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Young Writers Society



Unknown Story Chap. 18 part 1

by Poltergiest


~Chapter Eighteen~

Promises



Knall awoke with his head hanging off the rock platform. When he opened his eyes he was staring straight into the endless black. His wings were drooping and he slowly pulled himself up.

Knall stood on the platform that was only big enough to let him stand on it and began to wonder, once again where Derez had gone. There was another platform not far away that he had slept on the night.

It was empty and Knall saw Derez inching along the small ledge towards him. “Come one!” He said. Knall jumped to the other platform, using his wings to direct him more accurately.

“We’re nearly there,” he said.

“Where are we going?”

“Oh, not to the final place, the ledge ends not to far away,” Knall frowned and continued on. He desperately wanted to know where they were going but didn’t press the issue.

After and hour or so of moving very slowly on the thin ledge it opened up into a type of road. There were large stone walls on either side and hundreds of open caves along the way.

Knall approached one slowly, peering inside. He could see the entrance in the sunlight but the back was basked in darkness. Knall stepped closer, seeing two tiny blue lights in the back.

Derez turned around and shouted Knall’s name. The two tiny lights were glowing eyes. A massive creature snapped foreword, jaw open.

Knall flapped his wings once, launching him into the air. The creature barely missed him, and Knall got a quick glance at it before it retreated back into its cave. It had a long slimy black body and a massive jam with rows of dagger sharp teeth.

Knall landed on the edge of the cave, getting out of the way before it attacked again. Derez was standing next to him. “Kell. They wait for days for any kind of food. Very quick and very deadly,” Knall swallowed and nodded.

The two began to walk again. Knall peered into the dark caves, expecting to see more red glowing eyes. All the others appeared to be empty but Knall still couldn’t shake a sense of suspicion.

Knall and Derez walked down the long aisles of caves until nightfall. Derez summoned an orb of light and sent it into one of the caves. It traveled all the way to the back where there was a long slender crack.

The ball went through the hole and lit up the inside. The crack ended a few feet in and Knall now felt assured. It had begun to rain. It was an unusual rain. Since they were so high up in the mountains the clouds were already near them, sending tiny, wispy droplets of water scattering everywhere.

The rain didn’t pour down, sometimes sideways or up, the wind tossing it either way. Knall sat in the middle of the cave, the orb hovering above him. Derez was standing at the mouth of the cave, peering through the darkness.

Knall was hugging his knees, attempting to shake off the cold. He shivered and sent a small cloud of mist into the air every time he breathed out. Knall rocked back and forth while he looked at Derez, his cloak swirling in the wind.

“Where are we going?” Derez remained silent, still looking out at the blowing mist. Knall closed his eyes, attempting to not let himself get angry. He’s just doing what he’s supposed to do. You’ll know soon enough.

Knall crawled over to a wall of the cave and leaned against it. He rubbed his arms and shivered from the cold. He looked around again and his eyes caught the slender crack in the back of the cave.

Knall looked at it fiercely, expecting something to jump out at any moment. Knall felt… Something, coming from within the crack. He couldn’t place it, or even describe it but it didn’t feel good.

Knall focused on it like he did when he tried to manipulate objects. He looked for its center. At first he was confused, he couldn’t find the center of a hole. Then he focused on the rock around the crack and eventually moved his senses down the crack, feeling his way.

Knall felt the same thing as he had before and still couldn’t place it. Knall let go and returned his attention to Derez. He was still glaring out at blowing storm. There was a loud crack and Knall flinched. It didn’t sound like lightning, more like a slapping.

“Giants,” Derez whispered. Knall looked out of the cave but only saw darkness and rain. There was another loud crack and Knall looked worried.

“Are they… Um, coming here?” Derez nodded but didn’t move. Knall stood and walked across the cave. He stood beside Derez who was leaning against the mouth of the cave.

“How far away are they?” Derez shook his head and closed his eyes. Knall looked out again and heard another smack. He shivered and retreated to the wall of the cave again. He leaned against it and closed his eyes. He heard one last crack before falling asleep.

Knall awoke to the sound of an ear piercing crack and the sound of his name. He snapped his eyes open and looked around the dim cave. Derez was still at the mouth of the cave and looking back.

Knall stood and hurriedly walked over to him. A massive crash woke him up completely. It was still raining fiercely and still very dark out. Derez stepped closer to Knall and said, “The giants are fighting. We need to move fast if we don’t want to be caught.” Knall nodded to show that he understood and another smash came, louder than the others.

Derez motioned to the orb of light and it hovered in front of the two. Derez stepped out into the rain and Knall followed close behind. The wind blew the rain everywhere and Knall was instantly soaked.

He saw a hazy black figure in front of him and followed the shape he knew was Derez. The two walked down the long line of caves, the rain blowing into each of them. Derez abruptly stopped and Knall ran into him.

Derez looked back and motioned towards the ground. Knall looked closely and saw that the ground curved down steeply, ending in darkness. Derez got close to Knall’s ear and shouted to be heard over the rain.

“Use your wings so we don’t get out of control!” Knall nodded in response and held Derez under his arms. He held tightly and the two stepped off the ledge. The ground was wet and muddy.

Knall and Derez slid down quickly and uncontrollably. Knall beat his wings fiercely, catching the wind each time. They slowed slightly but were sliding down far to fast.

Knall heard Derez shout something but couldn’t make it out. He beat harder and the two nearly stopped. When they stopped they were knee deep in mud. The slope sharpened and more mud came rushing down, coming up to their waists.

Knall began to loose his footing, sliding further. He slipped and let go of Derez, sending the two head first down the slope. Knall turned around, looked for where Derez might have gone.

He looked around wildly, searching for a hazy figure, a shout for help… But there was nothing. The slope eventually ended and Knall was standing upright, mud rushing past his ankles.

He stood completely still, hoping Derez would find him. He looked back at the slope behind him, the mud slide slowing a little. Knall swore but the words were lost in the sound of another loud crack.

Knall’s eyes widened as he realized how close it was. In the near distance a massive black, hazed figure walked up slowly and stopped before him, towering. It was more than twice Knall’s size.

The shock and terror began to wear away. Giants. he thought. The humongous thing suddenly turned around. Another one was running up to it. They crashed into each other, creating a loud bang.

Knall held his ears closed as he staggered back. He struggled to see through the haze. The giants were throwing punches at each other and soon wrestling on the ground. Knall began to run around them when they stood, hands on each others throats.

A loud roar came from one and he punched the other in the face. He fell back, almost falling on Knall. He jumped away at the last minute, barely avoiding being crushed. The other came running towards the one who had fallen.

The one on his back thrust his feet at the other and he was jabbed in the stomach. A loud moan came from the injured one and the other stood. He gave a loud roar and ran towards his opponent.

Knall began to run again, keeping his eyes on the two huge figures. They began to struggle, stumbling everywhere. They came over Knall’s way and he was caught between the two.

Knall looked up as he was at their feet. He jumped around madly, attempting to avoid the kicking legs. He jumped out of the middle and landed to the left. The two stood there, attempting to push each other back.

Knall screamed a spell into the wind and rain and one of the giants buckled, toppling down. The other jumped towards him while he rolled over, the opponent falling on the ground. The one who had just stood kicked the other in the face.

He howled in pain and stood while clutching his face. He picked up a nearby boulder and hurled it at the other. It hit him in the shoulder, shattering. Another roar echoed through the rain and Knall held his ears.

Knall would normally run out of this chaos if he knew where to go. He didn’t want to get further away from Derez. Then he realized. Derez could be hurt, or dead. The giants could have stepped on him without realizing it. But no, he was the most powerful magician in the world; he couldn’t be bested by stupid giants.

At that moment Knall realized one of the giants sent the other hurtling towards Knall. He beat his wings hard and was soon airborne. He flew above the two but was quickly exhausted while flying in these extreme conditions.

He landed not to far away from the battle and turned to face them, not wanting to loose sight of them. If he didn’t know where they were he might be injured by a kick or falling body.

Knall whirled around, still searching for Derez. He could see nothing besides the humongous bodies of the giants. Knall landed and stood a good distance away from the brawl. Knall looked around again, feeling completely helpless.

He had to find Derez without getting to far away and without getting injured in the process. He saw the giants moving towards him. He began to run in the opposite direction when he heard another ear piercing crack. He held his ears as he ran away from them.

When he thought he had gone far enough he turned around and saw the two struggling. One hit the other in the face and he fell on his back. The attacker rushed foreword kicking the other in the stomach.

A moan of pain came ringing out, echoing out in the tiny valley. The attacker went to retrieve a large boulder. He came back, holding it over his head. With a grunt of effort the boulder came down unto the giants head.

Knall flinched and turned, not wanting to see anymore. He slowly turned back. The massive hazy figure was walking away from the body. Knall began to walk away, not wanting to even approach the corpse.

Knall eventually found the slope again and sat at its edge. There were very distant cracks and bangs, now. So far away Knall could barely hear them. Knall closed his eyes, trying at sleep.

He knew, however, it would not come. Knall sat in the knee deep mud and waited for the rain to clear. Knall had tried to sleep again several times that night but was kept awake for fear of another attack.

After several long hours, the rain began to clear and a grey sky was beginning to show. Knall looked up, expecting to see a sun but only saw clouds huddled across the sky. He sighed deeply and looked around.

He was in the middle of a small rocky valley. The ground was fairly level with the exception of a few large boulders. All four sides of the valley were curving upward and stretched up into the larger mountains.

He looked around the small flat area. His eyes skimmed over the corpse of the giant, then on to a large whole in one of the slopping walls. He looked at it for several seconds and eventually stood. His legs were sore and his back made popping noises as he straightened.

He slowly walked across the platform, specifically avoiding the body. When he reached the other side he walked up to a whole in the rock almost as tall as him and just as wide. He peered in and only saw darkness.

“Derez?” he whispered. There was no response and he looked deeper. He felt a tiny sliver of cold metal on his back. He slowly stood and without turning around, stretched his wings to their full width.

He slowly turned around to find four men, one with his sword poised over Knall’s chest. Three talked to each other and Knall barely caught a few words. Knall dearly wanted to kill each one. And could easily if he knew it wouldn’t give their position away to Rezlel.

Knall looked at each closer and saw every one of them had wispy blonde hair and beards. Two carried bows, one carried a sword and the other had two daggers at his side. The two with bows finished talking and the one with the sword over Knall addressed him.

Knall couldn’t understand what he was saying but saw him gesture to the dead giant. The others looked at it nervously and returned their attention back to Knall. He glared at them with his perfect round yellow eyes and snarled.

He saw the other three look at his wings and shake nervously. Knall recognized the word ‘Shade’ and nothing else. Knall had no idea what to do. He couldn’t use magic. If he moved suddenly there was a chance he would get pierced by the sword, and he had no idea where Derez was.

He looked around and heard something within the whole behind him. He smiled and leaped into the air. From within the whole came four yellow streaks of light. The thieves dropped to the ground. Knall landed and saw Derez come out of the hole.

He smiled and rushed over to him. “Are you alright?” He asked. Knall nodded and Derez began to walk across the rocky valley. His cloak was now torn and ripped and he had a large scar on his left hand. Knall followed.

“What happened to you?” he asked eagerly.

“Tell me what happened to you first.” Derez stopped before the corpse of the giant. “Uh. After we broke apart I stayed at the edge of the slope, waiting for you. I couldn’t see anything and then these two giants started fighting in front of me. I avoided them for the most part, and then in the morning I was ambushed by the thieves… Are they gonna be okay?” Derez nodded as he looked the body over.

Knall only now looked at the body closely. The giant looked mostly like a large human. It was slender but had powerful arms. It also had dark brown hair. Its eyes were closed and he looked very peaceful.

The giant was apparently male and was unclothed. Derez walked up to him and waved his hand. A massive thick blanket wrapped itself tightly around the body. Derez whispered something and began to walk away.

Knall followed, his feet splashing in the numerous puddles in the uneven rocky valley. Derez began speaking without being asked, “After we were separated I heard another crash and began running. I was hoping you’d do the same.

“I saw the fight from afar and when the two approached me, I blasted my way into the rock wall. I slept there as best as I could, waiting for morning. It would be suicide to go out with the giants. You are very lucky you survived.”

Knall took it in. He was expecting something more. Perhaps something more adventures and heroic. Knall followed as he strode across the valley to the opposite side from where they came.

“Aren’t you worried about using magic with Rezlel looking for us? Do you think that alerted him?”

“It doesn’t matter now. It was necessary for survival. He knows where we are now but it barely matters anymore. We are nearly there.”

“Where?” Derez stopped at the edge of the valley looking up the massive slope and to the rocks beyond.

“The Wound of the Earth,” he replied simply. Knall thought hard but could not remember where he had heard of that before. He was sure it was in one of his books but could not place his finger on it.

As Derez began to climb the slope Knall stretched his wings and flew into the air. He soared up the slope and stopped midway, waiting for Derez. At last. Now I know where we’re going but now I wish I knew why… Hopefully once we get there everything will be straightened out.


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194 Reviews


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Reviews: 194

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Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:20 pm
greenjay wrote a review...



Hey! Sorry it took so long for me to get to this...I've been busy :P.

“Come one!” He said. Knall jumped to the other platform, using his wings to direct him more accurately.

Oops...I think you mean "Come on."

His eyes skimmed over the corpse of the giant, then on to a large whole in one of the slopping walls

Hole not whole.

YAY! Derez finally answer ONE question...and not very well at that but hey. So, things are coming along great. I like the giants and the thief thing was good. It's going a little slow, but if it speeds up when they get to the "Wound of the Earth" place, then you probably don't have to worry about it. Very good job.

~the Jster




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Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:42 pm
nothingface wrote a review...



try changing some thing about and replacing knall in some places i sense his/her name is being used alot. also ive read a few of your other chapters and they usually start with knall woke up or knall climbed out of bed or something like that you know? other than that it was pretty good!

mimi




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Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:13 pm
Aisho wrote a review...



It was a little mixed up -- the transitions from one place to another were practically nonexistant. One minute it's day, and in the next it's night, and I'm trying to figure out how we got there over the course of three sentences.

The eye color of the beast needs to be fixed. Initially, it's blue, and then you change it to red -- pick one.

Your spelling needs a lot of work. Foreword --> forward. Try not to use "humongous" a thousand times; it's the kind of word that makes readers think of kindergarteners saying things like "humongous ginormous" and "bazillion trillion" ... it's okay to use it once or twice, IF you're careful, but I'd recommend against it. It doesn't do anything for your writing, in any case.

The Wound of the Earth. :D I like it.





I know where the wall goes.
— Creed, the Office