Young Writers Society

Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm currently editting this part and it isn't all of chapter one. I might carry on with the story but I'll have to work into it.

-- Niobe.

As Nanli looked over the west wall she squinted her eyes in the poor light to see the Black Mountain, a thin misty fog clung around the city and torches had been lit at every guard post. The red flames of Black Mountain continued to erupt and sprays of molten rock shot up into the air and rained down to flow along the mountains side. On clear day she would have been able to make out the jagged surface but today the mountain was like a black shadow hidden from view behind a thin veil.

Nanli turned to see a young archer with a scowl on his face. He wore a black gambeson with plate armour over it, a scabbard was hanging on his side and a quiver was strapped to his back. Nanli ignored him and turned back to the mountain, soon the city would be under attack and this was her last chance to look upon the very mountain that was going to be part of her citys destruction. It was unlikely for anyone to survive, the soldiers would die defending the people and their city and the people would die of starvation or surely would be massacred by the enemy.

When they striked spread quicker than a contagious disease, already the cities of the west had been taken over by the foreign empire. Metanpel was the only city left in west, how could a city protect its people and fight the enemy?

"Miss, you'll have to leave," the archer said.

Nanli sighed wearily and stepped away from the stone wall an was helped down by the archer. She walked along the battlement to the tower and ran down the stairs, once she was out in the street she frowned to see the man still watching her, she walked on until she came to familiar streets.

For once Nanli did not welcome the silence, usually the city would have been busy preparing for the coming winter. On the walls there were various graffiti, one caught Nanli's eyes: No Future, written in red paint against the sand coloured building. Nanli strode towards it and touched the wall, writing the words over with her fingers and muttering, "No future."

hmmm...I like it, as I am interested to read more.

Some nitpicks I found.

1.

part of her citys destruction

their city and the people would die of starvation or surely would be massacred by the enemy.

when they striked death spread quicker than a contagious disease,