Published March 31, 2017
Hey guys, i'm working on writing a letter to Shannon Messenger, author of Keeper of The Lost cities. I was hoping i could get some help with grammar/punctuation as well as wording. Ever time i go to edit this, i just get a numb brain lol :p
Thanks in advance!
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Hello Mrs Shannon, I am (name), a (age) year old girl from (location).
I would like to start off with saying thank you for writing such an amazing series, that is, Keeper of the Lost Cities.
So, Mrs Shannon, I was reading a particular scene in Lodestar, which I am sure you have gotten many e-mails and letters about, involving a certain Sofitz.
Reading it I realized something. Sophie has no idea how she feels (that is, about her boyfriends :p). Throughout this series she has had so much going on that she has had no time to really consider what she feels. And as much as I was holding my breath about the previously mentioned scene, what would have happened if Sophie and Fitz had kissed? First and foremost, Sophie would probably feel some level of commitment was made by doing so, making her morally unable to really consider the other two fine young men that have their sight on her. Therefore, she would be almost forced to explore a relationship with Fitz, hurting her friendships, in some ways, with both Keefe and Dex, who by now are both extremely important to her. And while I would find this extremely entertaining and awkward to read, I implore you to think about the example you would be setting for your younger readers. As I am sure you are aware, some of your fans have very few positive role models in their lives, making fictional characters (and their creators) the best, and most accessible, source of guidance for them.
And in no way am I saying you alone are responsible for being a positive role model to these people, but from what I have read and seen of your personality, you would love to be a light into these people's lives.
So i was hoping you would consider having Sopie seekk guidance from Edaline or one of her other adult influence, and at the very least trying to be level headed in this situation (she is a teenage girl though, i know all about it haha).
I hope you will consider what I have said as you continue Sophie's story.
~ (name)
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Well,I didn't the read story but I have few things to say.
I guess your start off should be more formal, for example
Dead Mrs Shannon,your book keeper of the lost city is such an amazing book,through it I learnt this and that, thank you for such a great work.
Also, your punctuations. For example,
Reading it I realized something should be
Reading it, I realized something.
Also,
Throughout this series she has had so much going on that she has had no time to really consider what she feels.
Should be
Throughout this series, she had so much going on, that she had no time to really consider what she feels.
You don't need to put has before had, your sentence would still have the same meaning without the has.
And may others, some need commas while some need full stops.
***As I am sure you are aware, some of your fans have very few positive role models in their lives, making fictional characters (and their creators) the best, and most accessible, source of guidance for them.
This part above should be a paragraph on its own, it contains ideas different from the one conveyed in the beginning of the paragraph
I hope this helps, i love the fact that you wrote about your opinion of the story, it helps writers a lot
Thank you <3
Hello Panda! I saw the plea on your wall (from quite some time ago, unfortunately) and decided that you deserved a review!
I assume that you want to make this letter as formal as possible, in which case I recommend you do a few things. First, every "Mrs" needs a period at the end. Second, I'd suggest that you format this into traditional letter format, beginning with "Dear Mrs. Shannon," on its own line before sticking the rest of the information ("I am [name], a...) in the body of the letter. Writing a letter formally and properly will increase your recipient's respect for you, and she'll be more likely to pay attention to what you're saying if you speak in a professional and seemingly knowledgeable voice.
Along the same idea,
is also informal. It should instead be something like
Why is it such an amazing series? How has it impacted your life? I'm sure she'd like to know. Also, be sure to italicize the series title.
I don't like how casual the beginning of the sentence sounds. Try rearranging the sentence structure, like this: "Doubtlessly, you have gotten many emails about a particular scene in Lodestar involving a certain Sofitz." It's simpler, more defined, and more professional-sounding.
Eek! No emojis in a formal letter to an author.
Capitalize your i's. "Sopie" needs an "h," and "seekk" needs one less "k."
Should be "influences."
No "haha"s, either.
I don't understand the main paragraph of the letter (that is, the largest one) mostly because I haven't read the book. But the main idea that I'm getting is that you were disappointed in the author's decision to make a character perform a certain way, and you're suggesting that she change it in future novels of the series so that the character is a better role model to readers. From what I can gather, Sophie made some mistakes in the book and that therefore lessens her status as a role model. But how can someone be a role model if you can't relate to them as a person? We all make mistakes, don't we? The best character is a well-rounded character that grows from their mistakes, not a perfect Mary Sue.
It's fine to write a letter to an author to praise and thank them for their work, or perhaps to speculate on what they were trying to get across in a certain scene, but recommending to a professional author that they change something about their work or works to come is, frankly, disrespectful. Now, I haven't read this book so perhaps what you criticize in the letter really is justifiable. But before you send this letter to her, consider her point of view and speculate why she made the decision to write the scene that way. Maybe you can ask her why she wrote it that way, rather than immediately assume that she shouldn't have.
Anyway, that's my two cents; you can take it or leave it. I hope that you'll get a reply from her! Good luck ~
@Wolficial, I must disagree with you. If I were a professional author (I'm not. Yet.) I would appreciate a letter from a fan who expresses there thoughts on how the story should progress. I might disagree with them, (and, as another KotLC reader, I disagree with your stance here, @Panda11) but I don't think Shannon Messenger would be insulted by a letter like this as long as the fan remains respectful. I honestly don't think that anyone will take relationship advise from this series, and even if they do, there could be worse books for them to take advise from. For instance, just about every romance novel ever.
I see your point and can agree. There's no harm in an author receiving and considering a reader's thoughts. From my personal perspective though, I wouldn't write such a "recommendation" to a professional author that I admire and respect because I would know that they know a lot more about their book than I do, and I would trust that they most likely know what they're doing, especially if the series isn't over. Yet again, maybe not. Nobody's perfect.
The bottom line is that perhaps Panda should try to approach the recommendation from a different and less direct angle; instead of saying
(which tells the author directly what they should consider doing), Panda could ask her why Sophie doesn't seek guidance. Most likely, Mrs. Messenger would have a reason for this (it could be one of the character's "coming of age" decisions) that she could explain in a reply.
Panda, you do remain respectful in this letter, so if you feel strongly with your point of view, go for it.
Thanks for your review, Wolfical! I appreciate your directness. I do agree that it would be unfair of me to tell her what she should do with her story, and you are correct that it is not my place. All i am trying to convey is that most children these days do not turn to their parents for support when they most need it, especially when it comes to romance. So showing them an example where the child is to turn to their parents could open some closed doors in their minds, is all. :3
@Feltrix, i am interested in what you disagree with, simply because i am on the fence about sending this letter at all and it might help me to decide.
That makes a lot of sense! Be honest with her and share your feelings. There's a good chance that she just doesn't realize that many of her readers would be shy of approaching their parents for romantic advice.
Mmmkidoky :3 (sorry i need the sleep right now)
I have never been a reader of romance, and so I've been desperately hoping for the entire series that Sophie won't start dating any of the boys. This got especially difficult in Lodestar when Fitz registered for matching and he and Sophie almost kiss. Basically, I want to avoid the situation that you write of altogether. That's just my opinion, though. I'm far more interested in the plots of the Neverseen and the power vacuum in the Black Swan and their contingency plan to cover up Forkle's disappearance. He's still out there, that Mr. Forkle. I know it. Another person to discuss KotLC with is @Sparkawan. I'm sure there are other fans on YWS, but he's the only one I know of. I also really wanted Lodestar to end with someone from the Neverseen saying "The Council has fallen." Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Thanks! I really appreciate seeing your point of view :3 I normally read books for the characters, so i see where our differences are.
Have a good one !