Published March 25, 2007
We were close when you went away,
We held hands, cuddled, and talked.
You left me for months,
But I tried so hard not to leave you.
We talked while you were gone.
Flirted, made promises, and laughed.
When you came back
I thought everything would be like old times.
Then he came along,
The stranger to you.
I knew then that I’d be done.
Yet I tried to believe that you weren't like that.
I knew you liked a challenge,
At least you did when you left.
I hoped you could have changed
And accept me for what I was.
I should have known I was reaching for the stars
How could I have thought that you could changed?
You, the promise keeper, made promises
And broke them.
I thought I’d get a chance
But you were just leading me on.
He came around
And you wanted nothing to do with me.
You wanted someone who could be there at your call
Not some one who couldn't’t.
I knew before even you did,
That we were doomed
He started to to date you,
I realized I could ignore that.
He started to replace me,
How can I live with that?
How can you replace me!
I could never do that to you.
I called you out on it, along with other names.
You just ignored it, thinking I’d be okay.
Look at us now,
Are we okay?
I used to trust you, tell you everything about me
Now, we hardly talk.
Forgot even knowing each other anymore,
That’s far from happening.
I told you we were doomed.
You told me it was you who was gunna doom us.
I thought you were trying to tease me,
Trying to make me upset.
I see that we’re done now,
But I also see something you don’t.
No matter what happens,
We’re done for good.
Sorry babe,
There’s no other option.
You hurt me too much
For me to even want to think about you.
You say you’re sorry,
Then do it again?
Don't you realize
How much this hurts me?
We’re done now,
No more, I’m through!
I give up,
I can’t do this anymore.
I don’t want to get hurt,
And that's all you do.
Dishing it out,
Being the ice you're made of.
We don’t date, we don’t flirt, we don’t even talk!
Our relationship is failing.
So, to save us the pain and effort,
I’m ending this now, we’re friends no more.
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141,396 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
Eh, I didn't get through all of it, honestly.
I couldn't connect with it, it was just a continuous flow and didn't seem very poetic, IMHO. It was emotional, but in a flat, hidden sense. Nothing that made me feel any emotions, just a list of things that happened, almost like the main characters monologue of what happened, it wasn't exciting for me to read... sorry ^^'
Two articles I have written that I suggest you should read, the will help you out: 1. Poetry & Punctuation, 2. Emotional Poetry.
Maybe if you rewrote it, and put more thought into making the reader feel, and making it more poetic, it would be better. But as of now I just... couldn't really get into it.
I really like this.
Very dramatic. I would give it 9/10. If you edited it once or twice, it could be amazing!
a good poem. i thoi thought it was good. very good. lexi lexi lexi lexi ncso where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???so where is the poem???poopoopoo
i liked what you were saying in the poem, but it came off as if you were just telling your feelings/ thoughts/ events in an... "unorganized" way, though i dont think unorganized is the word im looking for...
but i did like it
keep it up