Young Writers Society

Heyo! I'm Zayin and I am here to review this lovely piece you've made!

ᯓ★

This poem is a delightful exploration of physicality, play, and the relationship between the body and the natural world. The speaker’s approach to “recreational physics” is whimsically rooted in the pleasures of simple, almost childlike experiences, yet it also carries an undercurrent of deeper reflection. The vivid, tactile imagery—such as “tumble downstairs in a wicker laundry basket” and “I sit under trees and remember gravity”—brings the poem to life, inviting the reader to experience the world through the speaker’s eyes. There’s a sense of joy and abandon in these actions, but also a subtle acknowledgment of the forces at play, both physical and emotional.

The second stanza offers a fascinating shift in tone, as the speaker moves from playful imagery to a more introspective exploration of the heart. The metaphor of damming the heart like a beaver and filling it with “grass and detergent and dirt” evokes a sense of keeping emotions in check, while also juxtaposing the organic and the mundane. The mention of “swallowed teeth” adds a layer of vulnerability, hinting at personal loss or the passage of time.

The third stanza, with its tender comparison of sleep to a cradle “falling through each baby-broken bough,” further deepens the sense of fragility and impermanence. The poem ends with the disarming admission, “I don’t know inertia,” which perfectly encapsulates the speaker’s relationship to both physical and emotional forces—perhaps they are aware of the pull of gravity and the weight of life, but are still coming to terms with the stillness that inertia demands.

Overall, this is a playful, contemplative, and wonderfully imaginative poem that combines the wonder of childhood with deeper, more existential reflections. Its unique approach to everyday physics and the complexity of emotional life invites the reader to reflect on the ways we navigate the forces that shape us, both internally and externally. With a little more focus on connecting the various themes, this poem could become even more evocative and engaging, It's really nicely written! -ZK ☆⋆˚࿔

Heyyy!

So, all in all, I love this. It's a really peaceful piece, and it's gentle. It's not harsh, it doesn't throw the reader around, it's truly peaceful. This is the kind of piece I would love to sit down in my window with my tea and read.
I love how it describes multiple activities, and I love the ending. It's super cute and pretty. It's light and not heavy. It sits well.

Thank for such a pretty piece.
~Taost

Hai :3

This is such a neat poem!! I love this so much; it’s so playful and tactile, but there’s this underlying weight to it that makes it feel shocking and profound. The way you’ve tied these seemingly lighthearted images into something reflective is so clever and unexpected!! Especially the scientific imagery. The whole vibe feels like childhood curiosity meeting introspection, and I’m obsessed with how you’ve woven something like physics into something so human and emotional!!

I dam my heart like a beaver and keep its
chambers full; grass and detergent and dirt,
a den for my fallen, swallowed teeth.

I don’t know inertia

Heya Plume! Atticus here with a review today

This poem caught my eye because of the physics reference - I like literature that discusses science because it fuses two areas that are typically thought of as separate, even as opposites. Beyond that, it's always fun to see the way that people use natural phenomenons as metaphors for experiences. This poem was no exception!

This is a short poem, so I'll go line-by-line and give my thoughts:

I like taking part in kinds of recreational physics:

I pick up my feet to let them drop back into the mud,
I tumble downstairs in a wicker laundry basket,
I sit under trees and remember gravity.

I dam my heart like a beaver and keep its
chambers full; grass and detergent and dirt,
a den for my fallen, swallowed teeth.

I sleep like the cradle, falling
through each baby-broken bough—