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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hey, I am here to give you a short review. Hope it helps.
1) You entirely fed off of Romeo and Juliet! Apollo and Nyx love each other but can not but doesn't care and love each other any way is totally Romeo and Juliet.
2) The ability to create irony out of such a type of poem is incredible. The ironic element being Apollo and Nyx being two completely opposite in every way, but were still able to find love. You explained this clearly in the third stanza:
3) This is a great idea for a story! I can see the many conflicts arising.
Overall I love this!
My favourite stanza:
~
Paws Up!
Little Monster!
I absolutely loved your poem and as somehow mesmerized by it. It sounds so adventurous and yet it has a hint of the hardships that they faced. It was a very good poem really. But you could have made it better by not using the italics as it is something unusual although i have no problem with it but using the regular font would have made it look more organised?? Well anyway, my favorite was the first stanza. After reading the first line I wanted to read the rest of it. It is a good thing actually that is to be able to attract the readers and I say that your poem is very good indeed. Keep writing.
Thank you so very much. Your kind words mean the world to me. I'm very happy you enjoyed.
Hi Pandorax, I'm Day and I'm here to review your poem!
) and I'll be the first one to admit that I've never thought of putting Apollo and Nyx together.
I absolutely loved this piece! I'm a big fan of Greek/Roman mythology (thank you, Rick Riordan, for introducing me to that
They are polar opposites, one being the god of the sun, healing, poetry, music etc. etc. and the other the goddess of darkness and night. Ideally they should be mortal enemies, since the sun chases away the night, to put it poetically, but hey, opposites attract, right?
This topic was kind of cliché because the whole we're-forbidden-from-loving-each-other-because-it's-unnatural-but-who-cares-we're-going-to-do-it-anyway-because-we-love-each-other is highly reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet, and even though I haven't read the play, their love strikes me as lust. Though that obviously isn't the case here. And the good part is that no one's ever mixed this concept with Greek mythology before! I like that.
I think that the lines could be a little shorter, they're a bit too long for a poem. But otherwise, you've portrayed everything very nicely, even though it was short. The inevitable strife that erupts in Olympus and the indifference of the two lovers is cool. I just think that this was going a little overboard:
I do think that that's going a little too far in proclaiming the strength and purity of their love. It isn't possible to love someone with such abandon, at least, I don't think so. Even if they loved each other more than anyone ever loved someone, no one would give up everything they stand for just for their love. Their immortality, godhood and powers might be taken away and they might live on Earth, but somewhere down the road, one of them will snap. Not being a god after millennia of being one is difficult.
I do feel like you could have written a bit more about how Apollo and Nyx fell in love, because that's what I really want to know. How do two deities (one of whom is an Olympian) who are polar opposites in nature and their duties, fall in love? They probably won't even encounter each other in their immortal lifetimes. I feel like you should give us the details as well.
Overall, this was a really good poem, not just because you wrote about Greek mythology. It's sappy, but it is a poem on the forbidden romance between the god of light and the goddess of darkness.
I really hope this review helped. Keep writing!
-Day
Thank you very much. I take what you said into heart. : ) I was actually considering writing another poem about Apollo and Nyx of how they fell in love and after they fell in love, what happened. Nyx is also more a titan than a god being that she is a deity, which is also what creates the tension in this poem. Nyx tried taking over Olympus a couple of times as well. So I definitely have something more to write about. : ) This review really helped. Thank you very much for your words. : )