Don't be afraid
I'm right here
You have nothing
to fear
Give me your hand
I'll hold it tight
I promise to help you
find the light
You're in the dark
Can't find your way
You'll do anything
to get away
You take a deep breath
and count to three
more than anything
you wish to be free
The tide pulls you in
there's nothing you can do
You're drowning, drowning
drowning in a sea thats blue
Your lungs are full
You just can't breathe
But then by some miracle
a big rock appears beneath your feet
You stand up tall
the sea is clear
nothing was happening
you were giving in to your fears.
So wipe your eyes
and take my hand
hold it tight
and I'll take you to land
Trust me my friend
I'm always right here
nothing can harm you
so wipe away those tears
Hand in hand
we'll walk away
into the sunlight
'cause I'm here to stay
Life brings pain
but we have to deal
there are far greater things
and far greater emotions to feel.
When I'm feeling down,
I hope you'll be there for me too
You'll tell me it's not worth it
it's not worth feeling blue
There will always be a way out
perhaps a rock, or a dear friend
to help you walk,
walk away, 'till the end.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Yep, there are a few technical errors but they have already been pointed out, so I wont bother.......
The poem itself was very good. It was clear and meaningful, with strong imagery, which I liked.
I liked the rhythm that the first four stanzas had, however this seemed to disintegrate into another rhythm, which was a shame, but still worked well.
Great work,
Keep it up,
Alainna
xxxxxxx
Found a few typos, no biggie.
#1 :So wipe you eyes(you should be your)
#2 : thats (one apostrophe slipped)
#3 : So wipe you eyes (same mistake as #1 just different place.)
Over all very good. It's a nice clear message you're giving and you have a nice way of putting it.