Night

Hello, darling! Here to review, of course.

To begin with, you seem to have no common theme between the words that you separate and put exclamation marks by. In addition, some of them make no sense to be exclaimed -- why would you exclaim the word "serene"? That's the opposite of serenity. Not to mention, you go straight into the next sentence as if the exclamation mark isn't there, which I could forgive if the exclamation mark made actual sense.

Also, your meter suffers because of these lines. You have words from one syllable to three, and while some of them are stronger -- I would be a fan of "rot" if the syntax in the line after it wasn't screwy -- you have lines such as "almost", which is... why would you even include that? You go for a rhyming with the line before these, but could you really not think of a better rhyme for "coast"? Could you really not think of a better progression? This poem seems to progress in a way that makes little to no sense and is only pushed forward by the rhyme, like you wrote down a lot of rhyming words and decided to add lines behind half of them to make a poem.

Which leads to the next issue I have: This poem leaves me with no emotion. It's a collection of words that make little sense, and while you could have pulled this off by giving the words actual emotion and scrapping useless lines such as "Almost!", replacing them with stronger diction, as it is, it doesn't do anything. Poetry isn't just a collection of words or pretty words in vague rhymes with strange allocations of meter -- it needs to leave the reader with something. With an idea, with inspiration, with anything besides "eh".

Keep writing! I know you can improve this!

Although simplistic, I love the technique of using bold words after each verse. This is because the message you want to give is direct for the reader and it almost gives the poem a rhythmic quality. I love 'Serene! Is the air from Autumn's last kiss' because not only is 'serene' a complex word, you have given a beautiful metaphor to follow with. I also like how you used the 'power of three' with 'hitting us, touching us, washing us away' as it is more powerful. I could only add that the ending is a little long and could leave a better impact if you shortened it.

This is a very short but interesting poem.What i like about it is that the poet has used a lot of difficult words,which to me really took the poem to another level.
The only thing i didn't understand was the title.I personally didn't think it suited the poem.If someone knows the reason the poem is called 'Night' please tell me.
All in all i think it was a good poem.
Good job!

I so loved this.. This is amazing.. I love the exclamation points/words you have put into your work. The message was so Clear and concise.. The beginning sounds like Christmas with choir as I imagined it through the used of your word "Sing!" I like that you have used your own style of writing into this poem.. It's impressive. I have no criticism.. Overall it was great and excellent. Keep up the great work and keep being awesome.