Columbia: Cherry Blossoms

by Phoebe
  • January 9, 2008
  • Poetry
  • Other

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Comments & reviews · 3
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Phoebe
Comment
Phoebe commented · Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:17 pm

Indebted for the critique and the advice, as always, Jasmine--thank you, thank you!

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Jasmine Hart
Review
Jasmine Hart wrote a review · Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:56 pm

I really like it.Your imagery is beautiful, and I love how you tell the story. I love;
"The spring snowed in its own way
and pollen dusted her hair yellow."

I'd change the last "up" to "upwards" as I think it sounds more natural, and I'd extend the last sentence as I don't think it sounds finished. I'd specify what has been plucked.

I like the simplicity of the last line.

A really lovely poem overall.



There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
— W. Somerset Maugham