Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
8 Jan 2101AD
Saturday
I have decided that I won't be going to school. I already have more than enough credits to graduate. I’ll have a lot of time to work on "The Eleanor". It's not like I have a lot of expectation from this life. All I'll have to do is to keep my expenses under radar and not get flagged by any agency and I'll be fine.
Mr Green already offered me a full time job at "The Shack". I have been working there for about six months so it's very natural I guess. He is a lot like my grandfather. I sort of like him.
I mean honestly PunkRockQueen83, seriously, how original and clearly not stupid. But I like the taste in music. Ordering one of the best alt-rock albums of the early 21st century, not that bad. It's almost sad that nu-metal died that early.
I have to work on my car, as much as I hate it I really don't have any choice but to make it electric. I really don't think it won't be "The Eleanor" without the gasoline engine but what can I do. A lot has to be done before I start working on the engine.
Sometimes I wonder how life would have been when people used to drive real cars and not these self driving robots that we have now.
The recording that i brought turned out to be completely useless. All I got was a voice that was used to authenticate the delivery and a footage of a room on the first floor with a book self full of books, real books, books that are made of real paper. The house is nice, actually it would be an understatement, it's a freaking mason, clearly whoever own this is loaded.
If I had real books I would charge People just for touching 'em and definitely smelling ‘em would cost extra.
In the recording I can see a copy of Romeo and Juliet on the book self among other classics. I can get a lot of money for that if I can find a buyer. I haven't stolen a book before 'cause they are so rare. As far as finding a buyer is concerned I won't be that difficult 'cause the world is full of moron that like to read crap, who cares? As far as I'm concerned all I care about is money but first I need to steal it.
Owning the security camera feeds was not that difficult. I wonder why people don't change there default passwords of the IOT devices. Not changing the default user name and password of cameras kind of defeats the whole purpose of having them in the first place.
Thanks to who ever configured the cameras, I own 'em now. I already downloaded the schematics of the house so all I need to do is walk into the room and steal the book or shall I say books.
When I entered into the room I could hear "Crawling" from "Hybrid Theory" playing, with full sound just the way it should be played, I thought. RJ Dash from “The Classic Rock Show” did a review of this album and said that the album deals with isolation, disappointments, and the aftermath feelings of failed relationships. Pretty dark if you ask me. But as far as my moral goes the house looks like a Manson, so it’s clear that the “Owner” of this house for sure is one of“The Elite”. So, anything and everything is fine by me.
The house is very large but it seemed like no one lives here, as I made my way to the room where I had seen the book self all I could think was about the person who order the album.
When I reached the room I could see a girl probably my age sleeping in the bed, the moonlight from the window pane was falling directly on the bed so the room was moderately lit from the moonlight. The loud noise of the speakers didn’t seem to bother her, so I can be sure that she’s sleeping. She is hugging the pillow tightly, so tightly that if it was living I am sure it would had been dead. My psychologist brain registered that it’s a clear sign that she is missing someone or something but who, my brain wondered.
Honestly as much as I love to hear her sad story(not really I’ve got enough sad ones of my own) I’ve got a book to steal and there is money to be made. With these thoughts in my mind I make my way towards the book shelf.
The collection is great. I should steal the whole shelf but I couldn’t possible carry them with me, at least not now but I can easily carry Romeo and Juliet , Macbeth and 1984 by George Orwell mainly ‘cause these will be sold easily. I will take Titus Andronicus for myself. I’ve heard that this is the bloodiest play that was written by Shakespeare.
I packed the books in my backpack and as I was leaving I stopped to take a look at the sleeping girl and I noticed a journal beside the lamp. When I saw the journal I thought “ Bitch can afford to write on real paper”, I had to steal it. I also saw a bottle of pill, probably sleeping pills but as I am on auto-pilot I can’t probably bother to think about these stuffs.
Track 8, “In the End” was playing now. I had to leave before I get greedy.
I reached my apartment and as I lay on bed I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was watching me whole time but it’s not possible I am sure she was sleeping ‘cause I saw a bottle of sleeping pills but it’s a possibility that it was placed there to fool me then again she didn’t know someone will be coming to steal. Why there was a bottle of sleeping pills? Who gives a fuck ? Why do I care if she dies I don’t even know her? But I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to read her journal.
12:30 am
Sunday
When I open it there was on only entry and it read
Hi,
This is Lara, but you know that already. I know you would be wondering that I might have people that genuinely care about me. Sometimes life can be a lot to deal with but lately I been struggling to keep up with it.
I wonder if anyone will even care if I die probably my dad but no one knows where he is. It’s been a year since I last heard from him so there is a good chance that he might be dead or forgot about me like my mother.
I really don’t have any friends I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with a girl with billions in inheritance but not the one’s who genuinely care about me. Sometimes I really wish I had a brother or a sister at least I wouldn’t be alone in this house.
Sofia takes care of the house, but she leaves by 6, she got kids of her own, kids that are a lot younger than me. I am an adult as I would have been 19 this March but I guess there is no point thinking about things that are definitely not going to happen.
I don’t think Sofia will miss me. After I die everything will go to a trust, Sofia will still have her job ‘cause she takes care of the house not me. So why would she care?
What’s the point of me writing this? Guess, I wanted to write something before I died. Well I have vomited enough words.
Not that anyone cares, This is goodbye.
Good Goodbye.
Lara
Shit! This is a suicide letter. For a minute I thought I should go back and steal as much stuff as I can , ‘cause there is a good chance that she might be dead already but then I thought it’s 12:35Am, it’s Sunday now. When I entered into her house it was around 11:30pm and track 5 was playing. I think that she put the CD and took the pill, so she couldn’t have taken the pill more than 20 minutes ago ‘cause the whole album has a playtime of 37 minutes and 45 seconds. She must have taken the pills between 11:10 pm and 11:15 pm.
Such a Drama Queen; explains Shakespeare on her shelf.
Without any delay I call the Cops from one of my burner phones that I tend to steal time to time during my subway rides. The trick of not getting caught using stolen phones is that first you have to format the memory, don’t forget to root it and overwrite it with an open source OS preferable Ubuntu Touch. Who would have thought that picking pockets during subway rides could save a life?
I should go back to sleep. I’ll post ads for the books tomorrow. It feels like my brain is about to shut-off. I’m been auto-pilot for almost an hour. Whenever I’m stealing stuffs I tend to switch to auto-pilot, it’s like I am completely different person. I prefer that way, everything gets completely automated. I wonder what Mr. Patel would think if he knew about this talent of mine. Don’t know about Computer Science, but I’m definitely natural when it comes to stealing and breaking in.
8 Jan 2101AD
Sunday
7:00Am
Sam starts shaking me, desperately trying to wake me up and constantly screaming “Get up Sebastian, get the hell up”. I keep ignoring him for about a minute, so he pushes me out my bed and I fall on the floor.
“What the fuck Sam”, I said.
Sam: “Lara attempted suicide”.
Me: “ Who is Lara?”
“Who is Lara? Where have you been living?”, he switches on my television.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello, NoName. I am here to provide you a review. Let’s get started, shall we?
Alright, now we know what the main character’s name is: Sebastian. Well, it seems like Sebastian doesn’t care about anyone except for himself. Maybe there is a reason why he is the way he is? As for Lara, she is a depressed girl. Even though she is rich from her inheritance, she is lonely. Loneliness can cause depression, which can lead to suicidal thoughts, which does lead to the actual deed. Sebastian’s character makes me smile because he is like ‘I don’t give a crap, I’m a badass.’ type guy. As for the Linkin Park references. I like it. As a huge fan, I enjoyed the reference you put in there. I almost started to sing ‘Crawling’.
Put a period between ‘Mr’ and ‘Green’.
Surely you can come up with something better than this. Maybe like:
He reminds me a lot like my grandfather. Maybe that’s why I sort of like him.
Need a comma between ‘books’ and ‘I’. The word ‘people’ needs to be lowercase. There are plenty of spots that need commas in your story. This is just one of them.
Revise this sentence. There are many mistakes in it, grammar and punctuation.
Change ‘there’ to ‘their’.
We already know that the room was lit from the moonlight, so there’s no need to mention it twice.
Overall, this chapter was better than the first. A few grammar and punctuation errors here and there, but those can be easily fixed. I enjoyed Sebastian’s character and I don’t think Lara is just going to die off that easily. Make sure you read over your work before publishing, that way you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again. Like I said earlier, I liked the Linkin Park references, only because I am a huge fan. Keep up the great work. Keep writing and enjoy the rest of your day. Can’t wait to find out what happens next.
Note: If you want to keep posting your story, be sure to review other people’s work on the site to get points.
- Kanome
Okay. I am going to try a review now....
FIRST: Your dates:
I would have underlined, or something to show the readers that it does that, that the time has changed.
SECOND/ LASTLY I BELIEVE: Some of your spelling and your information in general.
You could explain alittle more on the main meanings of your characters and what is going on and everything.
OVERALL: Overall this was as great as the first one. I genuinely enjoyed it. Congratulations!
Ohh okay
Nope. it's track 8 of Hybrid Theory by Linkin park.
Ohh okay. I know that song too.