My first poem on this site, please be kind. I hope this is the right place for it. D=
I look upon a time back then,
a time I can't seem to remember when;
sitting in a cafe, upon one end;
at a table, accompanied by my best friends.
All of us sharing tales amidst our laughs,
each of us about to embark on our own paths.
Years spent being with each other,
growing up akin to being sisters and brothers.
Teachers and lovers, that we adore;
then, the exams that we abhor.
Before that, the homework which seems as though a chore.
Now never to be heard of, forevermore.
So here I sit, upon my living room chair;
here I sit, plucking out strands of grey hair,
thinking about a recollection of my past,
thinking about a recollection, made to last.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello! Classy here, welcome to YWS!
I must say that I have no trouble with your rhymes. I actually thought the poem flowed and rhymed beautifully! This really was such a pleasure to read.
When I review poems I like to ask: what makes your poem different? But I don't need to here. There was imagery, a story, and a lesson to be learned from it. Those are all things that I look for in a great poem. So by my standards, great job!
There were, however, some choppy lines that could be fixed with a simple click of the backspace button. There are some unnecessary commas mid-line in here. I won't point them out because I don't want to seem like I'm changing your poem, but try reading your poem out loud. It'll feel like you are an entirely different person, and you will be able to know what or what doesn't flow in this.
Good poem, keep writing,
Classy
I know it's rhymed poetry, but sometimes you write sentences in awkward word order to fit in a rhyme. For example, "sitting in a cafe, upon one end;/at a table". Also, try to stray away from words like "abhor", "admist" and "embark" simply because in this text they sound...well...old timey. And you're young a lively! Use young and lively words!
*LIKED* Check below the title, it says Likes: 2. Second one from me, first is default. Well done you've coneyed this to me very well. One suggestion is that you could really narrate the most dramatic moments of your school career and then talk about your anxiety for the coming life. Well done
Hope you'll make it 
Know you'll make it. And welcome, to YWS.