Hi, I’m here to make a review.
I thought this prologue is pretty good. I feel as if though it was hard to read or understand at some points, because of grammatical errors but you’ve already gotten plenty of reviews covering those so I won’t go into them. I think this is a great prompt though. The idea of our protagonist realizing that they are in reality probably the antagonist in the story from an objective standpoint is something not typically seen. I love seeing new and creative ideas because I know how much more difficult it can be to try and be different with your plot so I applaud you for that. I look forward to seeing more of this.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Love was something that people get when they met someone. Someone that they were really in love and wanted to be with them. That person could be a friend, a stranger, nor...celebrity. However, when I said a celebrity, I thought of this question: 'Does they love them, too?'. Well, I got my answer of it, and it is a no. I thought they will not date a fangirl nor a fanboy like I were a fan of a celebrity who named Ryan Terry. However, I were the one of the fangirls who was chose by him. I didn't know that how I was one who sparked his eyes and made him happy. I was bullied by other fangirls and crazy things are going on when we started dating. I just wanted a normal life...and a normal relationship. However, I was the girlfriend with full of hate and drama....

Hey there, looks like you are in some need of feedback.

Firstly and most importantly, your English grammar doesn't make much sense. In almost every line there in a incorrect wording or use of the English language. Let me point them out for you.

1. The title itself doesn't make grammatical sense.
Girlfriend With Full of Hate and Drama

2.Love wasis something that people getfeel when they meet someone.

3.Someone that they were really in love with and wanted to be with them.

4.That person could be a friend, a stranger, nor...celebrity.

5.'DoesDo they love them, too?'

6. Well, I got my answer of it, and it is a no. Well I've got my answer to that, and it's 'no'.

7. I thought they will not date a fangirl nor a fanboy like I were a fan of a celebrity who named Ryan Terry. I thought they wouldn't date a fangirl or fanboy like I was. I was a fan of a celebrity named Ryan Terry.

8.However, I werewas the one of the fangirls who was chosen by him.

9. I didn't know that how I was one who sparked his eyes and made him happy.[/b]

10.crazy things arewere going on when we started dating.

11.I was the girlfriend with full of hate and drama....

Overall interesting concept you have here. Exploring the other side of celebrities and showing how horrible this guy really was and the degenerating life of a fan could be interesting. However your grammar is unfortunately poor, and you should learn the basics of English language sentence structure, past and present tense, conjunctions, how to form sentences correctly. You will need a translator or someone who speaks fluent English to look over your work before you publish it to try and get rid of those grammar hiccups.

Before I start, I would like to say that I can definitely see the promise in the story plot. I can see where this would be a good story in theory, but it could use quite a bit of work. So before I start the critiques, let me just say that you shouldn't take all of this personally. It's hard work to write a novel. And as a fellow novel writer, I can understand the troubles. So, just know that all of this comes from a place of understanding and a true want to help a fellow writer.

Okay...on to the critiques...

First off, I agree with what yeupyeup said. You need to read your work out loud to yourself. It works wonders on finding mistakes you don't notice when you read in your head.

For one, if you were to say out loud "Love was something that people get when they met someone" you would immediately notice how it doesn't sit well on the tongue.

However, if you were to say "Love is something that a person gets when they meet someone." instead, you would notice how it feels more natural to say.

Just as well, you would hear how "Does they love them, too?" sounds a bit off.

If you were to change that to something like "Do they love themselves too?" it would be much more clear.

I'm not going to correct everything that could use changing, seeing as that would take the chance from you to fix and improve with your own ideas. Instead I'm going to move on to the next major thing.

The next major thing being your inconsistent verb tense. in the first sentence alone, you went from past, to present, to past again. For example:

The sentence being: "Love was something that people get when they met someone"

"was" is past tense, "get" is present tense, and "met" is past tense.

The same thing happens in the line: "I was bullied by other fangirls and crazy things are going on when we started dating."

"was bullied" is past tense, but "are going" is present tense. Saying "started" is past tense as well.

Once again, I'm not going to fix or point out all of these, because as a writer, you should get the chance to improve your writing as you see fit. These are just my opinions.

My only other major problem is the title. I know how most of the time we use working titles and change them as the plot digresses from our original plans, but I do think that tweaking the title a little to something a little more grammatically correct, such as "Girlfriend Full of Hate and Drama" will attract more readers.

That's really all I have for you. I think that your story could turn out to be great, but just like all great pieces, it needs some work. I would love to be updated if you decide to continue the story.

Good luck and happy writing,
Blocked Writer

Hey there.

So, this is a new one. Assuming 'Katie' is the person speaking here, based on the giant subtitle. Kind of unnecessary, but hey. At least we know. I tend to reveal the character's name in dialogue when he or she is addressed by another character.

So past your massive subtitle. As you seem to be aware, you've got a few problems. In tense, subject verb agreement, lack of commas, wacky punctuation in general, and grammar. Not going to try and judge on the content, seeing as all we've got is a paragraph.

Let's start.

You've got to make up your mind on what tense you're doing this in. I think it should be in present. The first sentence has to be in present, anyway, because love still exists today, yes? Meaning instead of, "Love was something that people get when they met someone." It should be, "Love is something that people get when they meet someone." If you absolutely insist on doing it in past tense, then make sure everything matches up, at least, even though it's incorrect. "Love was something that people got when they met someone." That is past tense with everything matching, even though past tense shouldn't be used here.

I'm going to give you a bigggg hint here. And I promise, no matter how stupid you feel, this works. Go back before you post something, and read it aloud to yourself. Now before you call me crazy I'll explain why. If you say it aloud and it sounds right, it's probably right. Unless of course English isn't your first language, but your profile pic looks English enough.

Now take me seriously here. Say,

"Does they love them, too?"

Now tell me. Would you say that to one of your friends? Would you say that aloud, ever?

No. Because it's grammatically incorrect.

Now, I don't know exactly how to tell you to fix this, because the context doesn't make any sense. I don't know who you're talking about when you say 'they' or 'them', so I don't know whether it should be 'he' or 'her'.

I can't fix every single mistake here, but my solid overall advice for you is to read aloud before you post and you'll catch a lot of errors.

Something else I'd like to address before I leave... you have absolutely got to fix the title. There are a few options. But what you have makes no sense at all and is incorrect, grammatically, again.

Girlfriend Full of Hate and Drama-Prologue

Girlfriend with Hate and Drama-Prologue

Relationship of Hate and Drama-Prologue

Relationship Full of Hate and Drama-Prologue

Please do not pick the second one. It may be technically correct, but it sounds awful. Anyway, good luck, I hope I helped, I'm sorry if I seemed harsh, and don't take it personally.

Keep on writing.

It sounds very interesting from the beginning. I'm very excited about reading this. It's very intriguing and leaves space for more story. Hope you continue this book cause it looks great x