Published March 16, 2011
So you're telling me...
I have the option to publish
anything I want for free?!
Whatever that is in my heart
that appeals to me.
Not only that but...
I have the benefit
of doing it twice!
Well, thanks yws,
that's really nice.
Now the question is...
What do I write about?
There is so much going on.
I just want to pick something
that you'll actually look upon.
There is of course..
The terrible disaster
in Japan.
I could easily tell you
what happen.
Or there is...
More personal topics
such as family, love and sorrow.
Nah, I can always tell
you that tomorrow.
Surprisingly, I can talk about death...
One of my favorite topics
that I can pull out my sleeve.
The biggest thing about death
is that no one believes.
No, that doesn't seem right....
I'll have to take a moment
to write something great.
In the mean time, I guess
you're going to have to wait.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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141,379 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
clever..
Hi there.
I really enjoyed this piece.
Firstly, I love that that you used an interesting structure for this poem. The I don't think I’ve seen it before and it was a interesting thing to do.
However, I think it takes some of the rhythm out of this. The good thing about straight forward four line a stanza poems is that the usually have a strong rhythm and beat. I feel that is a bit lacking here.
Besides that good job.
ok, fixed the little dumb mistakes. thanks for the reviews
Hello there,
My name is Upile and I will be reviewing your poem today.
rhyming 'time' with 'time' in the last stanza was a bit weak for me. I guess it would've been better if you found other way to like the last sentences through rhyme. Overall I like the rhyming scheme, and the simplicity of the poem. It was very good. Keep it up!!
xxx Upile xxx
This... was ingenious. Foolproof intelligent. I loved it. You had a very clever way with words throughout the entire thing. It was so complete. The only part I have to say may need some tweaking is this part here:
I know you were trying to make it rhyme, because everything else rhymed so well, but I think you could still use this same idea and just make it rhyme differently by using other words.
Other than that though, I loved it. You did an awesome job.