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Young Writers Society



Unknown Story Chap. 17 part 3

by Poltergiest


~*~*~

Khor awoke very slowly and looked around. His room was an extreme mess. He slowly stood and rubbed his head. His mind was swimming as if he couldn’t focus on anything. Finally things began to focus and he glanced at a clock. He was nearly late for class and he quickly changed into the uniform and dashed out the door.

Khor had barely sunk into the swarm of tired students and into his right classroom before the bell rang. He had luckily grabbed his pack on the way out of his room and launched straight into his seat.

Sitting next to him was Rakari. He looked over and whispered, “Something amazing happened last night. I’ll tell you after classes.” as the teacher walked in. Students rushed into their seats as their literature teacher set his briefcase on his desk and opened it.

Khor saw something land on his desk. It was a small scrap of paper. He picked it up and unfolded it, instantly feeling a small magical energy emanating from within it. As he opened it the small doodle came to life and moved.

It was a sketch of Khor and Gerin in the hall battling, only Gerin’s chain wrapped around Khor’s neck and hiss head rolled around on the floor. Khor crumpled it up, destroying the magic and looked around. Gerin was looking at him smugly and mouthed, ‘next time’. Khor glared at him and the two redirected their attention towards the front.

After classes he met up with Rakari in the atrium along with most of the other students. They sat on a bench near the garden, facing the massive window. “Rakari, you know how I’ve been having trouble with my magic.” She nodded,

“Last night, Gerin and I fought. I won but, that not the point. After, in my room. I reached into my original magic like I described to you. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I could feel everything in the room. Like, their essence, I could see them for what they really were.” Rakari was listening intently and Khor wordlessly thanked her.

It was slightly unusual to have someone there to listen to you and to understand. They sat in silence for a few moments and she finally answered.

“Okay, the way I see it is, we need to make it so you can access that magic constantly. Whenever you recite a spell, you should be using that magic. Either we use up that barrier magic you told me about or we just have to break the barrier.”

Khor had thought of these possibilities before but it sounded better when it was said out loud. Khor nodded, “But how?” The two sat in silence again and Khor saw Gerin not far away, walking up.

Khor stood and reached for Melden. Rakari grabbed his hand and he stopped, waiting for Gerin to approach. When he did he stood before him, smirking. He also had a large group of friends following.

“Well, well. Seems the two monsters are mating. Isn’t it cute?” A few of the friends sniggered and Khor glared back.

“Funny,” he started, “From where I’m standing it seems like you’re the monster.”

“Oh… No… What a retort. Maybe outsiders are far too stupid to understand proper Basic. And the outcast’s freak hasn’t even said a word.”

“You don’t deserve my words, Gerin.” Replied Rakari.

“And you,” he said, pointing at Khor, “Don’t deserve Mourn. She’s too good to have outsiders stinking her up.”

“Shut up, Gerin.” Replied Khor, sitting back down.

“What’s the matter? Afraid to fight?”

“Yea, I’m afraid I’ll accidentally kill you.” Gerin narrowed his eyes and drew his chain. About fifteen of his friends drew weapons as well. Khor stood and was about to draw Melden when he had an idea.

“Gerin, you don’t want to see what I can do.”

“And what can an outsider do that I can’t?”

“I’m warning you, it’s not my fault if they kill you.”

“What they?” He said. Khor’s eyes glazed over and he reached for the shadows. Feeling all of them he commanded them to rise. Sleek, thin tendrils rose out of the ground and began to slither over to Gerin and his group.

Gerin began to laugh and threw his chain at one. It passed right through and fell to the floor behind it. Khor’s eyes were now completely black as he dove into the mind and will of the shadows.

He saw Gerin and his group start running. The tendrils lashed out, intending to kill each one of them. Khor restrained them and they wrapped around them, constricting them. Horrible screams echoed down the atrium as the tendrils tightened.

Khor told them to recede back into the shadows, that their purpose was met. The retaliated, they needed blood. One tendril constricted a large boy and killed him. The other tendril gathered around him and feasted on him. Somehow Khor knew what they were doing, they were stealing his soul.

When the tendrils receded the boy was left motionless with a look of terror on his face. Khor stepped back and rubbed his forehead. He looked around and saw a very large crowd gathering around the scene.

Khor saw the boy and turned. He pushed through the crowd and out of the atrium. As he ran down an empty hall he heard his name being call. He didn’t slow and saw Rakari catch up with him.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Khor stopped in the middle of the dark hall, the light of the atrium barely spilling in. He went down a side hallway and sat, leaning against the wall. He hugged his knees and stared foreword a look of shock on his face.

“I thought I could control them. Dead. He’s dead.” Rakari sat next to him and hugged him. She gently shushed and he rocked back and forth.

“It’s different now. He was completely undefended.” He whispered. Rakari hugged him tighter and continued her soft hum. Khor began to cry. He didn’t completely know why. He had killed before but this was different.

There was nothing he could do. The tendrils went out of control, past his instruction. Khor cried and hugged Rakari back. The two sat in the long dark hall and held each other.

Khor eventually stopped crying and stood. Rakari had spilled a few tears as well and she wiped them away with her sleeve. She gave Khor an encouraging smile and he returned it through watery eyes.

Khor leaned foreword and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back. Khor couldn’t think of anything at the moment. After several seconds the two broke and Khor whispered, “Thanks for being there for me.” She looked up at him and said,

“You’re welcome.” Khor hugged her again and she began to walk down the hall to her room. Khor waited for a few moments and went down the same hall to his room. He walked down the dark hall with many things on his mind.

He thought about the boy and what Gerin would say. He thought about Rakari and what was going to happen next. He thought about his magic and what he was going to have to do. All these things swam through his head as he entered his room.

When he opened the door he found Vathen sitting at the newly arranged table, drinking something out of a small glass. He looked up at Khor as he entered and said, “So, what happened?” Khor walked pass him and tied Melden to the bar in the closet.

He turned around and sat across from him. He looked at the liquid in Vathen’s glass and then at the bottle on the counter. Vathen muttered something and a short glass flew out of the cupboard and landed on the table. The bottle poured a red liquid into Khor’s glass and he gratefully took it.

He drank the red liquid. It was apparently wine and had a sweet and smooth taste that slightly burned his throat as it went down. He set the glass down and walked over to his bed and sat down.

He looked across at Vathen who had been watching him. “I killed a student.”

“Was it Gerin?” he asked.

“No. I summoned these tendrils from the shadows and I thought I could control them. I felt their thirst for blood and they attacked the boy. S-somehow I knew they stole his soul.” Vathen gazed silently into the air.

“Then what?”

“I ran. I’ve killed people before but this boy was entirely defenseless. It felt different. Not like the Shades, who are crazed animals, or the RA who were trying to kill me first.”

“Wasn’t this boy trying to hurt you too? How was it different?”

“It was… It was out of my control. The tendrils had a mind of their own.” Vathen sat up and set down his glass.

“Khor. These tendrils are extremely powerful. Every time you summon them there is a cost. One life must be taken. The more lives they take the more pleased they are and willing to serve the master. I am very surprised that you could do this. It is a very old and powerful technique.

“You must be very careful when summoning these. If they don’t receive their payment from another soul they’ll take yours. Please be cautious.” He stood and began to walk out the door and said, “I’m happy for you and Rakari.” He said and smiled as he left.

Khor stared at the door, thinking. First of how he knew everything and why he had confided in him for the first in a long time. Khor lay in his bed and spread out, closing his eyes. He saw Rakari as he drifted off to sleep.

When Khor awoke he automatically glanced at the clock hanging over his door. He had several hours before he was expected in class. He lay back down and was completely silent, listening to the harsh rain pounding endlessly outside.

Khor stood and ripped off shirt. He looked a the scars on his stomach, once again reminded of Kizen. He also looked at the small burns on his arms from his encounter with the fireplace guardian.

Khor rubbed his arms in the cold and quickly found a white buttoned shirt. He also pulled on the black tie and formal black shoes. He looked at himself again in the mirror and saw someone entirely different.

This boy must have two loving parents. Friends, a place to call home. But no. Khor had none of these things. All he had left were scars to remind him of the past. He gazed into the mirror and put on his white jacket.

As he put it on he noticed a small rip on the sleeve. It was from his battle with Vathen. He looked back into his own eyes in the mirror and gazed at his past self. Someone who had parents, friends and people to care about.

The he stopped. I do have people to care about. Vathen, Rakari. I many not have a lot of friends but the ones I have I’d die for. Khor tore his gaze away and stepped out of the room.

He stepped straight into a cold dark hallway and he automatically turned left, heading for the atrium. He walked down the cold stone hallways alone and completely emotionless.

When he finally did reach the atrium the hovering orbs hanging over the plants glowed softly. He walked through the path, in between trees and massive plants. He walked slowly, tapping a few plants as he went.

He walked all the way to the back of the atrium and gazed out the massive window. He looked to the left and gazed at the spot where the boy had his soul stolen. Khor turned away and walked down the length of the window.

As he walked something caught his eye. He looked to the left and saw Vathen and Friizen arguing not far a way. Khor moved quickly to the side and walked down the path near them with a large tangle of plant life blocking the two. He crept up to the edge and listened intently.

“…leave! There was a boy killed, Vathen! What do you suppose I’m supposed to tell his parents? It was an accident?”

“The loss was unfortunate, Friizen. But think. Do you realize how much power he has! He summoned them. Without thinking, Friizen. I’ve seen him do other, amazing things. He is the one.”

“Shut up, Vathen. How can you believe that damned prophecy? That time has passed into this time. It’s different, Vathen. Darkness is coming. No one knows who’s behind thin but my informants say he’s a powerful as The First! Is your boy more powerful than that? I didn’t think so.” The two stood in silence.

“I-I’m sorry, Vathen. You have to leave.”

“Friizen! We need a safe place where he can harness his power.”

“I’m, sorry.” Friizen walked away and left Vathen to stand alone. The lights went out and Vathen looked to the spot where Khor was hiding.

“You can come out, Khor.” Khor stepped slowly out of the large leaves and walked up to Vathen. “You heard.” It wasn’t a question. Khor nodded nevertheless.

“You’ll have to get you’re things, we leave tomorrow morning. You won’t have to go to classes, I don’t think.” Khor silently nodded and Vathen walked away, rubbing his head. Khor stood in the dark of the atrium, thinking.

Leaving… Khor honestly had no idea what to think of this. He had been moving ever since The Academy. To him this was mostly a good thing. He wouldn’t have to deal with Gerin any longer. But then there was Rakari… He would tell her after classes. Khor began to walk down the passageway to the exit of the atrium.

When Khor finally reached his room he opened the door and stepped inside. His old traveling pack was resting on his bed. He picked it up and began stuffing it with clothes, rations, soap, books, and blankets.

Khor changed out of his uniform and into his newly cleaned black shirt, white jacket, and black pants. He laced his black boots and strapped Melden to his belt along with the smaller packs filled with useful tools.

Khor, again, gazed into the mirror. Now standing before him was a boy who had survived a Shade attack on the largest magical university in Dyphrobis. He had also lost his parents a very long time ago; he had been held prisoner in his own mind. And he was about to leave another place he had once called home.

The last bell rang as Khor stepped out of his room, leaving the sound of clattering footsteps. Khor walked silently down the steps, heading for the atrium.

The halls were empty, now. Most of the students had gone back up to their rooms to change into clothing of their choice. Khor stepped into the brilliant light of the atrium. Standing with a group of friends near the entrance was Gerin.

“Hey look! It’s the murderer!” He shouted across the atrium. Khor ignored him completely and walked down the road to the back of the atrium. He looked around at the plants as he slowly went along.

When he did reach the back he looked out the humongous glass wall. Everything seemed grey and hazy through the intense rain. I’m gonna be out there in a few hours. He thought.

He heard footsteps behind him and turned around. Rakari was walking towards him. She was wearing a black and white jacket and black pants. Her hair was like the day they met, black and long.

Khor’s stomach churned at the sight of her. She was beautiful. He had a strong urge to run away and never tell her. Slip away without telling anyone, it would be so much easier. But no, Khor thought, this is something I have to do.

Khor walked towards her and she smiled at him. He tried to smile back but he simply couldn’t do it. “What’s wrong?” she asked as he approached.

“I… Rakari, I’m leaving tomorrow.” She looked at him for a moment.

“I thought so. I mean, I didn’t know when but… I knew you were going to have to. You couldn’t stay here forever. So, when are you leaving, exactly? I have to get ready.” Khor stared at her.

“Wha- No. No. You can’t. It’s too dangerous.” Khor was not planning on this. This only made things more complicated. It was hard enough to leave her but to have to tell her she would have to stay.

“Rakari. I love you. Therefore you can’t come with me. I would kill myself if something happened to you.” She nodded and said,

“I thought you’d try to talk me out of it. I just want to say… I’ll be waiting for you.” Khor looked at her again and smiled.

“I will never forget you. I don’t know when I’ll be back but I swear I will.” He walked closer and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back and the two let go. Khor kissed her on the lips and stepped away.

He turned around, holding her hand. They walked over to a stone bench and sat, looking out into the haze of the rain. She kissed him on the cheek and he put his arm around her.

Khor spent the rest of the day sitting with her in silence. They both somehow knew that everything was going to turn out alright. Khor watched her go back to her room and eventually walked down the hallways to his own.

Khor turned the corner to his room and saw Gerin and several of his friends standing before his door. Gerin held a chain and several of his friends drew swords. Khor glared at him and drew Melden.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, Gerin. You don’t need to do this.”

“I’m permanently removing this scum.” He dashed towards Khor, chain swirling in the air.

Khor felt something inside him. The magic. He knew that’s what it was. He reached out to it and let it wash over him. He let it fill up every part of him, like last time.

Khor closed his blue-green eyes. When he opened them they were bright gold and flaring. He smiled maliciously and extended his arms. Gerin stopped and looked at him. Khor bent and whispered, “I warned you.”

Khor felt everything in the hallway. This time there were lives. Souls burning brightly. He reached out to each of the bodies and barely thought of a spell before it flew from his mind, throwing everyone back and into the stone wall.

Khor kept Gerin floating in the air and leisurely walked up to him. He lightly rested his hand on his cheek and smiled. He saw his soul. Who he really was.

“Gerinadell. Why do you act like this? I’m terribly sorry about you’re mother but its not you’re right to take it out on outsiders. You don’t have to do this. I lost mine a long time ago as well. You miss her and fear tears. I used to as well. I’m sorry.”

Khor closed his eyes and when the opened they were back to normal. He looked at Gerin sadly and stepped into his room. When he did he let it out. He was entirely exhausted and instantly fell onto his cot, falling asleep.


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194 Reviews


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Fri Sep 28, 2007 7:57 pm
greenjay wrote a review...



It was a sketch of Khor and Gerin in the hall battling, only Gerin’s chain wrapped around Khor’s neck and hiss head rolled around on the floor. Khor crumpled it up, destroying the magic and looked around. Gerin was looking at him smugly and mouthed, ‘next time’. Khor glared at him and the two redirected their attention towards the front.

His not Hiss...Grr, Gerin is dumb. Khor would whup him anyday :evil: .

No one knows who’s behind thin but my informants say he’s a powerful as The First!

This

Khor closed his blue-green eyes. When he opened them they were bright gold and flaring. He smiled maliciously and extended his arms. Gerin stopped and looked at him. Khor bent and whispered, “I warned you.”

YES!!! FINALLY! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

When he did he let it out. He was entirely exhausted and instantly fell onto his cot, falling asleep.

Let what out? His breath? You should clarify this, I'm not sure what you mean here.


Okay, this is an AWESOME section. Yes, it was very long, but I personally didn't really care. For future reference you might want to post in shorter sections (but not too short cause that's dumb :P). Anyway it was REALLY COOL and I loved the fight with Gerin. Rakari's not going with Khor? :cry: About that whole part with Rakari, I'd suggest adding a little more emotion. You don't have to make it melodramatic or anything, but come on, he doesn't know if he's ever gonna see her again :( . Rakari just seemed a little fake and Khor did a bit too. But I stink at romance and emotion and stuff so...

Anyway, GREAT JOB!!! ***** 5 stars :D.

-the gman




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Fri Sep 28, 2007 12:49 pm
Twit wrote a review...



Pol, this is very, VERY long. That makes it difficult to read. And even skim-reading, I can see that you're still doing that thing with the capitals and full stops in dialogue in places.

“Shut up, Gerin.Replied Khor, sitting back down.


One of the reasons I stopped reading was that you weren't paying attention to that fundamental rule. I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to be over-bearing and bossy and all, but PLEASE listen to comments.

On the plus side, your dialogue looks a lot better. :D





There is nothing more radical or counter-cultural, at the moment, than laying down one’s cynicism in favour of tender vulnerability.
— John Green