Nature/Nurture

Hello, the blob here, come to leave a small review on this marvellous piece.
There is quite a bit to talk about so let’s start with all the things that drew me here:

You have used a powerful opening line at the beginning there – its repetition in the second section of this poem in the context of a change in time and foundational perception of the ‘recipient’ connects the past with the present and drives home the bittersweet nostalgic air of it all.

I was planning to talk about section one and two separately but alas, I’d be ignoring an important structural aspect if I did that. Instead, let us go by lines.
I have noticed almost every line in section 1 has an answering line in section 2. Apart from further highlighting the way the past overlaps with the present in the ‘speaker’s’ perception of their friend, it gives weight to the poem without losing context. A very nice poetic twist; thank you for this.

I also love the play with verse numbers. While section 1 has eight, section 2 has ten. Longer verses in section 1 add beautifully to its flow and, consequently, also to its innocence. Having what would be the last two verses in section 1 broken up into four in section 2 symbolically and rhythmically propagates the ‘degeneracy’ of the ‘recipient’s’ freedom and self, and… honestly, I just love this.

There is some room for improvement (as there always is with everything), particularly in section 1. While I recognise it may be a stylistic choice, I do wonder if there is a possibility of improving the flow, perhaps with the use of enjambment. The already contrasting moods of the two sections may thus be further saturated, and the message better conveyed. Of course, there is also the possibility of looking at it as an expression of the speaker’s pain while recalling happy childhood memories now that they are filled with some resentment, confusion, and helplessness, so don’t take my nit-picking too much to heart : ).

I really enjoyed reading this, have a lovely rest of your day.
The blob.

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today! (/≧▽≦)/


Hello there Persephone, Cupid here! I'm trying out the YWS S'mores Method for the first time so I'm sorry if it's not good!! But I thought I'd fly over a review for you, let's get to it!

Top Graham Cracker First Impression!
So, your poem "Nature/Nurture" presents such hauntingly beautiful piece of writing that captivates your readers from the first line! I really love your skillful use of imagery and metaphors, it really creates an annotative atmosphere, immersing your readers in a world of hidden emotions and lost connections. The poetic language effortlessly conveys the deep longing and sense of loss, an indelible impression!

Toasted, but Slightly Burned Marsh: - Room for Improvements!
While your poem artfully captures the essence of solemnity and nostalgia, there a little bit of room for further exploration and clarity in the narrative. sometimes It's beneficial to dive deeper into the background and context of the relationship between the speaker the other person/people. And one more thing, the transitions between past and present could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the piece. But other then that well done!

Melty Hershey's Chocolate: - Highlights of the Piece!
This is my favorite parttt!! I love chocolate haha! So, what truly shines in your poem is your ability to use such powerful emotions through their poetic prose. The juxtaposition of silence and outcry, reminiscence, and reality creates a beautiful and thought-provoking experience for readers. Also your use of imagery of eyes as the focal point amplifies the intensity of the emotions, making the piece all the more captivating.

Another thing, your poetic structure adds an additional layer of depth to the writing, allowing the words to truly dance off the page and into the hearts of us dear readers. The imagery of "belonging to the night and the contrast between light" really highlight the themes of identity and longing, creating a wonderfully rich and immersive reading experience.

Perfectly Toasted Marshmallow: - Favorite lines!

You were mine,

you belonged to the earth and to the stars:

a child of the night.

Belonging not to the world,

but to the night.

Yet now, look at you,

drowning in the light.

I love this. My favourite part is definitely the last part
"Yet now, look at you,
drowning in the light.
-to the person I swore I knew"
There's an element of philosophy in this. I've been interested in the nature vs nurture debate and this is really interesting. But the thing I relate to the most is that feeling you've managed to convey so clearly, of when you think you knew someone and then you discover you really don't.