Thursday, March 10, 2022
Do I like her? I don’t know I like the idea of being with her and calling her my girlfriend, but is that enough, does she still like me? I have lots of questions and no answers, how do I know if I see her as a friend or more? I like the way she makes me feel when I first see her in the mornings but is that enough? Am I enough for her will she lose feelings and hurt me? Will I lose feelings and hurt her? Can I stop this from going further? Can I make this go faster? Will this last? Will she be able to tell me anything? Will I be able to tell her everything? This is my first time. This is confusing. am I going to ask her to be my girlfriend tomorrow? Yes.
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139,646 Literary Works • 672,640 Reviews
Hello, again!! *waves* I have decided to take a look at more of your works published here on YWS and I found this one! Let's jump right into the review!
Well, this feels like a very personal piece. It's like a diary entry, judging by the organization with the date on the tip and the language that you use. What I found to be very interesting in this piece is how many questions you used. I can count on one hand how many sentences are NOT questions. I love this!! I think asking questions in writing makes it a lot more engaging for the reader and helps me ask questions myself, as well. Although, I think that these questions were very directed at yourself and not the reader. I love this style though, it feels like I am reading your thoughts in real time.
So anyways, the content of this piece. It seems like diary entry reflecting on a girl that you have feelings for. You want her to be your girlfriend, but you are worried that you will lose feelings for each other eventually. Or that you will be the one to lose feelings and that will end up hurting her. I can tell that you really care about her a lot.
I love this ending:
I want to know more from this story/or know what happened and how things went. I would capitalize that 'am' in this sentence, but besides that, everything looks lovely. Best of luck to you
Keep writing <3
Your friend,
Ellie
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is quite the piece here. Short and sweet but very much exactly as the title describes and quite a compelling set of thoughts too at that. I think you've managed to go ahead and pack a rather surprising amount of stuff into what is essentially just a small paragraph.
I especially like just how many of these statements happen to be questions. It just gives the whole thing a more sort of scatterbrained vibe which normally would be terrible for the flow of a piece but in this context it showcases the nervousness this person is feeling through the very structure of the piece itself and that's very well done.
I think the questions themselves also works well to this effect with a little touch of repetition and just a little bit of rambliness. I think that works very well as well to add to the effect, and it results in a powerful piece as a result. Overall I think you convey the idea of someone trying to work up the courage to ask their crush out very well and really capture the kind of mindset that you're in right before something like that. Really quite nicely done.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Hi, I love the way you expressed your each and every emotion or feeling which is going around in your mind in such a concise manner.
But sometimes everyone gets a bit confused before taking any decision. So, I thought I could give you some advice, whenever you feel something good about someone or even something bad about someone always go and confess it to them. It that helps you relax and take out that one question out of your mind and it also clears any sort of misunderstanding (if there is). Whatever happens next is not in your hands, but you can always take out that load, that one question off your mind and at last whatever happens you should always stay content and calm in any situation that comes your way.
Well keep working hard.
Please share some more stories and poems with us we will be waiting for it.
Merci.