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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Pattycakes!
Oh, goodness, this was another chapter that I thoroughly enjoyed--especially the discussion of African charities and the outline of over-used debate cases. XD It's so true! You never cease to make me crack up at least once every chapter. In my opinion, that's an epic win.
The one thing that I can suggest you look at for this chapter and the previous/future sections, is a space to add in a Tao Character. What's a Tao Character, you might ask? It's kind of like a breath of fresh air in any snarky story--it's the one normal character to balance things out. They're quiet, and often under-appreciated, but they do wonders for making things funnier.
How? Humor is all about contrasts. It's about the one sane person experience a completely bonkers world. But when your main character partakes in that world whole-heartedly, you need a character who can balance that out. It's an opportunity for "outsider jokes", but in a world like high-school-debate, there are more noob jokes than can fit in one book. ^_~ I don't think you shall have a problem. It just takes a little bit to cast a suitable character and stick him/her in, in order to create that necessary contrast.
But ooer! Despite my slowness, I love this story. On to the next chapter!