I typed this with my friends as a joke! Comment please.
Harry Potter was in the forbidden forest looking for his beloved, Hermonie. He heard someone walking behind him.
Crack, some leaves crunched under his feet. He turned around and felt a surge of pain run down his scar.
A black shadow flew up to him and the pain got stronger.
"Hello Potter," Lord Voldemort said.
"Go away!" Harry Yelled.
The pain was intense, like getting stabbed five times in the heart. The wind rustled through the trees.
Voldemort was holding something. Harry looked closer at it.
It was a cookie.
Harry's stomach growled.
He hadn't eaten for hours, he was looking for Hermonie.
"Now, Voldemort, why do you have a cookie?" he asked calmly even though the pain surged through his whole entir body.
"To eat," he whispered.
"Give me it." Harry demanded.
"No," Voldie hissed.
Harry pulled out his wand as Voldie did. They fought for the cookie with many spells.
"Expeliarmus!" Voldie yelled.
"Stupify!" Harry yelled.
This went on for several hours...
In three hours Harry ate the cookie and had Hermonie at his side. During the wand fight Hermonie came to Harry, the sparks from the wands helped her get to them.
"You're my hero!" Hermonie said.
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140,637 Literary Works • 673,574 Reviews
Some spelling errors, and a ship.... Other than that, most excellent!
Muahahahahaha you are a genios
The forbbiden forest should be in capital letters.
And its hermione not hermone
Lili
Haha this is hilarious, I've seen a lot of short jokes like this before. I am a total Potterhead and admin on a few FB pages about it, so I find this extra funny due to the simple fact that I've seen it before XD. Great job, it was hilarious, and the sad part is you got the fight scene almost identical to the normal ones....0.o.
. At least, that's how I've always seen it. Not being a Harmony (Harry and Hermione) fan, I couldn't agree with the whole "he was looking for his love" thing, but it was still cute 
. Again, that was really funny, and now I think I want a cookie.
Either way, just wanted to point out that it's spelled "Expelliarmus." Also, It's Voldy
It's actually Hermione.
It is funny, ironic, really good. But could be more descriptive, for example, you could write some spells, maybe create new ones. Also, you could explore Hermione's presence at the scene. Like, before Voldemort appear, she could say " I want a cookie". For some reason it reminds me of that scene from the "Deathly Hallows", part 2, when she pretends to be Bellatrix. Anyway, great story.
LOL. Unserious, but good for the lulz.
Hello. I am new here so I hope I'm doing this right-haha!
Anyways, I loved the concept.
Theres something quite clever about bringing up food between Harry and Voldemort. I think we fans sometimes wonder about the small things like that. Whether Voldie eats or Harry uses to bathroom. So I thought taking a simple idea and turning it into a short story, especially about a cookie, was an awesome idea!
The only thing I would suggest is try expanding your sentences a tad more. When you make them so short and simple, its makes things go too fast, and although you want it to be a "short story" you want it to be memorable; and shortening things sounds like listing sometimes.
Other than that, I really liked the concept and thought it was super cute!
Thanks for the lovely read. =]
It was a cute story. Just a suggestion but maybe adding a prequel to it about how Voldemort got the cookie would be fun. Like for instance if one of his Death Eaters was munching on cookies at a Revel and the ensueing hilarity begins. Just a thought. Anyhow, I do agree with the others with the spelling and grammar. More detail would be nice. As log as its relevant, it can be as crazy as you want it to be and it will still flow. Personally I thought Hermione was out of character but thats the beauty of fanfiction. I liked the touch of Harry calling Voldemort 'Voldie'. It just shows how reckless he is and is further illustrated in the story.
Hi there!
So, there's two reasons I decided to read this:
1. It's about Harry Potter
2. I liked the title.
I read this through and really enjoyed it! It was funny and sort of childish, but in a good way. One thing I have to comment on, though is the fact that you called Voldemort Voldie. I know you said you wrote this for fun, but I think you should still stick to the real names of the characters. That's all.
Overall I really enjoyed reading this! Very funny. Keep writing!
Do you know how awsome this is? Well, I guess you probably do, but I just have to say it. This is amazing. Keep on keepin' on!
Ha-Ha, this was funny, it had it's flaws and faults and I don't like how you call Voldemort "Voldie" all of a sudden. It would've been fun if Harry spoke to his with that nickname but the person who tells the story shouldn't use nicknames like that. I'm not gonna point out every little mistake I can find since previous reviewers has done most of that already, I wanna point out this little thing though; "Give me it" I think this line sounds a bit weird... "Give it to me" would sound better and more stubborn if you know what I mean ^^ Overall, Nice job!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Harry Potter and Voldemort fighting over a cookie. EPIC
I Just thought that is Harry supposed to be looking for Ginny instead ?
LMAO this is friking HILARIOUS
umm... okay...
It was hilarious! Al little weird, but hilarious.
...
this is really good.
Oh my gods! A cookie and Harry Potter!?! If only Ron were there....hahah. Anyway it was really cute and funny. I would just edit the ending a little. Maybe make it a bit more clear? I kind of got the gist of what happened but it would be nice if you made it detailed. Go Harry Potter! Woo! haha
-Kels
Great short. I loved how you refereed to Voldemort as "Voldie".
I wants a cookie
.
I like the humor you and your friends put into the story and I like how vlodermort and harry were acting kind of childish. There were a few spelling mistakes but that was the only problem I saw.
I still wants a cookie....
Ok, Found this story very entertaining. Why? Because it combines two of my favorite things: Harry Potter and cookies!!
Seeing as this is a joke I don't really have anything bad to say about it. Keep writing!
Hello, It was good
One thing...
Entire should have an e on the end.
HAHAHAH! THanks for a good laugh, my friend
Great idea to incorporate humour into such a serious storyline, genius! All of the noticable mistakes and typos have already been pointed out in previous reviews, but I just had to give you guys a pat on the back for this *pats on backs*. Only suggestion would be listen to many of the other reviewers and extend it to include Hermione's entrance, it's a little rushed there. Other than that, great idea, and keep up the good work!
>>>Ryan<<<
kind of bring back the early moments of harry potter when it was all not about fighting
This is one of the funniest stories on the site in my opinion. Although you did seem to rush the ending a little bit. You never said how Harry got the cookie. And when did Hermione come into the story? And you never said who won the fight over the cookie. But other than that the story is hilarious. Fix this and you'll have a great story.
Tyler.
Hey,
This is one of thee funniest stories I've read on this site. I especially loved the bits when Harry and Voldemort were talking because what they said was so obvious. There were some spelling and grammer mistakes, but everyone else has pointed thse out. Also, the ending could have been a little more descriptive, and there could have been a bit more speech between Harry and Hermione, but all in all it was a great, funny story!
This is kind of random. The ending is kind of rushed. Also, Hermione doesn't like Harry, she likes Ron. It's a very funny story! I like it! Its a little weird how Voldemort would have a cookie, but that's what's so funny about it!
It's great!
Wow this was nice and creative..you nwon't expect that to happen but there are some Questions
Where did the girl come from?
How did she get there?
Just the simple stuff But overall you did a great job but this was something I bet everyone enjoyed I know I did I hope to see more of your work around and you can check out mine if you have time. and review me too...see you around ****JessiG833****
I had the idea!! (;
Cute! Though the weak points are already pointed out by others.
We'll all be waiting for another episode!
This story is as cute as can be. I loved the epic fight over the cookie.
Hee hee! Your title cracked me up! And the rest of it was pretty funny, too! I particularly liked the whole 'Voldie' thing!
Hahah the cookie idea is hilarious...and i love "voldie"
This is weird. I like it
Hermoine not Hermonie .
Wicked. I loved it. "Voldie" is classic and its funny how you just decided to throw Hermione in at the end! I love writing parody like stories like this. ;oD
that was funny an cute
that was cute and funny aside from the speling and little grammer it sounds like something I woould write if I got bored
I love it!! Harry Potter rox all the way!! This was absolutly hilarious!!
~Tee
LOL that s was hilarious im a die hard harry potter fan and i thought i would be hurt by things making fun of them but i actually didnt mind no better i really like it PS could you please review the first chapter to my book the zenith
Haha omg. I think everything has been said but lol this was VERY funny and random. xD
I LOVE IT. Keep up the... amazingly short and funny stories.
Also, don't over do the short sentence tactic, it gets a bit annoying.
Hiya! This was HILARIOUS! Now, grammar and spelling= red, word choice=purple, and my comments and suggestions=blue.
Most of the issues in this were grammatical and it was awesome! The only thing I thought was weird was that you used Hermoine instead of Ginny, but that's the beauty of fanfiction: you can do whatever the hell you want!
~Luxy
What a cute story! I just saw Harry Potter last night, so this was just what i needed!
Very cute story and made my day.
Really good apart from the spelling mistakes pointed out by BlondieMissyAngel. Keep writing because this is great! 
~Crim
hey Nike,
I think you mean "beloved"because you were working in past tense before this should read, "He hadn't eaten in hours."
spelling mistake! entire
sould read, "Three hours later Harry munched on the cookie and had Hermioneby his side."
you could say that she "exclaimed" also you keep spelling Hermione incorrectly. lol
other than that it's cute!
Regards
~Missy~
LOl this is cute as can be but I agree with the others. As far as errors they have pointed them all out and well it would be just a bit less confusing if you could lengthen it add some detail and excitement. It wasn't bad don't get me wrong. It is an excellent story it just needs a little bit of work as far as detailing to really give the reader some excitement. It would make it funnier. All in all, Absolutely wonderful story. My advice: detail. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or comments.
Maith adh,
Celtic
Um... This was really funny but how in the world did Herminoe randomly show up? Elongate this part! What kind of spells? More examples. Seems a bit short and rushed. Is belowed supposed to be beloved? Why was he in pain? Make it a little longer and you've got a great story!!!!
Spell ideas: Mycookieuseverentence, Starvantion, and Gimmeacookie.
You can see what they mean by the names. Good luck!
Hey! Okay, pretty much love this. Firstly, It contains relation to harry potter and ties in a cookie. How much better can it get? Maybe if it had unicorns...just throwing out an idea
Anyway, time for the review. MilkNCookies, got a lot, but I noticed a few other things also.
forbiden should actually be forbidden, two b's.
There should be a comma after Hello.
The part in bold seemed a bit random, first it's about being in terrible pain, and then you mention the trees rustling? You might want to change that.
I believe "hasn't" should be hadn't
I think instead it should be, he had been
In any story, unless the number is super long or is a year, be prepared to right out numbers. So, make 3, three.
Anyway, loved it! Hope you keep writing funny stuff like this!
That is hilrous. (Sorry the spellcheck's not working) I thought it was really cute and funny. Though it would be nice to know how Hermonie showed up at the end, but other then that it was very funny.
He! That's funniez!
That's a clever ending. All around a cute short story!