Between Us, One Hundred
(based on 500 Miles - Hedy West) I kinda was typing down lyrics and then looked at them and decided to write more onto it??? Hope I did well(tho I know I did a lot of repetition but I don’t wanna review lmao)
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles. A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles away from home. Where she goes, I do not know, yet she goes where I don't go. A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles away from me. I can still hear the whistle blow a hundred miles. Far from home, away from here, through the lows and through the fear, I can still see her face a hundred miles. A hundred miles from here.
Where she runs, I hope to go. Where she stays, I hope to be. I can't stand being left alone with memories. A hundred walks, a hundred smiles, a hundred talks, a hundred miles. They all whisper through my mind, a hundred thoughts. I can't go where she goes. I can't follow where she leads. I can't stand being alone with memories. Thoughts of her plague my mind, memories cloud my thoughts.
Wonderful adventures here in my head from a hundred years.(Note to self: hard to say, Wonderfullllll ad*ven*tures here *comma like pause* in my head from a (fast)hundred years. DELETE LATER)
A hundred years, condensed to 10, a thousand days into 1. I can still hear the whistle blow a hundred years away. A hundred years, a hundred miles, a hundred miles away from here. There I sit listening for her call.
A hundred places that I see, a hundred voices that I hear, a hundred flowers that I smell. A hundred touches that I feel. I can sense a hundred things as I walk through. I walk through and I walk to. I walk here and I walk there. I walk a hundred steps, straight to her.
A hundred dishes that I taste, a hundred feelings in my mind, a hundred thoughts come rushing through, a hundred lives that I will live, as a hundred memories play on inside my head. In my head I can see. in my head I can hear, I can feel her coming, coming to me.
A hundred days, a hundred days, a thousand ways I see her near. Coming a hundred miles, a hundred miles straight here to me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Ohh like basically fanfic, but for a song!
Is it time for later now, for the deletion? XDI really like the first paragraph. I forgot the exact rhythm of the song but it was easy to read one into the words :3
I like the juxtaposition of hoping to be where she is but never actually being able to reach that place, in the second paragraph!
Hmm I know these are lyrics etc but I still think it would look prettier if you wrote out “ten” and “one” here:
Thanks for sharing :3
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I loved this song! It reminds me a lot of a loved one I lost a few years ago.
You capture that desire to be near the person and the pain of the loss of them really well. It made me choke up a little. and I really found these lyrics interesting because it seems like the narrator has already lived a hundred years and has to live a hundred more to be reunited with their loved one. I thought that was beautifully sad as I interpreted that there’s such a long time between now and them meeting again.There are mentions of a whistle in this song and I thought it was very interesting. I thought it was a call to the narrator from Death or something, which would be the only way to come back to the one they love. I thought it was a cool metaphor and thought to mention it lol.
I think that’s what I have for now! I hope you have a great day
Thanks. The song certainly is awesome and it reminds me of those gone by too, and that is something that I cherish. This review definitely boosted my confidence over this piece(since I thought it was kinda uncreative, having taken heavy inspiration from a song) and I am really grateful for that!