That evening I sat alone,
My eyes caught a glimpse of a little kid
a girl with her basket filled with flowers,
standing behind the gate
with red flowers -- roses.
She looks hesitant behind the gate,
looked at me then smiled sheepishly
while holding her basket of the roses,
her little hand waving
with warm camaraderie.
"You're selling the roses? 'I asked.
she shook her head.
I was confused for a moment
before she said,
"A man sends this roses for you." She smiled again
and I laughed--touched with the red roses.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
I like this poem. The use of a larger vocabulary gives the impression you know what your doing, which is important. *RoseCrown* said that you should've put "catch" instead of "caught". I disagree. You use past-tense in most of the poem, so I believe that your problem/error was using present-tense in the second stanza.
Hi I'm Lois and I'm here to review your poem.
This is such a cute and lovely poem.
I liked how you described the little kid!
There was only 1 mistake i found in your poem.
It's in your first stanza in the second line.
Instead of 'catch you should have wrote 'caught'.
Other than your poem was exquisite.
Hope you write a lot more CUTE poems!
LOIS
thanks for your review!
hi my names alilovessandy.
this poem is really cute. its nice to read a happy poem once and a while. it does feel a little like a story not a poem but im not complaining because thats how i write my poems. i would like to say thankyou so so much for not rhyming. i hate rhyming poetry. do u like it or hate it? anyway im just lost for words all i can think to say its that i loved it and its cute. well there is one spelling mistake i picked up on somewhere i just cant remeber where. anyway its really good. i hope it gets published one day. i have a question for you. do you like tmi or tid. if you dont know what that stands for its the mortal instruments and the infernal devices. they are by cassandra clare and i would love to find more people who love them.
anyway great job.
from alilovessandy
thanks for review!I really appreciate it.Well,I love both as long as it taste 'nice' in my tongue.Lol
I can't really help with with the mistakes and stuff, don't even know if there are any. Srry but I'm pretty sure I failed grammar.
It sounds wistful and nostalgic if those are the right words. Later NightWalker.
But the poem is good with a great sense of love. Who was the man? I'm curious.
You caught me with the title "The girl with roses".
P.S did you change your picture.
Hey,thanks for review,ya,i changed my pro pic:)