This world is cruel and dark
With twisted turns and rotten paths
Shadows hide all that we fear
While demons lurk inside our minds
Some know the truth of this world
While others frolic unaware
Those that do hide behind masks of joy
Never showing the pain beneath
Hunting for light seldom found
Playing in fields of decay and rot
Until a light draws them out
Into a land new and bright
With sights and sounds never experienced
There they frolic with the rest
Until they are once again deprived of light
Hiding in shadows with new faces
Some return to the dark accustomed to the shock
While others are thrown in new and afraid
In time most will understand
Learning to survive
While others drown in their despair
But in the end they will all watch from the shadows
Waiting for the next to join their fields
And their turn to bathe in the light once more
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,795 Reviews
Hello and Happy Review Day!!
This world is cruel and dark
With twisted turns and rotten paths
Congratulations on an excellent opening! It doesn't technically rhyme but when I read it, it seems to. It sounds amazing and flows so well.
Those that do hide behind masks of joy
Never showing the pain beneath
It's good that you added relatable things instead of similies and metaphors and all that jazz.
I like this poem, it's completely true. I think that waiting for 'light' is something that everyone does. We get jobs to earn money so we can buy fun things. We get into relationships to make us happy. And when you don't have those things you want, life gets dull and dark. You've captured this well.
Thanks for the review.
I appreciate that you took the time to review my poem. I hope you find your own 'light' one day!
Some knows the truth of this world
While others frolic unaware
Those that do hide behind masks of joy
Never showing the pain beneath
the best four line of the poem...i really really enjoyed it. People who knows the truth, should told their experience and other people can be helped by them. Hoping to get more of u,TC.
I would like to get a review from u for my work.
I'm glad you enjoyed my poem, and I have others to put on here. I don't have enough points to put anything else on just yet though. I will definitely look at what you have done, just as you have done with mine.
This was strangely appealing. It was really good, I didn't see anything that I think should be changed. I like your choice of words. I really like these two lines:
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
"Shadows hide all that we fear
While demons lurk inside our minds"
It's crazy how true this is. I always think that there's no greater demon than ourselves. We create the monster among us, without ever really realizing. That's what I gathered from those two lines.
I just think this was really good. Good job. I also see you're a new member so welcome to YWS!
Thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it.