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Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Anamika Chapter 1: Unlocking the Door

by Penacoladis


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Chapter 1: Unlocking the Door

As I sat in my dimly lit bedroom, I counted the cracks on my ceiling. I counted 19 today. I count the cracks every year on the same day. July 21st...my birthday. I'm turning 17 today...not that anything would change. My parents still have me locked in my room. Only opening the door to literally throw hot food at me...



My parents never wanted me...I was their first child...they hated me for being born, and ever since they took me home, they locked me in my room...I still have all the baby furniture...my old...worn out...broken...baby furniture...I had no toys, though...all I had was a broken crib, a wooden chair, a lamp, and some dirty clothes...I don't fit into the baby clothes anymore, so I have nothing to wear...my dad comes in a lot of times to scream at me to put clothes on...but I can't fit into any clothes...so he calls me a useless piece of shit monster...he spits on me...tells me that I'm out of control all the time...



My mother...she hates me too...she screamed at me the first time I got my period...it got on the baby mattress and she got mad and had my dad whip me with his belt for it...it's not my fault...I didn't do it on purpose, it just happened...and it keeps happening...so my dad keeps beating me...every month...telling me to stop getting blood on everything...but it's not my fault...



My siblings...they don't even know about me...



But mom and dad treat them like a little prince and princess...my sister...Denise...she's 8...and she's beautiful...way more beautiful than I'll ever be...her golden hair, even when curled, reaches past her bum...her big blue eyes shining, shimmering with innocence...she had a cute little beauty mark on the corner of her right eye...I have the same one...but it looks better on her...



My brother...Micheal...he's 14...he looks so much like dad...same brown hair...same striking green eyes...but he's so much different than him...Micheal's really nice and sweet...but I feel bad for him, for having to look like dad...I hear Michael by my door all the time...he's always been curious about what's in here...but I can't tell him about me...my parents would kill me if I told my siblings about me...they don't want them to know about "the monster living in this house"...



--



Michael walked towards the end of the hall, to the forever-locked door his parents told him to never go near...but he wondered why...



What about this door makes it so dangerous to be around?



What's behind the door?



He had to find out...and he will find out. Because this day, dad had to leave for a business trip, and mom was out running errands...the only ones left in the house are him, Denise, and the family dogs: Bruno, the German Shepard, and Roxxy, the Yellow Lab.



Michael slowly walked to the door, holding a bobby pin in his right hand, his sneakers squeaking on the waxed floor. He was going to pick that lock and see what his parents have been hiding for so long...



"You know mommy and daddy don't want us near that door, Mikey..."



Michael turned around and saw his little sister, Denise, with her arms crossed and pouting at him. She tapped her mary-janed foot on the ground, imitating what she's seen her mother do when she was mad at her or her brother.



"Oh come on, Deni...aren't you just a little bit curious about what's behind this door?"



"Yeah, but...we'll get in trouble if we go in there...mommy and daddy will--"



"They aren't going to find out. Mom's gonna be gone for, like, 7 hours. And dad's going to be gone for days! All we have to do is get the lock open, open the door, see what's in there, then we'll leave. It's simple! We won't get in trouble, I promise!"



Denise looks up, as if she was thinking about what her brother was saying. Now that she thinks about it, she is kinda curious about what her parents have there. It could be some hidden gifts in there!



"Okay, Mikey! Let's see that's behind there!"



Denise rushed over to her brother, who started picking the lock with the bobby pin. It look him a few tries, but he eventually got the door unlocked. He grinned and Denise clapped for him. Michael slowly started to open the door...



"What do you think you two are doing?!"



Michael gasped and suddenly shut the door. He whipped his head to the source of the voice...mom.



The 40-something year old woman glared daggers at the two kids, gripping grocery bags tight in her hands. Her face glowing red with pure anger. Denise, now very scared, started to tear up.



"I-I'm sorry, mommy!! I didn't wanna do it! Mikey wanted to know what was in that room! Please don't be mad!"



The mother dropped the bags and grabbed both children by the ears and dragged them to their separate rooms. She threw Denise roughly onto her bed and glared.



"I will deal with you once I'm done with your brother. DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE THIS ROOM!!"



She slammed the door as hard as she could, and stopped with Michael to his room, shoving him hard into it and slamming the door hard once she entered the room as well.



"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU DO NOT GO AGAINST MY ORDERS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"



Michael looked up at his mother, looking a little mad himself.



"What's so bad about wanting to know about something in the house? If it's in the house, it can't be that bad!"



The mother suddenly slammed her palm down hard against his right cheek, leaving a bright red hand print on his face.



"YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?! THERE IS A MONSTER IN THIS HOUSE! IT'S BEHIND THAT DOOR! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! THAT MONSTER EATS LITTLE BRATS LIKE YOU AND YOUR SISTER! DO YOU WANT TO BE EATEN?!"



Michael looked at his mother with disbelief. Did she really think he'd fall for that lie?



"I guess not..."



"THEN DON'T YOU DARE EVER GET NEAR THAT DOOR EVER AGAIN! EVER!! I'M GOING BACK OUT! AND I SWEAR IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU'VE OPENED THAT DOOR AGAIN, I SWEAR, I WILL THROW YOU IN THAT ROOM AND SEAL THE DOOR SHUT, SINCE YOU WANT TO BE IN IT SO BAD!"



The mother then turned around and stomped out the room, once again slamming the door. She snatched her purse and them left the house once again.



Michael sat on his bed until he was sure his mother was long gone. Now angry, he rushed out of his room and back to the still-unlocked door.



Denise slowly opened her own door, tears streaming down her face.



"M-Mommy hurt my ear...and my arm when she threw me..."



"Yeah, well, she hurt my face. I don't care what she says anymore. I'm going to see what she had behind here. I know it's no monster."



"You what?! B-But Mikey! Didn't you hear her?! She's going to--"



"I don't care, Denise!! I don't care about her anymore! She doesn't care about us...did you see her reaction? It's something big here...I wanna find out what it is..."



And with that, Michael quickly grabbed the door handle and threw the door open... 


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Points: 367
Reviews: 2

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Mon May 04, 2015 8:11 am
masquerad3 wrote a review...



This was really well written! I do have a few things I'm kind of confused about, though.

Why do the parents hate the girl? I couldn't really see any reason for the hate she recieves, and am curious to know where it all stems from.

How has she survived? It's kind of unrealistic to throw someone in a room with only some furniture and the occassional meal and expect them to survive. (Hygine would be a huge issue, and she would most likely get seriously sick at some point.)

Again, this was super good! I hope you don't mind the critique!!!




Penacoladis says...


Thank you! ^ ^

As for the question of why the parents hate the girl, it will be made clear as to why a little later in the story.

And as for how she survived and it seeming unrealistic, it's actually been done before in reality (albeit unfortunately), such as in the case of the feral child, "Genie". More on what has happened to her and such will be touched on in the next chapter.

Thanks again, and sorry for the confusion! Critiques are always appreciated! ^ ^



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Mon May 04, 2015 2:32 am
captainmichael15 wrote a review...



I like this, but I am sort of conflicted on whether or not I am comfortable reading it. Don't get me wrong, the story seems like it will be awesome! But I got a vibe that made me sit here and think to myself how dreadful it would be to be this girl locked in a room all her life. I also thought of how dreadful she would look. Not that she wouldn't have the ability to look good, but the fact that she's been neglected so much for so long has got to make her at least look like the monster the mother warned Michael about. The atmosphere was strange, and I didn't like it. But at the same time, I loved it! Keep writing this, I honestly really need to know what happens when Michael opens the door.




Penacoladis says...


Oh believe me, I don't blame you for feeling that way. It is a bit of a touchy subject, after all. It is a bit of a sorry state she is in, and the next chapter will show that. But hopefully, you'll be able to stay and read the next chapters to see how things play out in the end.

Thank you for reading! ^ ^



masquerad3 says...


Ok! Thanks for clearing things up! :)




I sleep with reckless abandon!
— Link Neal