Young Writers Society

<3 Lovely poem Omni, I like the extended metaphor with spoons - I know my brain thought it was slightly poetic the first time I heard the phrase "low on spoons" and I think your piece can help people understand the feelings a bit more from a personal and poetic lens.

The stanza that really struck me was the one about spoons being handed down from a mother. By speaking through a metaphor there you are able to talk into something that a lot of people probably find to be a very difficult subject, and I like the different ways that can be interpreted too of either passed down biologically, through memories, or shared trauma or experiences.

2nd to last stanza "fro" should be -> "for"

The one stanza I didn't quite mesh with was the "blueprint" one -> I think the construction metaphor should be a bit more developed if used, or else it sort of mixes these cooking/ construction images in ways that fight rather than build together.

Your choice to have lots of end-line punctuation made me read this more deliberately / slowly, and I think was fitting for this piece, I also think the lack of caps made sense for the mood of the poem.

Overall, an impactful poem that comes across as sincere and filled with brooding and emotion. Thank you for sharing about a perhaps difficult subject.

-alliyah

Hi, hello, good morning, good evening good afternoon and goodnight, and a happy New Year as well. Wolf here for a review.
First off, its really nice to see poems, (other work as well but especially poems as I am partial to poetry) that center around, represent and speak about disabilities.
I do have a question, I was wondering why you chose to leave all the lines without capital letters? Is this to represent something? I have my own theories but I don't want to sound like an english teacher and read to much into something that means little, and I am known for doing that...
Another point I would like to touch on is the flow of your poem, as I find it so beautiful. It conveys so much that it doesn't say. Your choice of words is perfect and flows greatly with the topic and rythme.
Over all I think this is great.
Keep writing

as always,
Wolf

I loved everything about this poem.
I loved the tone and the smooth wording.
I also enjoyed the word play but forgive me for asking: what disability do you have?
I understand if you wish not to share. We all have our struggles. I count fossils and crystals.

Here for a quick review!
I really loved the tone of the poem. It's executed with an unique pace to it, the idea to use the spoon as a symbolic item was really a clever thing to do and I loved it.

"some were created to nourish
the mind when the body is too weak to do so."

This line is so beautiful crafted, it took me a few more reads until I proceeded with the rest of the poem.

"when i first wake in the morning,
i must count my spoons.
i realize i have none left."

This part added a sombre tone, breaking the light vibe with which it started and it was fascinating. It did not seemed forced or rushed out and that's something I really liked about this poem!

That's for my review and I hope you've a great 2022 with loads of happiness!!