanted. By your hesitancy I’m guessing you aren’t even in charge. You’re just a grunt sent out to clean up the dirty laundry. And I know one more thing that you don’t.”

“And that is…” Kizen said interested.

“That you’re about to be found out. You’re nothing like me. They’ll see through you the instant you mess up.” Khor smiled and Kizen stood.

“Well, this has been eventful. I am afraid I must leave you and return to utilizing you’re body. Farewell!” He turned and walked down the hall. Khor smiled and watched him go. Fool.

~*~*~

When Vathen awoke he saw a spirit floating at the end of his bed. “Jlk and Gyth, lords of Yeseve, are awaiting your presence downstairs.” Vathen nodded to show he understood and the spirit left the room.

Vathen got up and dressed. He retied his blindfold tightly and walked out the door. Downstairs there was the usual throng of hungry spirits and Vathen searched for Jlk and Gyth. He found them talking to a disgruntled spirit and when they were finished he walked over and greeted them.

“Good morning friends. I received word you requested my presence.”

“Ah! Good morning Vathen! Why don’t you have something to eat?” The three sat but Khor ate nothing while Jlk piled his plate high with bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles, French toast, sausage, and syrup.

“Excuse Jlk, he is restless from the argument you must have witnessed earlier.” Gyth said to Vathen. Vathen nodded and waited until Jlk was satisfied with how much food had been dumping unto his plate.

“We have news for you Vathen. It seems the Jelseves are on the move again. They’re moving closer to Yeseve. This is most disturbing especially since your encounter with them. Do you know anything else Vathen?” asked Gyth.

“I’m sorry my friends. The information I gave you last night was the only information I have for you.” Jlk nodded grimly and Gyth replied,

“Thank you once again, but you must understand, the situation is dire. We need everything possible.” Vathen nodded and the three sat in silence. Vathen eventually stood and walked out of the building. Where is Khor?

Vathen looked around Yeseve and in his room but Vathen couldn’t find Khor anywhere. He began to ask various spirits about his whereabouts but none held the answer he was seeking. After shaking off a particularly conversational spirit Vathen began to look for Jlk.

He eventually found him in the kitchen, helping the cooks. He was cutting ham into wafer thin slices with a gleaming silver knife. Vathen walked over and grabbed a chunk of ham. He seized a knife and began to cut it into perfect pieces as well. “Thank you Vathen. But I assume you had another reason for helping me with today’s lunch.”

“I’m concerned.” Jlk looked completely surprised.

“Concerned! The last time you were concerned about something was when the Jelseves were about to invade Yeseve and destroy everything we’ve ever worked for! I pray your concern is not for the same reason.”

“I’m afraid it falls into the same category, my friend. Yes, the Jelseves are moving but it seems as if they’re waiting for something. I also can’t seem to find Khor anywhere. The answers are stacking up and I am displeased with the outcome. I have run every scenario in my head and I can’t seem to understand what they’re doing.”

“Hmm.” The two stood there, cutting ham and now moving on to freshly baked bread.

“Perhaps they’re attempting a new plot. They have tried to use old tactics thousands of times but this, this is different. They usually attack in one brute force. They almost never plan or strategize. Hmm.”

The two stopped and thought for a moment. “I think I know where Khor is. The one place I haven’t checked.” Vathen left the knife and walked towards the exit.

“And where’s that?!” Jlk called after him. Vathen stopped at the door to face Jlk.

“The Sky.” Vathen left and Jlk continued his work.

Vathen climbed the stairs and eventually made it to the top floor. He pushed open a wooden door and was on the roof. Most spirits named the roof of Yeseve, The Sky. As it was the highest point in Yeseve. There were usually only two guards on The Sky but because of the recent alert of Jelseves there were over twenty. The spirits were clad in chain mail, helmets, and leggings. Incomplete, yes but they were most likely the best trained in all of Yeseve. Yeseve had four catapults on each corner of The Sky.

There were two guards stationed at each at every moment of the day. When Vathen reached the top he saw Khor leaning over the edge, letting the extremely small amount of wind slap him in the face. Vathen walked over and leaned on the wall next to him, facing the opposite way.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Sorry,” Khor replied. “I woke up early and had heard spirits talking about The Sky so I thought it made sense if the top room of Yeseve would be called, The Sky.”

Vathen looked at him emotionless and said, “Tell me next time you go somewhere your not suppose to.”

“Sure.” Vathen stood and was about to leave. He felt a hand on his shoulder and a cold, sharp object on his back. Vathen smiled.

“I knew it wasn’t you.” The blade inched closer to Vathen’s back and he moved forward but was held back by the hand on his shoulder. Guards began to notice and came over. “Hey! What’re you doing?!” Soon The Sky was filled with guards. Khor moved over to the edge and kept Vathen in front of him. Guards lowered their spears and swords to point at Khor.

“If I die, he dies.” Soon Jlk and Gyth rushed up.

“What are you doing?! We feed and shelter you and the only way you can think to repay us is to attack our greatest guest and frighten our people!”

“Don’t blame Khor, Gyth. He’s possessed by a Jelseve.” The guards and spectators below gasped.

“Raise the defenses Gyth, they’re waiting for a signal and they’ll be here in under an hour. But really, whoever you are, you have done a pretty second rate job. Alerting the defenders right before the attack.”

“Actually, everything’s going exactly according to plan.” At that moment all the spirits below were shred into pieces and black-grey spirits were left in their place. They carried swords and began to kill anyone who got in their way to get to the tower. Their swords slashed through the spirits and they were ripped into shreds. Being sent to heaven or hell forcefully was not pleasant.

The spirit who was possessing Khor smiled. “And now that this is done. All I have to do in kill the carrier.” He threw Vathen and turned the sword on himself. He held Melden several inches above his chest and thrust down…


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2631 Reviews


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Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:59 pm
Rydia wrote a review...



There was lots of action and tension in this section which is great and I'm actually starting to feel a little sorry for Khor though, to be honest, I wouldn't mind too much if he died. Some suggestions -

I believe we would have made [s]fare[/s] fair friends under altered circumstances.”

“You have to admit to this Khor, if I hadn’t done any of this to you, we might have had a chance of friendship.

I am afraid I must leave you and return to utilizing [s]you’re[/s] your body.

Vathen nodded and waited until Jlk was satisfied with how much food he had [s]been dumping unto[/s] dumped upon his plate.

There were two guards stationed at each catapult at every moment of the day.

“Tell me next time you go somewhere [s]your[/s] you're not supposed to.”

At that moment all the spirits below were shredded into pieces and black-grey spirits were left in their place.

All I have to do [s]in[/s] is kill the carrier.”

Overall, good work and looking forward to see how Khor gets out of this situation. And hopefully Vathen will survive...




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Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:16 pm
greenjay wrote a review...



Vathen looked around Yeseve and in his room but Vathen couldn’t find Khor anywhere. He began to ask various spirits about his whereabouts but none held the answer he was seeking. After shaking off a particularly conversational spirit Vathen began to look for Jlk.

"he" would be better

Ah!!! Is Khor going to die? Goodjob. *I hurry to the next section*

-Greenboy




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:59 pm
Twit wrote a review...



Pol wrote:“Hello.” He said politely.


Blimey, Pol, don't you listen???????

PLEASE LISTEN WHEN I TELL YOU THAT IT'S A COMMA AND SMALL LETTER OR THERE'S NO POINT IN ME CRITTING!!!




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 4:06 pm
sokool15 wrote a review...



Yes, I liked this one! How could Kizel say stuff about being friends when he's so cruel? Well, at least Khor's not being tortured. And I think you should know, despite it all, I still think Knall is much better than Khor! *sticks out tongue defiantly.)

"I was hoping that this meeting might not have been quite as hostile as the last. As you can plainly see, I am a better host of your body than you are. "Hm!" He turned and set a tray of colorful food on the ground and walked down the hallway.


You didn't put a quotation mark at the end of of the first sentence. And the 'hm'...is that something Khor says? If so, make a new line for it. New line for every dialogue.

Good job with this one! It was easier to read than some have been in the past, and flowed farely smoothly. Congrats on a good chapt.

Yours absolutely, 8)





By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.
— Winston Churchill