Lunar Mars Colony

Hey sawnsee here leaving my review.
Just some questions first. The record states that at one point the planet was a completly deserted wasteland without life. In the next sentence you then state that it was next a "cluster of small survivors". That sentenced completely broke any immersion I had going into it. Suggestion: Maybe try to conjoin the sentences together and change "without life" to "barely any life" or something to explain that there was still a tiny amount of life on the scorched planet.
Also I feel like the "[[Excerpt from the record of the colony on the planet 32 Pollux b “Lunar Mars”]]" could use better formatting. I'm assuming this is supposed to be on a computer or something. Maybe try:
>THE RECORDS OF THE COLONY
>>PLANET 32 POLLUX B "LUNAR MARS"
EXCERPT NO.(random number)
Something more like the reader stumbled across the data log of a computer on the planet to make the reader feel more immersed.
I know this is a prologue, however maybe try mentioning the characters name. I only know her name is Mina right now because I looked on your wall. However, assuming this was intentional and that the reader is reading this after future installations of this series, then disregard previous comment.
Other than those criticisms I really like where this is going! I want to read more of this story and want to know more about this world you are creating. Although I may be biased because I've been playing a lot of "Starfield" and I'm in love with the sci-fi space exploration genre right now. This prologue is very interesting and I'm ready to see where this story goes. This is a really good way to introduce your main character. I'm ready to see where this young rebel Mina goes.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

I think this is a lovely setup here. Really leans into a nice sense of this world here and what kind of rules this colony here operates under. And then of course the little breach there at the end with the daring heading out.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

The Lunar Mars Colony has been many in its two hundred and seventy years of existence. First, a small planet with several laboratories that were engaged in secret research. Later, a growing community of scientists searching for answers to the most important question. After that, a scorched wasteland without life. And then a cluster of small survivors. The real flowering occurred only one hundred and twenty years ago. The population was already large enough to be declared a colony, which gave it the right to ask for help from other planets. Well, Lunar Mars didn’t. Instead, they remained steadfastly independent and able to take care of themselves. And it is because of this that this colony serves another purpose. Now she has a role that only the most impartial can fulfill, because everyone depends on her.

Research is back where it started.

Maybe I actually enjoy walking outside the colony just because I am strictly forbidden from doing so. It is one of the few things on which the highest-ranked people from different branches agree: only those who know what to do and have a reason and permission to leave can leave the colony.

In theory I have all three things… I know what to do in case of almost any problem that might arise, I have a reason too, and permission… um, it counts when my mom told me to get out of her sight as permission let me go anywhere where she can’t see me? On a theoretical level, yes.

But practically I’m still in a potentially big problem and I have to hurry.

Running means something different in a gravity-controlled colony, and something else out here, where my only gravitational grips are the soles of my spacesuit boots.

In spite of everything, I will take a look at our world one more time before leaving.

I never understood the naming of our planet after Mars. Nothing here is red and barren, we don’t have barely noticeable elevations that hide volcanoes or anything like that. The surrounding landscape is a pale purple dusty wasteland stretching to the horizon where the mountains join it. What I have in front of me are territories outside the city, places where adventure could be lurking at every turn.

When I put my head back in the spacesuit, I feel happy in my heart. Stars are still visible. They flicker faintly in the dark purple sky, forming dozens of constellations that I know by heart.

With just a little enthusiasm, I turn my back on the panorama in front of me and turn my gaze back to the colony.

The colony of Lunar Mars - my home - lies in a huge glass dome. From a distance, the colony looks small and I can only see the tallest buildings. But I know that small residential areas and greenhouses are scattered around the skyscrapers and industrial centers. In one of those greenhouses right now my mom is fighting the tomatoes and must be wondering where her crazy daughter is.

Hopefully her mysterious mommy superpowers, thanks to which she always knows where I am, won’t reveal my little trip. It’s not the first time I’ve gone outside the colony. I didn’t mention these little trips to anyone - I’m not stupid and I don’t want to lose my opportunity to go for a little walk at any time.

Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
- I like how there's an excerpt at the beginning- it makes this read unique and makes it feel like we're part of the world.
- Your MC seems funny, which I love
- This world seems very interesting, and I like how this sci-fi isn't set on Earth.

Room For Improvement
- For one, I would simply suggest making this a page or two longer. You don't have a strong plot for the simple fact that there isn't enough room for one in such a short timespan.
- Secondly, I would suggest adding more description and backstory (just to bulk the story up a bit more), but make sure to balance it with action.
- I would also reconsider how you wrote the records excerpt because it doesn't exactly feel like an excerpt. I'm guessing that an excerpt of the records doesn't summarize EVERYTHING in Lunar Mars' history unless it was the prologue to the records. Maybe you could use this excerpt as an inciting incident that leads further into our story (like a backstory).

Overall Opinion
- This story has a lot of potential, and you have great grammar skills. I just wish there was more!

Happy writing, and have a blessed day!

Serrurie