This is an assignment for school, it has to be exactly 100 words including the title. I did this really quickly, just and idea 
my grammar and basically everything needs help
She closes her eyes, but one can’t say she did it herself. The machines she’s wired to scream her departure.
“Time of death, ten-oh-seven pm,” says the white coated man.
A young boy sitting in the pale waiting room is picked up by the drone of the heart monitor and carried to his mothers side.
The wrinkles running along her face aren’t just from the cancer, he likes to think that he caused some of them too.
The boy of 9 years looks at the doctor, aged 49, and says “She’s not sore anymore.”
mothers - mother's
spell out the 9 and 49. though the doc's age should be cut.
I really liked this. Simple, powerful, nice little meta piece.
I usually don't like pieces that are this short as they never give you a real chance to connect with the characters or learn their story but you gave just enough life to each individual action and character that it felt real.
Especially loved the final line.
Well done
Hey there! Sporks dropping by to review.
The machines she’s wired to scream her departure.
ten-oh-seven pm,
The boy of 9 years
aged 49,
Even if it is short, it really expresses a lot.
I love the way it slowly builds up tensions , and in the end
.“She’s not sore anymore.”
#FF4000 ">Phoenix lands for a review
The machines she’s wired to scream her departure.
“Time of death, ten-oh-seven pm,” says the white coated man.
The boy of 9 years looks at the doctor, aged 49, and says “She’s not sore anymore."
This was sweet and simple. Short and to the point. The title of your work is very befitting of what you wrote here. Something about reading this was just so endearing, and I absolutely can't get enough of pieces like that. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for this. You can actually make something more out of it. Such beautiful writing.. Good job!
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