you purposely ignore me, knowing I can't go a day without speaking to you .
you laugh and joke with other people leaving me with nothing to do
I can't just forget it, we both have to face and overcome it.
you know how much you mean to me'
so why are you killing me softly?
"I know i pushed you away'
but the closer you came,
the more I hurt."
and something just kept telling me that it wasn't going to work
the worst thing I could do was give up, yet that's exactly what I did
and for some reason you plan to never let me forget
I can't explain why I feel DEAD possibly
and it's because you're killing me softly
keep safe... love you
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi there! Welcome to YWS! I'm April. Nice to meet you!
I think "purposely" should be purposefully. I think it seems to fit the sentence a little better, and make it sound a bit more fluent. Also, there should be a comma between "me" and "knowing". Also, remmber to capitalize those I's!
The comma is good, but the space should be after the comma, not before.
I think this sentence would be better off being; "You know how much you mean to me," and yes, please add the comma at the end.
This is a question, hon, so put a question mark at the end, please!
You need some commas in there. Also, I think that line should be broken up into smaller lines, e.g;
"I know I pushed you away,
but the closer you came,
the more it hurt."
Or, something like that. You definitely need commas in those spots though.
You should have a comma after "give up". I also think you should change "and" to "yet". It seems to better the fluency.
I know you wanted to emphasize "dead", but you can just italicize it instead. I also think that you should make that line something a little more like this;
"I can't say why I feel dead"
A bit better?
"Your" needs to become "you're". Those are tricky things to spot. Also, the space (before the three dots) should be after (the three dots).
Hope I helped! Wonderful poem, but you need to work on punctuation, fluency, and some wording. Add in some figurative language to spice up the poetry. Personification is also good to use too. I think you just need to spend a little time cleaning it up, and adding in some flavor.
Write on! ~April