Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Oooh what a story! When I first looked at this I wasn't really expecting anything really serious, considering how short it was... and I was wrong.
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
What I can tell from this is that two strangers are sitting at a bench, talking. It turns out the second stranger is visiting their mother, and says that this town isn't so bad. The first stranger recommends the beach, gives out some directions, and the second stranger goes off to find it. It then turns out that the beach is a cause of many deaths, and the mayor is planning to close it.
Suddenly, a third stranger drops by, and the cycle starts again.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Overall, this was a really good story, but I did happen to find some things. First off, I had to reread the end with the deaths part-that confused me. After I reread it a few times though, then I finally understood it.
I also found that the beginning
was kind of un-descriptive. I could barely imagine it.two strangers sit on a bench
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
Overall, I really liked the ending, when the third stranger comes by. I found it kind of creepy that the first stranger said the exact same thing they'd said before:
So. You come here often?
It was actually kind of creepy, which I thought was really cool. Good job!
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this was a nice, spooky story that I found as really unexpected.
happy writing,
-foxmaster
(This is one rad banner made by @LuminescentAnt!
Points: 9163
Reviews: 229
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