z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Distant Lover

by PBandM


LEADING THE FISH TO THE SEA

WILLING TO RELIE

PLAYFULNESS I DESIRE 

TOLERANCE I ADMIRE 

EASY TO POP AND EVAPORATE 

HARD TO GET A HOLD OF, IF YOURS 

SOLE BUT FAMILIAR AS ME 

HALFWAY TO MY HEART FOREVER 

YOU'RE ALL I NEED 

YOU’RE ALL I NEED 

YOU’LL STAY A MYSTERY AS LONG AS I LIVE 

YOU’RE ALL MINE AS LONG AS I LIVE, I SAY AS I WATCH YOU FROM A DISTANCE 


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5 Reviews


Points: 360
Reviews: 5

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Mon May 13, 2024 7:23 pm
ClearNights says...



Starting off, I really enjoyed your poem, on the surface it may seem like a simple little poem, but once you read it and think about it, there’s a deeper meaning. It seems like it’s being written by someone who may not get to see their lover often, or or could even be about a stalker who watches their crush. It can be interpreted in many ways which I think is sometimes difficult in writing. I don’t quite know what it is, but I honestly really love the lines “PLAYFULNESS I DESIRE
TOLERANCE I ADMIRE” something about them just really pops out at me.

Overall really great poem and keep writing!! I’d love to read more of your poems!




User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 360
Reviews: 5

Donate
Mon May 13, 2024 3:01 pm
ClearNights wrote a review...



Starting off, I really enjoyed your poem, on the surface it may seem like a simple little poem, but once you read it and think about it, there’s a deeper meaning. It seems like it’s being written by someone who may not get to see their lover often, or or could even be about a stalker who watches their crush. It can be interpreted in many ways which I think is sometimes difficult in writing. I don’t quite know what it is, but I honestly really love the lines “PLAYFULNESS I DESIRE
TOLERANCE I ADMIRE” something about them just really pops out at me.

Overall really great poem and keep writing!! I’d love to read more of your poems!




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69 Reviews


Points: 875
Reviews: 69

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Mon May 13, 2024 2:27 pm
BhavyaMehta123 wrote a review...



Hii!!! Welcome to YWS.
Oh! YOU’RE ALL MINE AS LONG AS I LIVE, I SAY AS I WATCH YOU FROM A DISTANCE - This line took my heart! Being a distant lover once and knowing that pain is what I understand. The poem is filled with soul, and desire for the lover. The pain desires and feelings are so strongly conveyed. It leaves a pinch in the heart and leaves a footprint of relatability.

I liked this poem. Keep going!!!

Keep writing. :D
I would love to see more from you.

P.S. I don't know why you chose to keep it all in capitals. I would love to know the reason.





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