The slab of marble that lay before him was a plane. It was his screen on which the sculptor could project his deepest feelings and emotions. His chisel slowly contorted the immense block into what resembled a face. To the sculptor, this was no face. It was his mind. It was his inner existence, carved into the only material representation that he could contrive. The face’s stories and meaning outnumbered its many fissures and cracks from the sculptor’s tiring hammers. It told stories and showed signs of countless feelings and emotions, only to be jaded and fogged by its lithic confines to those unfamiliar with the sculptor’s deepest contemplations.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hi Paste,
Mailice here with a short review!
This was a very philosophical and well developed short story you presented here. I like how the figurative creativity shows up here and you always give an incentive to ask yourself questions and insert short moments where the reader thinks. I think for the brevity of the story you manage to get into a deep subject where the subject matter is more than just art or performance; it's about creating and processing feelings and emotions. It's about showcasing the subconscious.
You manage to portray that very well here and describe it in a light language. I really enjoyed reading through it and thinking why you used sculpture as a piece of art. I think this way you describe it shows that behind every hard rock there is something hidden that only those who have unclouded eyes see from the social and stereotypical norms that dominate the world. I like it a lot.
I thought you also created a kind of tension by inserting short sentences at times, which I appreciated. There was a kind of heightened vibration during the reading about the possible interpretations. I just think the first three sentences would need a bit of rewriting as they are a bit flat to start with and don't deal much with the content itself due to the short subject-object content. You create that much better a little later on as the short story continues, where the sentences are more developed and open up with more meaning.
I liked the story. In summary, it was a pleasure to read and I must also say that it was a very daring and yet successful experiment to describe a philosophical and human aspect in these words.
Have fun writing!
Mailice
Thank you for the review!
This is an enchanting little story. Your description is so delicate and captivating. It draws the reader in by the beautiful way you describe the sculptor and how he's creating his art, how he's expressing himself in his sculpture. The sculptor creating an artwork that is him, that is his mind. The emotion that surrounds it is pretty cool as well. Great job!
This is a really interesting concept for a short story! I like the imagery of a sculptor creating a physical representation of his inner self, and I think you've done a good job of laying the groundwork for your story here.
While this does stand on its own as a more abstract piece of writing, the biggest piece of advice I would give you is to expand the story and go into more detail about the information you've already written. You've given a lot of good concepts and ideas about the sculpture, but there isn't much plot or character development to complement those concepts. Of course, if that's not the kind of story you're going for, feel free to disregard this advice, but I think it could be really interesting if you expanded on lines like,
This line tells the reader that the face has many "stories and meanings", but it doesn't explain any of them. Maybe you could write one of the face's stories here, adding it into the main story. It could also be cool to metaphorically tie the face's story into the "fissures and cracks" to connect the two concepts more.
Another line that you could expand on is the last one,
Again, the "countless feelings and emotions" are mentioned but not given much more detail. The "lithic confines" created by people not understanding the sculptor's intentions are also a really interesting concept, and I think it would be interesting if you went into more depth about them.
Of course, this all depends on what kind of story you want to write. Overall, I think that this is a pretty fascinating piece of writing on its own. Nice work!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well....that was a surprisingly deep story for something as short as this one here. It looks like there's so much more happening here than what appears to be happening on the surface which looks to be just someone that's known as "The Sculptor" just well...sculpting something.
Now one thing I did notice here right off the bat is that this piece as a whole feels a tiny bit incomplete there. I'm not entirely sure why, I think perhaps its that the last couple of lines look like they're building towards something bigger and then they kind of cut off a bit abruptly there. You may want to look into that one just a bit there.
Moving past that, I do love the emotions you're trying to convey in this piece here. You really get a sense that this is an artwork that has so much more meaning to the one making it rather than the ones who simply observe from the outside. Its a lovely message to bring across there...and you do a pretty good job capturing something like that in so few words.
Overall, this was a lovely story to give a quick read. Besides the slight feeling of incompleteness, I've got pretty much nothing else to point out right here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
You're descriptions are very detailed and very memorizing! This is some true quality work here! I felt myself immersed into the the story. I felt like I was the one seeing this sculptor firsthand.
I might recommend breaking it apart into two to three paragraphs, but it's also perfectly fine the way it is.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for the feedback!