Cry Wolf

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

Well this is quite a funny little tale here. I think you did a wonderful bit of setup and I love the little twist, things just escalating a little bit beyond the normal prank thing into something a little more evil only for it to crash right back to pranks and have the little bit at the beginning only make more sense as a result.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

He could resist anything except temptation, and this was very tempting.

It was not Max's fault, really. He never got what he wanted, and now was the perfect opportunity. It only made sense to grasp it.

Melody had gone out. Again. She had waved bye-bye and left him home alone with only the television for company, bless her sweet little soul.

Glaring images flashed across the screen, radiating an artificial glow into the dark bedroom. First a puppy leaping obediently through a hoop, then a girl stroking her photoshopped face, and now a tired man rearranging weather stickers on a board. Max pounded on the remote, extinguishing the flickering blue flame and plunging him into darkness. He was dead bored. Melody only let him watch during the day, when there was nothing on. She couldn't understand his suffering, of course. She got to see all the wild shows in the evenings when she came back home from her adventures.

Max rolled off the sofa, crawled to the window and hauled up the grimy blinds. The infernal sunshine struck him right in the eyes, sending him tottering backwards. Stupid television. Did it ever occur to Melody that he might like to try more substantial activities, like going out? Of course not. She had not one drop of imagination in her watery mind. Max trudged back to the sofa and tripped on Jojo's book, one of the many littering the floor like dead leaves. He shuddered with disgust at the injustice before him. He and Jojo were the same age, had grown up in the same house, with the same parents, and yet while one was lavished with gifts, smothered with useless treats and sent off to school, the other was left to rot in the dungeon he called home; and just to aggravate him even further, Jojo threw away his unearned education and went off rambling in the woods with his sleezy friends seven days a week. Why was he denied his fundamental rights? He had been carrying out civilized conversations while Jojo was still learning to eat pureed peas. Melody had no idea how much money she wasted on her son.

Max sniffed and turned back to the window. It was then that the temptation kicked in. Peering out onto the sunny summer world outside, Max met eye to eye with the perfect opportunity.

Across the road, little old Mrs. Honey was cutting the flowers in her garden, sneezing with every snip of her oversized scissors. The rest of the street was deserted. The temptation was killing him.

"Help!", Max screamed.

Mrs. Honey shot up like a spring and dropped her scissors.

"Help! I'm trapped in here!", he said.

Mrs. Honey stared in dismay at her neighbor's house, apparently too shocked to move.

"Call the police! There's a bomb in here, I'm telling you." cried Max, "Get me out!"

Quivering, Mrs. Honey hobbled back to her house, dropping her glasses along the way.

"Stay calm, I'm on it!" she squeaked.

Max spun around and ogled the clock. He couldn't believe his luck; Melody would arrive just in time for the big show. It would serve her right for thinking he was a fool. Sure enough, as sirens wailed and whizzed up the road, a small figure turned a distant street corner. Max observed his handiwork with pride from his upstairs window.

The police cars skidded to a halt before Melody's tangled yard, blocking up the road in a careless jumble. An impossible number of policemen swarmed out like ants and filled the street. Some went to reassure a speechless Mrs. Honey, while the rest circled the house like a ring of neon yellow fire, keeping their guns fixed on their target. A particularly big one, probably the leader, rammed on the door.

"This is the police!", he yelled, "Open up or you're arrested!"

Oh, this was so wicked!

"Don't open the door," Max moaned, "It'll detonate the bomb!"

The police chief scrambled away from the house and gestured to his men.

"Move as far away from the bomb as possible," he commanded Max, "We'll come in through a window."

"I can't, I'm strapped to it!" wailed Max. For a moment, he kept quiet while the policemen crept closer to the house, but then he could hold it in no longer. "Please don't touch the window. If the one who trapped me here sees you, she'll set off the bomb. Remotely!"

The policemen shifted uneasily at the word she. Mrs. Honey fainted. Straining his neck, Max caught a glimpse of Melody strolling up the road. She paused briefly to admire a bird and post a letter.

"There she is, right by the postbox!" said Max, "I'm going to die!"

The police chief waved his hands like a football fanatic.

"Stop that woman!" he yelled.

Immediately, a bewildered Melody was pounced upon by ten policemen and tackled to the ground. They dragged her up the street and stuffed her into a police car, while she gawked at the scene with terrified, shallow eyes. Max hugged himself with satisfaction. He was having so much fun.

"Break in through that window," the police chief ordered his men, "and release the poor hostage."

A glass smashed, and heavy footsteps thundered up the stairs. Max glanced around desperately, searching for a hiding place. He hadn't thought about this part. A voice behind him took him by surprise.

"Where are you? You're safe now". The policeman speaking let his eyes drop. He gaped at Max for three seconds and then fell to the floor laughing. The police chief burst into the room, pointing his gun at unseen enemies.

"What's going on?" he said.

The laughing policeman pointed at Max.

"It was a parrot all along chief, we should have guessed", he said.

Hello fellow writer! Ley here to write a tortoise-y review on this amazing work you've published! This is a new review style that I'm using only for the month of June, in spirit of the Great Tortoise Race! Let's get started, 'shell' we? xD

Shell Start: Ooh! What an interesting story we have here! I loved, and I mean abosolutely loved the plot twist at the end. The whole time, my face was stuck in awe, and then when we got the revelation I found myself unable to stop smiling! Let's get into the details.

Favorite Leaf:
Like I said above, I loved the twist! I would've never guessed it was a parrot making all those sounds, and honestly, I was very surprised. Although, once I read it back for a second time, I was like 'Oh! That makes sense!' xD

I also enjoyed the background you provided, especially the parrots opinions on the others that lived in the house. I adored it. I really thought that maybe the parrot was Jojo's older brother, but now I think maybe Jojo is a dog? Please correct me if I'm wrong!

Shell Fractures:
I couldn't find anything wrong with this piece. I really enjoyed it!

Overall:
Overall, this was an awesome story! I found myself feeling sorry for the parrot, then concerned, then hysterical in the fact that I missed all the clues. Amazing job, and I can't wait to read more of your work in the future! Have a lovely day!

Thank you for taking the time to read this review! I hope to see you join the race, and keep being awesome! Happy Writing~