Exist

the poem is simple yet i find it nice
the message is true but we seldom acknowledge.

keep on writing and rhyming

It was a short but sweet poetry. I liked the parts where you repeated the same line twice in one paragraph. You could have written a bit more but It's good anyway. I especially loved the part where you said 'but'. Emotions are displayed through this poem. And I also like the way you wrote the first words in bold. It was a good idea. Keep up the good work!

Hey, shiney1 here

I like this poem. It is short and sweet, but nonetheless interesting. And I like how, bit by bit, it revealed the point of view, instead of making it known from the beginning.

But the bolds kind of distracted me when I came to them. Maybe you put them there for emphasis?
But really, the same type of font should be used throughout a poem, and if you want to emphasize something, put more feeling into that or organize the layout of the poem to fit that.

If you'd take any notice
I would look at you.
If you'd take any notice
I would talk to you.

If I thought you'd listen
I would help you understand.
If I thought you'd listen
I would explain.

You can carry on thinking
That I am a stupid little girl.
You can carry on thinking
That I haven't grown up.

But...

The further you slip away
The closer I become.
The further you slip away
The more I long to exist.