The Broken, Bent Man

I don't remember when I first felt love for the broken man. Perhaps it was during one of our little conversations as I cleaned and he drank. Maybe it was when he fixed my car, or when he disproved my doubts by showing me the purest form of love. I'm not sure, but then again, I never was.

He was a regular at the bar I worked at. I don’t think that he knew what the term ‘sober’ meant, because he always had a slight slur to his words as he ordered more to drink. It seemed to me as if he was born with a bottle attached to his lips, but I didn’t know his life, so I had no room to judge.

I remember the first night I was working. He stumbled in, clearly already drunk. Eddie, the barkeep at the time, wasn’t surprised to see him. Or he didn’t seem to be.

“The usual?” Eddie asked, leaning on the bar. The man nodded, and grumbled something incoherent that Eddie cracked a grin at. Then, the old man poured the man a drink and turned to tend to the two girls who sat giggling at the other end of the bar.

I was just cleaning tables then. I was a plain girl just trying to rake up money in any way I could. But the man piqued my interest, and I would have quit as soon as I had enough money to pay for the new engine my beat up Taurus needed.

There was something about him that made me want to know him. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed depressed and he was taking the easy way out-- forgetting. Maybe I wanted to see this man smile.

Maybe it was because he reminded me of my brother, who I had lost to brain cancer three years before. I was almost positive that I could understand this man, and what he had went through.

He returned to the bar every day after that. Though he was in a drunken stupor, he seemed coherent enough to make it in and out the door safely.

On the third night, I finally approached the dark haired man, with the excuse of cleaning the bar around him.

It was then that I asked him his name. He stared at me as if I had grown another head. “Ah, my apologies, I’m Hallie.” I smiled, “I’m the new busboy.”

He still stared at me. “You mean busgirl.” I smiled wider.

“Yup.” I nodded, staring at his gorgeous green eyes.

“I’m Jason.” He mumbled, offering his hand.

“Hi, Jason!” I called, taking the empty shot glasses that lined the bar.

“Thanks,” He mumbled, downing more of his drink. “Nice meeting you.” I waved it off, with a smile, and returned to my job. Eddie laughed at me from the other side of the bar, and I shrugged, slinging my rag over my shoulder.

I don’t remember much of the next few months-- Eddie serving Jason drink, and me casually dropping small comments to the man, who just snorted and shook his head at every time my mouth opened.

It was a Thursday that out routine was jolted out of place. News had reached me from Charlotte, the Owner’s daughter, that Eddie had had a heart attack and the Boss needed me to pour drinks while Eddie was recovering. The pay was good, and they would hire a temporary busboy while I poured-- I had done it before, and Eddie specifically requested that I fill in for him.

On my first night pouring, I spilled at least three bottles worth of alcohol on me. He stumbled in at approximately 9 PM, and stared at me. “Where’s Eddie?”

“Out. I’m filling in for him.” I explained.

Jason stared at me, “He hurt or anything?” His voice sounded a bit worried, and his eyes bored into my skull, waiting for an answer as he sat in his usual stool.

“Char says that Ed had a heart attack--” I started, pushing him back down when he stood up. “But he’s okay, so calm down. He’ll be back soon, within the month.” Jason frowned, and sat back down. We were quiet for a while, him staring at the beer in his hands and me occasionally pouring another drink for another customer.

“Get me another beer,” He sighed, after a while. “I’ll let you in on a few secrets.” I nodded, and grabbed a mug, filling it to the brim with the frothy ale. I handed it to him, and he took a drink, grimacing at the taste. “Thanks, Hallie.” He mumbled. I nodded, leaning on my elbow. “Ed is my uncle,” he began, with a sigh, “Or really, he’s like an uncle. He helped me out of a slump-- after my wife died in a car crash-- and gave me a place to stay. He’s a great friend of mine.”

I nodded, “I understand. Ed’s a great guy, and I’m sure that it would break all of our hearts if he died. Hey! Jimmy, clean off table 5, there’s somebody else comin’ in!” I called to the busboy, who waved me off, a grin cracking on his face.

“I’ll get to it when I get to it.” He laughed. I smiled, and turned to Jason, who frowned at me.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He sighed, swigging the drink. “I just think I’m going to go soon, is all.”

“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed.

“I don’t know, though.” Jason mumbled. “Ed’s all I got. He’s been all I got since.. hell, is it three years now? Four?”

I cleared my throat, opening a bottle of water. “How did it happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Drunk driver crashed into my car, we were on our way to a restaurant. It was our anniversary. Samantha was only two, dammit. And Helen looked amazing, just perfect in that dress.” he mumbled, lost in his memories. “And I looked over at her for a second-- just a second-- and then there was screaming and screeching, and the smell of burnt rubber.” His voice was a whisper, his dark hair falling in his face, shielding his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, wiping a few tears from my eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss. But who’s Samantha?”

“Oh, god. Sam,” He sighed, “She’s my kid. She’s six, now. God, Hallie, I’ve been a terrible father, sneaking out when she falls asleep, leaving the babysitter, who calls me if she gets up.”

I nodded, “Jason, you’re just trying to forget the pain. I know how bad it hurts, my boyfriend in high school killed himself, and I thought it was because of me, so that’s haunted me ever since. I know you feel guilty for looking away, but don’t blame yourself.”

He nodded, finishing off his beer. “I think I’m going to head out now.”

“Alright.” I mumbled, then thought of something. “I’d really like to meet her. Samantha, that is.” I told him as he turned shrugged into his coat.

“I’ll introduce you sometime soon,” He said. I grinned, and ducked under the ‘flapboard’ -as I called it- and hugged Jason.

“It’ll get better.” I told him before he left.

That was the day I realized that I wanted to repair the broken man.

It was a Tuesday that I saw him next, but it wasn’t at the bar. I sat in a donut shop, picking at the chocolate glazed doughnut. I only bought it so I could use the free internet. Why do they call it free internet if you have to be a customer to use it? It’s not really free, then. Why not call it ‘$1.99’ internet?

I was pondering these things when I heard my name being called. “Huh?”

Jason approached me, holding hands with a small girl, her dark brown hair separated into two ponytails. I smiled at him when I recognized him. “Hello!” The girl smiled.

“Hello! Are you Samantha?” I asked, leaning down.

“Yeah, but my friends call me Sammy!”

“Oh.” I smiled. "I'm Hallie. "

She grinned, showing a row of white teeth, the front two missing. “You want to be my friend?”

I nodded, smiling. “Yeah, that sounds fun!”

She hugged me, then, and I stood up. “Going?” Jason asked, taking Samantha’s hand as she ran back to him. I nodded, sliding my laptop into my bag, and dusting my hands off on my jeans. I slung the bag over my shoulder and gave a quick hug to Jason, who returned it before I left, waving to Sammy and her father.

Over the next few months, I saw Jason more outside of the bar than I did inside. He seemed to be getting better- for Samantha's sake, I assumed.

It was one of these days that we met, I was in the coffee shop as always, and he strolled by, his hand laced in Samantha's. She waved to me as they entered the shop.

I smiled, and waved back, clearing a small space from the table for them. Jason pulled the chair out for Samantha, and she sat there, giggling, as she clutched a small bear to her chest.

I smiled at the girl, and she smiled back, flashing her teeth. She had taken to calling me 'Auntie Hallie,' which was okay with me, seeing as I considered Jason a brother to me. He would never replace Joseph, but Jason was still dear to me. "Sammy, you are by far the cutest little girl I've met."

"You're cute, too, Auntie!" She smiled, her dark hair falling in her face. I reached over and brushed it away, kissing her forehead in the process.

A few minutes later, Jason returned with another doughnut for me, one for Sammy , and a cup of coffee for him. "What are you ladies up to?"

I shrugged, "Sam is just too cute." He nodded in agreement.

"Auntie, at school, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up! I told them that I wanted to be a doctor." Sam told me, biting into her doughnut.

"Oh? You want to help people?"

"Yeah! I want to make people's boo-boos better!" She flashed me a huge smile, the doughnut making her cheeks puff out. I chuckled. "What did you want to be?"

I bit my lip, thinking. "I always thought that I would be a writer," I admitted, "That's why I'm always here, I use the internet to publish little things I've written."

"You've never mentioned that before." Jason remarked. "I thought you were just browsing through Facebook, or something."

"You've never asked."

Jason nodded at that, "I never really cared. Have you even finished college?"

I shook my head in response, swallowing a lump of doughnut. "I didn't have enough for tuition. But I want to graduate. I just really want to explore the world, first."

Sammy looked at her feet, a sad expression on her face, "Are you gonna leave me and Daddy?"

"I don't... I don't know." I mumbled, "I don't know what I'm gonna do."

We continued eating, the atmosphere full of tension.

"What will you do if you leave?" Jason asked after a few moments. "Where would you go first?"

"Portland, to visit Joe's grave, then to my mom's. We have a bit of catching up to do. I haven't seen her for.. what? Three years?" I spoke, half to myself, half to Jason. "I would just travel, see places I've always wanted to see, use them as inspiration, probably write a novel. Or two."

He nodded solemnly. "Will you ever come back?"

"It depends," I replied, not looking at either of them, "I'm still not sure that I'll even leave. My car is still broken, and I can't take a cab all around the country."

"Do you want me to fix it?" Jason offered, "I used to be a mechanic, before the accident."

I didn't know how to respond, "I don't want you to feel like you have to." I mumbled, sipping the coffee in front of me. "You don't.. need to."

"I gotta take care of my little sister," he chuckled, "We'll swing by and look at it tomorrow." He promised me, swallowing the last bit of doughnut. "Sam, you done?"

"Yep!" She nodded, "Are we going now?"

"Yeah, sweetie. We'll see you tomorrow, Hallie." Jason replied as he helped Sam into her jacket.

"Bye, guys." I mumbled, picking up my own jacket, and pushing my chair in.

Jason kept his promise, and they showed up at around 3 PM at my small home. I allowed them in, and Sam ran to the living room where the TV played Spongebob Squarepants. I took Jason's coat, and put it away, then led him to the garage. My Taurus sat in the almost empty space, the hood dented, and the tarp that was covering it almost completely removed.

He pushed up his sleeves, and popped the hood. "Do you want something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Tea, Soda, water, coffee..?"

"Tea will be fine," He replied, "do you have any tools?" I pointed to the corner, where a medium sized toolbox sat, years of wear and tear apparent. I had gotten it from my mother when Joey died.

I left the garage, and passed the living room. "Sammy, do you want some tea?"

"Yup!" She called, her large eyes stuck on the TV. I shook my head, and entered the next room, grabbing three glasses and filling them with ice, then pouring the sweetened tea into them.

"Sammy, did you guys eat before you came over?"

"No, Daddy said we didn't have time to!"

"You hungry?"

"Kinda. Can I have a sandwich?"

I called back a 'yes' and began preparing sandwiches. As I repeated the rhythmic process of placing meat, cheese, then lettuce on each of the sandwiches, I lost myself in my own musings.

I shook myself away from my thoughts and returned to the kitchen, calling to Samantha. "Lunch is ready, go get your father!"

I heard the patter of her feet on the floorboards, and after a few minutes, she came back, tugging her dad along.

"You didn't have to--"

"Yeah I did," I started, pushing the sandwich toward him. "Eat up."

Samantha dug into her food happily, and smiled at me, her mouth full of food. "These are good."

I smiled at her compliment, and started eating. Jason kept his eyes on me, as he ate. "Did you figure out what was wrong with it?"

He shook his head, "Not yet, but I was getting there. It's not just one thing, but a couple."

I made an, 'ah' face, and pushed the tea toward him. He took it and drank it happily. "Thanks."

"No, thank you."

My eyes drifted over to a picture that sat on the table beside Samantha. "Who's that?" Sam asked, pointing at a younger version of myself, back when Joey was alive, and I had red hair.

"My brother and I." I replied, reaching for it, a sad smile on my face. Jason's lips twisted to the side, "I really miss him sometimes."

"I'm sorry," Jason mumbled, "were you two close?" I nodded, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"He was the best brother ever. But after he found out about the cancer... He... He started drinking. He taught me how to mix drinks before we lost him, and he became a shell of his old self. For a while, I hated him. It was as if the Joey I knew died when he learned about the cancer, and there was just this.. this shell with his face. I felt like he just stopped caring about me, he stopped loving my family. And he was engaged to a girl-- Oh, God. Lana. I haven't talked to her in a while. Joey just broke off the engagement- he didn't want to marry her just to make her a widow three months later." I said, tears sliding down my face, staining my grey T-shirt. Jason looped his hand in mine.

"I know the feeling of loss, Hallie.. After Helen died, I lost myself to drinking. I didn't see the light, I wanted to die, but Sam, she kept me going. She showed me the light. And you... You made me happy. You made me understand that there are more people out there. She'll always have a special place in my heart, but so will you. And after you leave, I'll still feel you there."

I nodded. "I decided to go to Chicago for a few years." I mumbled. "It's halfway across the country, but... But I need the break."

He nodded, and Sam started crying.

"But.. Don't worry. Don't cry.” I mumble, feeling tears sting my eyes. “I won’t get yet..”

Sam looked at me, tears filling her large eyes. “Wha..?”

“I still have to fix the Broken Man.”

Thanks for reading ^^

~Pen