Published July 31, 2010
Ending at a moments notice,
The love of some is quick.
But maybe it's the choice they made,
The one I will not pick.
Chose your future,
Forget your past,
And make your love,
Continue and last.
The death of love is here,
And don't ignore it now.
Cause when she leaves your heart,
You'll be asking how.
Chose your future,
Forget your past,
And make your love,
Continue and last.
Now love is not terrible,
And it is not all great.
But when it comes to a broken heart,
Love turns into hate.
Chose your future,
Forget your past,
And make your love,
Continue and last.
When love is true and good,
And two turns into one.
Then love does not end,
But a future has begun.
Chose your love,
Forget your hate,
And make your love,
Continue in fate.
(I am aware of the capitalization, but it is meant to be that way, and please don't talk about my bad punctuation, for I am aware of this as well, I have my reasons) Please review and tell me what you think!
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141,606 Literary Works • 675,134 Reviews
OOoohhh i like this a lot!
sheesh your really good at this
anyway on to the review!!
this is really good the flow is great and the words are put together well.
something i really liked about this was how at the end you surprised me with the new wording of the . . . chorus? meh i'll just call it that. i liked it and it made it finish with a bang!
also i liked the coloring very clever
let me know when you post more!!
Hello there and welcome to YWS!
I found this poem very enjoyable. I liked how it flowed, your rhyming was great and that repeating stanza, nice touch. Looks like ladypurple has already outlined the fact that there are spelling errors. Always remember to proofread your work.
Otherwise, I liked this.
Good job, I'm looking forward to seeing more work from you
Hiya Panda326. Ladypurple at your service! OK I found a few spelling and grammar-ish errors. Things in paretheses are the errors. Colors aren't working for me now.
OK overall, I think the 5TH stanza kind of...clashes. It's a cool poem though. I like the message. But it needs a bit of tweaking. Well, Bye. Keep writing!
~Ladypurple.