You know what amazes me? It amazes me, that of all the genetic combinations possible between your parents, you were the one that got to exist. It amazes me, because there is so much chance involved in making children, millions of cells that could become a person, but only one that will. It amazes me because that means that the odds that you, D_______ S____ W___, exist, are so unlikely, that one in a million doesn't even begin to cover it, so unlikely, that you are more likely to find the same grain of sand on a beach in California in the year 2020 and again in New Zealand in the year 2045. You are that unique.
Sometimes I lay alone in the dark of my room and wonder how many times I'll have to tell you how utterly astonishing and beautiful you are before you start to believe me. I feel like I'm such a mistake sometimes, between a military man who was lonely, and a college student who didn't know a thing about love, a stain on their carpets they can't wash out, or even fade. I hate that about myself, but honestly, looking back, and knowing what I know now about birth and existance and genetics and faith, I'm glad I was born, when I was and how I was because otherwise, I wouldn't be who I am.
It amazes me, how all the things I can see now, led me to important things, like meeting you. Like starting kindergarten at barely five, if I hadn't, I'd have never had been in the same grade as you. Like being pushed around and bullied so much I switched schools. Twice. If that hadn't happened, I'd have never met K____, she'd have never broken my heart, I'd have never needed a distraction, and I wouldn't have found you the way I did. I'm glad I passed the algebra placement test, even though at the time, I hadn't wanted to, because regardless of the fact I hated algebra so much the next year, I met J______, who opened my eyes to who I am, to what I'd been denying for so long.
It amazes me, that all those things that were so confusing and often painful or hard, led me to you, because now I can see it, this section of puzzle and I'm so glad you're in it, even though I know that my life's not complete, and it'll get harder and more painful and more confusing. I'm amazed and I'm glad, because even though it may not seem like it, almost everything is left to chance, our actions can determine consequential outcomes, but nothing human can trump chance. I'm grateful for the chance I found, the chance I took in wanting to know you, because now I can see you and be amazed by all these qualities you possess that make up you, and all these things that chance brought together that led me to you.
You are the one in a zillion that I could be with forever, and I think that's pretty amazing. Some people want to be wealthy and successful, maybe famous, but really all I want out of life, is to be happy. The thing that amazes me here, is that you make me happy, this world brings us both down from time to time, and you always help me up, I try to do the same, because despite all odds, we make a pretty great team. It amazes me, the way we interact, loving each other (at least a little), even and especially since we're so different. It's amazing, that I got to see and talk and cuddle with someone so unprecedented and special. That I still get to and still will get to do those things. You make me want to take chances, because you are the proof of how amazing the reward could be. D_______ S____ W___, I am amazed that you were brought to life, and into mine by chance, because I love you, I really, really do, and letting you go will be the one thing I won't leave to chance, because if I did I wouldn't be able to find anyone as amazing as you. Never.